Going to therapy isn’t always easy, especially at first. You may feel lost and unsure of what to say, how to start, or even wonder if you’re “doing it right.” The truth is, there’s no manual on how to talk to a therapist or navigate your first session with a psychologist. There are no forbidden topics. The important thing is to be present and willing to explore what’s inside you.
However, therapy can have a huge impact on your life. And, like any important endeavor, a little preparation before you walk through the door can make all the difference, or at least get you off to a good start. Taking a few minutes to reflect before the session will allow you to focus on what truly matters to you. Whether it’s your first session with a psychologist or you’ve been in therapy for a while, thinking ahead about what you’d like to talk about can pave the way for faster progress and more conscious growth.
What to do the first time you go to the psychologist? Keys to preparing
Having a mental map in advance will serve as a starting point. Instead of coming up empty or not knowing where to begin, you’ll already have a rough idea of what you want to address. It’s like carrying an emotional compass.
Clarify your goals for therapy
Before going to a psychologist, it’s important to ask yourself: What do I want to get out of this? Maybe you’re looking for tools to deal with stress or anxiety. Or maybe you need to process things from the past. Some people go to a psychologist for help with personal growth, while others need support to get through a difficult time in their life.
Being clear about what you’re looking for will help you build a path with your therapist. In fact, various studies have shown that when people define their goals before beginning therapy, they feel more committed and motivated—two key ingredients for a successful process. It’s normal for these goals to change, but starting with a general idea will give more meaning to the therapeutic process.
If you’re undecided, the first session is like a first meeting—no pressure, just an opportunity to share what’s bothering you and see if you’re a good fit with the therapist. They’ll likely ask you about your life, what’s been affecting you lately, and what you expect from therapy. It’s also an opportunity to assess whether you feel comfortable talking with the professional. This will reduce initial nerves and better prepare you for future sessions.
Review your emotions and thoughts
Take a moment to look within: How have I been feeling lately? Perhaps anxiety has been with you for a while, or you feel sad, lost, or even emotionally disconnected. Detecting this emotional pattern will give your therapist clues about how you’re feeling and where to focus the conversation.
And your thoughts? Are there ideas that keep recurring? Maybe you’re constantly thinking about a specific situation. Observing these mental loops will help you identify important issues that deserve attention. Jotting down some thoughts or emotions before your first session with the psychologist could help you express them when the time comes.
Identify the challenges or concerns you are carrying
We all face difficulties, and therapy is the ideal space to address them. Think about what’s affecting you most right now: problems at work, complicated relationships, low self-esteem, past traumas… The clearer you are about this, the easier it will be to address it in that first session.
It’s also helpful to review how you’re dealing with these challenges. Are my current coping mechanisms helping me or are they actually making things more difficult? If you tend to brush problems under the rug, fall into harmful habits, or have a tendency to bottle things up, therapy could help you find healthier and more assertive ways to cope. Being honest about what you’re struggling with will open the door to new psychological tools.
Reflect on your attitude toward therapy
Your approach to therapy will also influence the results. So, ask yourself: Am I willing to question some of my beliefs or patterns? Therapy works best when you’re open to looking at things from a different perspective, even if it’s a little uncomfortable. If you feel resistance or insecurity, try to understand where they come from. Are you afraid of being judged? Are you afraid of unearthing deep traumas?
Knowing how comfortable you are or how much time you’re willing to dedicate to the therapeutic process also helps you find an approach that best suits your expectations and needs. In fact, a meta-analysis showed that when treatment is tailored to a patient’s preferences, the likelihood of improvement increases by 58%. Discussing these details from the beginning can strengthen your relationship with your therapist and make things go more smoothly.
And what are your expectations? Some people look for quick fixes, while others believe change is almost impossible. The reality is that therapy isn’t miraculous or instantaneous; it’s more of a gradual process. Keeping that in mind and being patient with yourself will help you stay focused on the process, and over time, you’ll begin to see results.
Review if anything important has happened in your life lately.
Major changes can be disorienting or even trigger an emotional tsunami. Perhaps you’ve experienced a breakup, lost your job, or experienced a serious family conflict. Even if they’re not your main concern, these events could be affecting your mood without you realizing it. Therefore, it’s worth mentioning them in your first session with your psychologist.
You might also think about past events that you thought were over but have resurfaced, such as an old feeling of guilt or a latent conflict. Therapy is the ideal place to revisit these issues if they continue to plague your mind. Sometimes, simply getting them out on the table frees up emotional space.
Enter with a clear intention for the session
Going in with an intention in mind can help you focus on expressing what’s bothering you. Therefore, reflect on: What do I need from this specific session? Are you looking for advice on a specific situation, or do you just want to let it all out and see what happens? Having a clear direction helps the session take the direction you really need.
Do you have questions for your therapist? Maybe you want to better understand an emotion that’s bothering you or learn to communicate more effectively. Remember that therapy is a team effort; psychologists are there to listen and help you discover what’s not working so you can change it, so don’t be shy.
Final notes
Preparing for your first session with a psychologist doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to torture yourself with questions like, “What should I do the first time I see a psychologist?” or “What’s the first session like?” But it’s a good idea to do a little preparation.
All it takes is a few minutes to review how you’re feeling, what’s bothering you, and what you want to achieve. Therapy is a powerful tool for getting to know yourself better, so a little preparation beforehand could help you get even more out of it.
However, don’t forget that therapy doesn’t provide immediate results, even if you emerge from a session feeling lighter. It’s a process in which every session counts, even if the progress sometimes seems small. Treat yourself kindly, stay open, and trust that each step brings you closer to the change you want to see.
References:
Tryon, G. S., & Winograd, G. (2011) Goal consensus and collaboration. Psychotherapy; 48(1): 50–57.
Swift, J. K., & Callahan, J. L. (2009) The impact of client treatment preferences on outcome: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology; 65(4): 368–381.
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