You’re sitting quietly, but suddenly you start to feel strange. You’re having trouble breathing and you feel a tight feeling in your chest. Uneasiness sets in and you can’t concentrate, no matter how hard you try.
It is a feeling that almost all of us have experienced because, to a greater or lesser extent, we have all been victims of anxiety. The problem begins when anxiety becomes a constant state, affecting our performance and considerably diminishing our quality of life.
It is therefore not surprising that the consumption of anxiolytics has increased alarmingly throughout the world. In fact, it is estimated that one in three Spaniards have resorted to these drugs over the last year.
However, anxiety medications should be a last resort. It is better to try other techniques, which have no adverse effects and are aimed at eradicating the problem at its root, not hiding it. One of the techniques to relieve anxiety comes from a study conducted at the University of Michigan.
Talking to yourself in the third person
Talking to ourselves in the third person, using the pronouns “she” or “he,” or our name, can help us combat anxiety and improve our performance in stressful situations, such as when we have to give a speech in public or want to make a good impression at a job interview.
How is it possible?
When we refer to ourselves in the third person, instead of using the classic “I”, we can take distance, we establish a space between the “I” that observes and reflects and the “I” that lets itself be invaded by anxiety. This simple change in discourse allows us to see the situation with more perspective so we can face it more as a challenge than as an obstacle.
In the study in question, people were asked to imagine a situation in which they would not feel comfortable, which would cause them a lot of anxiety. Their level of anxiety was then assessed and they were asked to write down the thoughts that came to mind.
They were then given different statements to help them manage their anxiety, which they had to repeat in their minds. Examples include: “I will think about something else,” “Facing this situation will make me feel good,” or “I will do well.” The trick was that some participants had to repeat these statements in the first person and others in the third person.
Thus, psychologists were able to observe that those who maintained an internal dialogue in the third person reduced their anxiety levels.
The power of internal dialogue
Small changes in the language we use to refer to ourselves can have a decisive influence on our ability to regulate our thoughts, emotions and behaviors in stressful situations.
It’s not just about little motivational phrases like “you can do it” but about fully exploiting the power of self-talk. In fact, a meta-analysis that collected more than a dozen studies concluded that self-instructions are a very effective technique for relieving anxiety and dealing with worries.
Self-instructions are nothing more than those comments we make in our mind when we have to face a complicated or new task. In stressful or anxiety-provoking situations, if we direct our internal dialogue well we can:
- Concentrate our attention, focusing on the important elements of the activity.
- Regulate the effort we make by making decisions about what we should do, how and when.
- Managing emotional reactions to setbacks.
So, the next time you experience anxiety or nervousness, engage your inner dialogue. And be sure to refer to yourself in the third person. It’s a way to tap into your inner coach.
References:
Kross, E. et. Al. (2014) Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ; 106(2): 304-324.
Hatzigeorgiadis, A. et. Al. (2011) Self-Talk and Sports Performance. A Meta-Analysis. science ; 6(4): 348-356.
