Are you anxious about making choices? It’s your decision-making style that’s to blame, and here’s how to fix it

In everyday life, we make decisions all the time, from what to eat or what clothes to wear to how to handle a difficult situation at work or whether to take the next step in a relationship. However, for some people this process is much more stressful than for others. Why do some people find it easier to make decisions than others? Science has the answer.

There are 2 decision-making styles: Which one is yours?

We don’t all make decisions in the same way. Some people don’t choose until they see the big picture clearly, others prefer to focus on the details. However, broadly speaking, there are two main categories or “algorithms” of thinking that lead us in one direction or another:

1. Evaluation-oriented decision making. These people obsess over finding a single “truth” and doing things the “right way.” If you’ve ever thought that you’d “rather be right than happy” or worried excessively about doing the “right” thing, you likely follow this path when it comes to decision making.
2. Action-oriented decision making. These people focus on movement and change, so they make decisions quickly and get to work. While the person with an evaluating style is still thinking and weighing options, the action-oriented person is already halfway there.

Of course, both styles of decision-making have their pros and cons. However, a chronic tendency towards one of them, discarding the other, generates different attitudes towards the decision-making process itself, making it easier or turning it into a real headache.

The obsession with not making mistakes torpedoes your decisions

Researchers from Columbia University and Nanyang Technological University analyzed the emotional states generated by both decision-making styles to evaluate which is more effective.

In one of their experiments, they asked participants to choose a gift for one of their friends from a clothing catalogue. They found that evaluation-oriented people were more likely to experience negative emotions when choosing the gift and also rated the decision as more difficult, compared to action-oriented people.

In another experiment, brides were asked to recall their experiences planning and making decisions for their wedding. Those with an evaluative tendency reported feeling more worried about making mistakes in their choices for their big day and rated the experience as more difficult, compared to those who focused on action.

Interestingly, they found the same pattern in political decisions when voting or even making a simple to-do list. People with an evaluative tendency always felt more distressed.

The reason?

Making decisions seems to be more distressing when we worry too much about taking the right path. When we worry about failing, the process of choosing becomes overwhelming, which causes us great emotional stress.

This phenomenon puts us in a vicious circle: the more important it is for us to avoid making mistakes, the more difficult it becomes to decide, which in turn increases the anxiety and stress we experience. Everything becomes confusing and it becomes even more difficult for us to decide.

Which decision-making style is best?

The ideal, as always in life, is to find a balance. This way we can respond in the most adaptive way possible, depending on the circumstances. These researchers provide a couple of important guidelines, as they discovered that:

• When it comes to everyday decisions – such as choosing what to eat, what movie to watch or where to go on vacation – the action-oriented decision-making style is better. Not only because it is faster, but because it demands fewer psychological resources and, in the end, we are likely to be satisfied with whatever decisions we have made since they are not as momentous or life-changing.
• When it comes to important or risky decisions – such as financial investments, a job change, a move or a marriage – the evaluation-oriented style is better because it eliminates impulsive decisions from the equation. It allows us to calmly weigh the pros and cons in order to choose the path we feel most comfortable with, that we identify with or that allows us to continue to grow.

So, if you have a tendency to ruminate and turn things around, you should work on accepting imperfection and understanding that mistakes are part of the learning and growth process. Psychological techniques such as mindfulness meditation promote acceptance and the reduction of internal judgment, so they can be helpful in moderating these worries.

Philosopher Henri-Frédéric Amiel wrote that “the man who tries to see everything clearly before deciding, never decides.” So shifting your approach to decision-making by embracing more flexible thinking, where you don’t see the “right choices” as absolute, can also reduce stress and increase your sense of control.

It is also important to free yourself from the idea that you must always be right, recognizing that the decision-making process is just one of the many facets of a much richer and more complex life.

And if you make a mistake, remember that you can almost always go back. Few things in life are permanent.

Source:

Chen, C. Y. et. Al. (2018) Feeling Distressed From Making Decisions: Assessors’ Need to Be Right. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 115(4): 743-761.