It was 1914, at approximately 5:30 p.m. on December 10, when an explosion occurred in West Orange, New Jersey. Ten buildings at the legendary inventor Thomas Edison’s plant were engulfed in flames.
The fire department responded immediately, but because the lab’s chemicals fueled the fire, it took a long time to extinguish. The damage was extensive: the property had lost an estimated value of $23 million today, and the flames had consumed years of work on various inventions and prototypes.
However, the inventor reacted with astonishing equanimity. According to his son, Charles Edison, he calmly approached him as he watched the flames destroy years of effort.
Then Edison said to his son:
– Go find your mother and all her friends, they will never see a fire like this again.
Charles was dismayed, but Edison calmed him down:
– Don’t worry, we just got rid of a lot of junk.
Later, at the scene of the fire, Edison was interviewed by The New York Times. He told the reporter:
– I’m over 67, but I’ll start over tomorrow.
In fact, the next day he began rebuilding what he called his “invention factory.”
Edison could have reacted differently, but instead of collapsing, despairing, and becoming depressed, he decided to deal with what had happened in the best way possible. After just three weeks, thanks to a loan, he managed to get part of the plant up and running. The following year, Edison and his team earned nearly $10 million.
Don’t react, respond
This incredible story teaches us a great lesson about emotional resilience, but above all, it teaches us that sometimes it’s all a matter of attitude. We have no control over many of the things that happen to us, but we can control our reactions.
People capable of great things must also be able to stoically endure tragedy and setbacks. One of their secrets is that they don’t react to circumstances but respond assertively.
A person who simply reacts to what happens will live on an emotional roller coaster, always at the mercy of circumstances. When things are going well, they’ll be happy, but the slightest obstacle will demoralize or anger them. Such a person lacks self-control.
On the contrary, the person who responds is able to regulate their initial impulses, reflect, and then decide on the best strategy. This is not a cold person, but someone with great Emotional Intelligence, aware that allowing emotions to take control only makes things worse.
The 5 basic skills to develop emotional resilience
1. Emotional management. To respond assertively, it is essential to have a strong emotional self-awareness. It is important to be able to detect emotions as soon as they arise and counteract their impact with logic. We all display emotional reactions when faced with adversity; the secret lies in balancing them and seeking more effective and adaptive patterns of thought and action. This will help us keep things in perspective and avoid the mistake of focusing only on the negative. This way, we will be able to see the opportunity in the crisis.
2. Self-confidence. People who act, rather than react, tend to have great confidence in their abilities. These people have typically built themselves up by experiencing many setbacks throughout their lives. In these situations, they have put their strength and emotional resilience to the test. They have a positive self-image and know that, no matter what happens, everything will pass. This certainty gives them the strength they need to keep going.
3. Sense of humor. A sense of humor is an essential pillar of emotional resilience. Resilient people, who take control of the situation, are able to maintain a smile in the midst of adversity. Furthermore, they often have an intelligent and sharp sense of humor that allows them to laugh at themselves. These people are able to find the absurd or incoherent in the most negative situations and laugh about it. This way, they reduce the drama and are able to analyze the situation from a more objective perspective.
4. Radical acceptance. Emotionally resilient people have an internal locus of control, which means they take responsibility for their actions and exercise control over their lives. However, they avoid victimhood and are fully aware that many things are beyond their control. Understanding the difference between what they can control and what they can’t allows them to focus their psychological resources more effectively.
5. Planning. Sometimes adversity blocks us. The emotional impact is so great that we feel overwhelmed; we simply don’t know how to respond or what to do. In these cases, planning skills will allow us to cope with any difficulty: we will be able to prioritize and, above all, we will understand that we need to take small steps that will lead us to the solution, without despairing along the way. It’s true that the first step doesn’t take us directly to where we want to be, but at least it gets us out of the current situation of stagnation.
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