The dictatorship of reason

Always wanting to be right can be the starting point of many problems and generally arises from deep insecurity. In fact, this attitude is more related to power than to reason since it does not really belong to anyone. There is no absolute reason but rather different ways of reasoning. This implies that everyone has their share of reason.

Obviously, there may be more valid reasoning than others, depending on the context or the reasons offered to confirm them. However, regardless of the culture, it is usually very difficult to determine what is the most reasonable since what seems fair and appropriate to us at one moment, later it is no longer so.

So why do some people always want to be right?

Those who want to be right at all costs usually start from the idea that the truth is something that is possessed. Therefore, they have a black and white perspective on matters, they believe that you have the truth or you don’t have it, they do not understand that sometimes the truth is constructed, based on reasons.

What this type of person seeks is not to propose the best reasons but to silence other ideas that do not fit theirs. These people experience discussions as true pitched confrontations where the objective is not to reach an understanding but to make their criteria prevail, regardless of whether it is the most constructive or not.

These people adhere to immutable truths, are not able to evaluate their own arguments but take them for granted and even get upset if others are skeptical. With this attitude, what they do is protect themselves from ideas that can shake their convictions, they feel safe and hide their fear.

To agree with them or not to agree with them? That’s the dilemma

You probably know one of those people who always wants to be right and you have surely experienced that feeling of helplessness that you feel when swimming against the current. Therefore, perhaps at some point you have given in by saying the magic phrase: “Okay, you’re right.” Have you done well or should you have stood firm in your arguments?

First of all, it is important to point out that people who always want to be right are, essentially, very intolerant and intransigent. Normally they do not have open thinking but rather live in their world of “reasons”. Therefore, these people actually harm themselves more than others because they isolate themselves and refuse to value different perspectives, visions of the world that could perhaps make them happier.

What can we do? You can try to explain your reasons, ask him to put himself in your shoes and explain that you don’t want to win but just tell him what you think. However, if you see that your strategy is not working, it is better not to insist too much because it is time and effort wasted. It is better to close the discussion with a phrase like: “I see that we have different ideas and that we cannot reach an agreement, so there is no point in continuing to talk about the topic.”