We’ve all felt anxiety at some point. We’ve experienced that feeling of unease and anguish that gnaws at us from within, racing our thoughts and making us fear the worst at every turn. The apprehension that accompanies us for days, preventing us from concentrating, and that knots in our stomach or grows heavier until it feels like a weight on our chest.
In fact, anxiety is becoming the silent epidemic of our time. The World Health Organization recognizes it as the most common mental disorder, affecting 4.4% of the population. However, in psychological consultations, a different story sometimes emerges, revealing that what appears to be anxiety is actually repressed anger.
When anger is not allowed
In our culture, anger has a bad reputation. From a young age, we’re taught that it’s wrong to get angry. We’re given the idea that getting angry is equivalent to losing control, looking for trouble, or even being a “bad person.”
Instead, calmness, a polite smile, and self-control are praised, even if that “control” means swallowing what bothers and offends. The implicit message is clear: “Getting angry is wrong, expressing that anger is even worse.”
The problem is that emotions don’t have an on/off switch. They don’t disappear because we decide to ignore them or think they’re inappropriate. Anger that isn’t expressed doesn’t evaporate; it accumulates. And when it can’t find an outlet, it seeks other ways to manifest itself. One of the most common is anxiety.
Anger and anxiety: two sides of the same neuropsychological circuit
From a psychophysiological perspective, anger and anxiety trigger the same response: they activate the sympathetic nervous system. They increase heart rate, accelerate breathing, and prepare the body for action. Both activate the fight-or-flight response.
The difference between anxiety and anger, therefore, lies not so much in the physiological systems involved, as in the direction of the energy.
- Anger pushes outwards: it drives us to set boundaries, defend ourselves, or say “Enough is enough!”
- Anxiety turns inward: it pushes us to anticipate, ruminate, control, or avoid.
When anger cannot be expressed because it is frowned upon or we cannot release it for any other reason, that psychological energy remains blocked. In other words, the fight-or-flight response remains activated, but without any possible action.
The result is a state of chronic activation without release, which becomes the perfect breeding ground for anxiety.
The cost of suppressing anger: “calm” people living in constant alert
Inhibiting negative emotions does not reduce physiological arousal; on the contrary, it maintains and even intensifies it, according to researchers at Stanford University. In other words, appearing calm on the outside does not mean being calm on the inside.
Attempts to suppress anger actually increase sensitivity to pain because they amplify the perception of the irritating and frustrating qualities of suffering, as another experiment published in the journal Emotion found.
Over time, this sustained physiological and emotional activation translates into well-known symptoms:
- Constant muscle tension
- Irritability “for no apparent reason”
- Emotional fatigue
- Feeling of always being “on guard”
It’s no coincidence that many people describe their anxiety to me by saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m always tense” or “I’m always on edge, like something bad is about to happen.” When you explore this further, a story often emerges of crossed boundaries, ignored needs, and pent-up anger that never found the right words to express itself.
Therefore, it’s not surprising that one of the most common profiles of someone with anxiety is that of a seemingly calm, responsible, and agreeable person. Someone who avoids conflict, adapts, and understands everyone… except themselves. They don’t shout, explode, or get “really” angry. Or rather, it’s not that they don’t get angry, it’s that they don’t allow themselves to express it. That’s why they live with a silent anxiety.
Science confirms what is seen in psychological consultations almost daily. A study conducted at the University Hospital Bonn found that people with social anxiety disorder also tend to have high levels of anger as a trait.
How does suppressed anger turn into anxiety?
Suppressing anger is associated with greater psychological distress. Researchers in Tokyo found that suppressing anger is directly related to increased perceived stress and anxiety.
Obviously, the transformation of anger into anxiety is not usually a conscious process. Nobody wakes up one day thinking, “I’m going to turn my anger into anxiety.” What happens is more subtle:
- Something is bothering or hurting
- Getting angry “is not an option”
- Emotion is inhibited
- The body remains activated
- Unease, worry, and tension appear
Over time, you forget the original anger and only recognize the anxiety. Thus, the emotional cause remains buried under layers of repression.
Channeling anger to release anxiety
A word of caution: not all anxiety stems from repressed anger. “Pure and simple” anxiety exists, too. But understanding that some anxiety might be caused by suppressed anger can radically change how you deal with it.
It’s no longer just about relaxing, taking deep breaths, meditating, or trying to quiet that anxious mind, but about reconnecting with legitimate emotions you silenced at some point. It’s about broadening your perspective to see beyond what supposedly triggers your anxiety.
It’s about understanding that anxiety isn’t always a sign of weakness; sometimes it’s pent-up strength. And learning to listen to that strength, put it into words, and give it a healthy outlet could be one of the most important steps you take toward your emotional well-being.
When that happens, when anger is finally recognized, the functions of anger are fully understood , and one learns to listen to it and channel it, many people experience something surprising: anxiety decreases, even if they do not work on it directly.
And the fact is, not everything is anxiety (and that’s good news).
References:
Conrad, R. et. Al. (2021) Significance of anger suppression and preoccupied attachment in social anxiety disorder: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychiatry; 21(1): 116.
Yamaguchi, A. et. Al. (2015) Effects of anger regulation and social anxiety on perceived stress. Health Psychol Open; 2(2): 2055102915601583.
Quartana, P. J. & Burns, J. W. (2007) Painful Consequences of Anger Suppression. Emotion; 7(2): 400-414.
Gross, J. J. & Levenson, R. W. (1997) Hiding feelings: The acute effects of inhibiting negative and positive emotion. Journal of Abnormal Psychology; 106(1): 95–103.
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