In recent centuries, schools have basically become a reservoir of information, a mere instrument for transmitting the knowledge that humanity has accumulated over time. Thus, at school we learn Mathematics and Physics, Geography and History, but they do not transmit to us the really important learnings, they do not prepare us for life.
In fact, school often becomes simply an instrument for limiting our minds. Instead of fostering independent thought and the search for knowledge, it becomes a series of recipes made up of ancient laws and theorems that we must learn by heart. In this way, we risk losing some of our most valuable abilities, such as creativity and imagination.
And while we learn theorems and decimals, while we develop logical thinking, some of our most important abilities are neglected. It is as if we hired a gardener and he only pruned the plants, forgetting that they also need to be watered, fed and protected. By following this strategy, it is very unlikely that the garden will grow and prosper, at best it will be able to survive.
Schools should open new windows through which to see the world, not close them
1. Negotiate. In conventional schools there is practically no room for negotiation; it is the teacher who decides everything. In this way, the idea is conveyed that there are winners and losers, people who command and others who must abide by the rules without question. So it is not strange that when we are adults, we approach interpersonal relationships in terms of win/lose. However, the ability to negotiate is essential, and not only to obtain a discount on the price but, fundamentally, to be able to relate and avoid social friction. There is one skill that could save us a lot of anger and headaches: learning to focus on common points, instead of increasing differences.
2. Follow a passion. One of the watchwords of school, and also one of the ones we hear the most throughout our life as students is: “duty.” We are taught from a young age that there are things that must be done, even if we don’t like them. In this way, they completely kill our sense of happiness, making us believe that duty is at odds with pleasure. Therefore, it is not strange that there are millions of people doing a job they don’t like and living a life that doesn’t satisfy them. Nobody taught us that when you find your passion, that which really motivates you and you know how to do well, sooner or later it will end up becoming your job and a huge source of satisfaction.
3. Embrace mistakes. Schools penalize mistakes harshly, conveying the idea that making mistakes is not okay. Grades do not take into account effort or the person, only the successes and mistakes made. After several years, it is not unusual for us to end up feeling a real aversion to mistakes. In fact, some people are even unable to move forward because the fear of making mistakes has crushed their motivation. However, in real life, most learning comes through trial and error; we must make mistakes in order to learn. Therefore, mistakes simply indicate that we are one step closer to achieving our goal, because we have discarded a path. Mistakes are learning experiences that allow us to grow, not heavy stones that we must drag around to generate feelings of guilt.
4. Managing emotions. Society, as a whole, does not teach us how to manage emotions, but rather how to hide or repress them. By classifying emotions as positive or negative, desired or unwanted, we assume that something is wrong with us when we get angry and irritated, or when we feel sad. The demonization of some emotions and the exaltation of Positive Psychology have made many people feel inadequate. However, emotions are part of us and are neither positive nor negative, they are simply indicators and, as such, we must accept them. The important thing is not the emotional reaction, which in many cases is automatic, but how we subsequently manage that anger or sadness. Recognizing our emotions and knowing how to channel them is an essential skill that very few people manage to develop but that will determine our entire life.
5. Dealing with adversity. Sooner or later, adversity will knock on our door. When it does, it is better to be prepared. However, no one has taught us to face problems with a good face or told us that every crisis also contains an opportunity. Resilience is an essential ability to avoid breaking down and to emerge stronger from problems, but it is something we learn at random, after receiving life’s blows. However, it has been observed that people who perceive problems as opportunities to grow from the outset, face obstacles better. In fact, a study carried out at King’s College Hospital in London revealed that, under the same clinical conditions, people who face cancer with a fatalistic and helpless attitude have a worse prognosis than those who show a fighting spirit and behave in a resilient manner.
6. Self-motivation. Schools encourage us to use willpower. However, no one has ever told us that it is a limited resource. A very interesting experiment carried out at the University of Ultrech shows us this. In this case, they subjected some people who were on a diet to exhausting psychological tests, which required a great deal of willpower and self-control. Afterwards, they were given different foods to choose from. Those who had exhausted their willpower chose the most caloric options, those who took the simpler tests opted for the healthiest foods. Therefore, rather than relying on self-control and willpower, it is advisable to learn to self-motivate, to find good reasons that help us stay on track, especially when it is uphill.
7. Finding balance. School teaches us to strive, to work hard to get better grades. However, it doesn’t teach us how to balance the rest of the spheres of our lives, to feel more satisfied. So it’s not strange that there are people who are completely dedicated to work, who have no free time and who neglect their families. When we don’t have a sense of balance, we don’t know how to prioritize and we run the risk of neglecting precisely the areas that can bring us the most satisfaction. However, living a balanced life is an essential skill to achieve happiness, to develop our full potential. Otherwise, we become a sad and limited version of what we could have been.
8. Feel gratitude. Gratitude is a well-kept secret, it is one of the paths that leads us directly to happiness, although most people underestimate it. When we are able to experience gratitude and express it, we are much happier. It is not just about saying thank you when someone does us a favor, which is what we are taught in school, but about actively looking for reasons to feel grateful. It is about learning to focus on what we have, rather than complaining about what we do not have, learning to value the small things and feeling grateful for them.
9. Value time. Time is the most valuable asset we have, but curiously, it is also something we get rid of with astonishing ease. Of course, it is easy to forget the value of time when we go to school every day, where we learn content that does not interest us and that has no practical applications. However, when we start to think in terms of time, our lives can take a radical turn, since we are able to give each thing its proper measure. Knowing how to organize time and plan our day to day is one of the most important skills we can develop throughout our lives, but it all starts with being aware of the enormous importance and value of time.
10. Discovering yourself. Over the years, we play different social roles, becoming friends, parents, professionals, neighbors… In this way, it is easy to lose our identity, to forget what our dreams and aspirations were. In fact, it is not unusual for one of the social roles we play day after day to end up growing so much that it takes over our “self”, weakening and silencing it. However, to live fully, it is necessary to be in tune with that most intimate “self”, which continues to caress passions and be amazed by life. If we lose that “self”, if we let social roles atrophy it and dictate what we should do, we will simply be digging our own grave.
References:
Witt, J. C.; Evers, C. & Ridder, D. T. (2012) License to sin: Self-licensing as a mechanism underlying hedonic consumption. European Journal of Social Psychology; 42(4): 490-496.
Taylor, S. E.; Lichtman, R.R. & Wood, J.V. (1984) Attributions, beliefs about control and adjustment to breast cancer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 46: 489-502.
Bebeisous33 says
Your perception of „school“ is not reflecting reality. Let me give you an example. Teachers don’t decide about everything, quite the opposite. We have to follow programs made by the States/politicians. Secondly, in Europe (I would even say in Western Societies), parents can easily sue teachers and put pressure on schools so that in the end students have more rights than teachers. IT has come so far that students even evaluate teachers‘ work. Feedback culture is a huge phenomenon here. As for the lack of motivation, it comes from the environment. People don‘t see nowadays schools as a place to learn, but as an annoying duty forgetting that 150 years ago, children would have been happy to be sent to school and not work. Back then, it was a privilege, now it is viewed as a service“, where the students are more or less clients. Effort is no longer rewarded, quite the opposite. Students complain when it becomes difficult and give up easily. Test is not there to outline mistakes, but to grasp how well the lesson was understood. Besides, they only learn for the tests, but not for themselves. As you can imagine, I am a teacher, and I have always loved school, but I have to admit that work has become much harder in the last 5 years. For me, the answer is: We are living in a World „To Have“ and not „To Be“. That‘s why people have a negative notion of school. It is just a way how to perceive school.