Life is not easy. Things are not always as we expect or want. Our plans can be twisted at any moment and then frustration ensues. The sooner we accept it, the better is.
However, life holds also wonderful moments, joys and surprises that are worthwhile. The key to not losing the emotional balance is to fill our backpack with tools for life, so that we can better cope with the difficult times and develop the right disposition to enjoy the good ones. Thus, these hard but realistic quotes become small doses of resilience.
Hard but realistic quotes that will help you to be more resilient
- “Reality is that which, even when you stop believing in it, continues to exist and does not disappear” – Philip K. Dick
This writer of science fiction was not famous for his excessive optimism, but he left us a very true quote: reality does not fold to our expectations, so it does not make sense to close our eyes and deny it. It is better to practice radical acceptance and move on.
- “We can evade reality, but we can not evade the consequences of evading reality” – Ayn Rand
This philosopher who defended the rational egoism alerts us of the consequences of denying reality, looking the other way. In the long run, it is a maladaptive strategy because events take their course and, sooner or later, we will have to deal with them. The problem is that the longer we take to find solutions to problems, the more they will grow and the deeper will be their ramifications.
- “You don’t have to do anything; that’s a choice, too. Just know there are consequences in your choices”- Andrea Owen
Among all the possible decisions, we can decide not to do anything. It is a valid way out when we are confused, but it should not become a common coping strategy since also evasion has its consequences. And while we can decide to sit idly by, we can not escape the consequences of the path we have chosen. Is it in our hands to take the reins of our life or let the circumstances decide for us.
- “The catastrophe that worries you so much is often less horrible in reality than it was in your imagination” Wayne W. Dyer
Many times, our thinking becomes our worst enemy. Faced with a problem, the thought takes on a life of its own and begins to imagine the worst possible scenarios, generating great uneasiness and anxiety. However, this realistic quote reminds us that many times these negative recurring thoughts do us more harm than facing reality.
- “The hard truth is that the more you get stuck in your story blaming for your circumstances, the more you will repeat that story and the more you will cling to it” – Andrea Owen
This hard quote confronts us with our tendency to look for culprits and get stuck in the loop of complaints. This attitude will cause the problems we complain to be repeated constantly, acquiring different forms, simply because we are producing them ourselves.
- “Life can only be understood by looking back, but you can only live by looking forward” – Soren Kierkegaard
One of Soren Kierkegaard’s most interesting phrases invites us to reflect on the importance of making peace with our past in order to understand how we have reached a certain point in our life and, from there, to focus on the future. We can not get very far if we look continuously back.
- “I learned that you can not turn back, that the essence of life is to go forward. Life, in reality, is a one-way road”- Agatha Christie
This hard but realistic quote reminds us that it does not make sense to live with our eyes fixed on the past because many of the mistakes we made can no longer be corrected. However, we can learn the lesson so as not to make these mistakes again.
- “No matter how bad things get, you can always make them worse” – Randy Pausch
Sometimes we complain about the circumstances, simply because they did not flow according to our wishes, without realizing that everything could get even worse. In fact, our negative attitude, stubbornness or obstinacy is often what creates new obstacles and prevents us from solving problems.
- “The reason why people find it so difficult to be happy is because they always remember the past better than it was, see the present worse than it is and think that the future will be more complicated than it will be” – Marcel Pagnol
This French novelist gives us a hard quote that portrays us perfectly. Many times it is us, in our mind and with our attitude, who create the problems or make them worse, thinking that all past time was better and that the future will not bring us anything positive. However, that tendency to retrotopy, as Zygmunt Bauman called it, is the most direct path to dissatisfaction.
- “We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are”- Inmanuel Kant
This very true phrase of the idealist philosopher puts the focus on us, inviting us to take responsibility for our thoughts and reactions. Although we complain about life and circumstances, the truth is that everything happens through the sieve of our emotions, expectations, beliefs and thoughts, so many times we are the ones who create a storm in a teacup. Being aware of them will allow us to assume a more balanced perspective.
- “Uncertainty is the only certainty that exists. Learning how to live with insecurity is the only security we can achieve”- John Allen Paulos
This hard but realistic quote that we often refuse to accept speaks to us of the illusion of security with which we surround ourselves, and how this prevents us from developing the necessary tools to deal with uncertainty and insecurity, which are the only two constants in our life. Everything can change instantly in our lives, it does not make sense to cling to securities that can disappear. It makes more sense to prepare ourselves for the changes and possible eventualities that, sooner or later, will knock to our door.
- “If you do not like where you are, move, you are not a tree” – Jim John
This realistic phrase hits with its simplicity, so it can practically become a mantra for difficult times. It alerts us of our tendency to stay trapped in a comfort zone where we are not happy but everything is known. Sometimes it is only necessary to get enough courage to get out of that situation and everything will improve.
- “Seek a light instead of eternally cursing the darkness” – Chinese Proverb
This realistic pearl of Chinese wisdom also encourages us to take charge of our lives, stop crying over spilled milk to assume a proactive attitude and fight for what we really want.
- “Every time you choose security, you are reinforcing a fear” – Cheri Huber
The transformation and growth are outside the comfort zone. However, every time we bet on security, that we choose the known path because it is the most comfortable, we are reinforcing a fear. In this way we run the risk of restricting more and more the circle in which we move, limiting ourselves.
- “Every man dies. But not every man really lives” – William Ross Wallace
This poet alerts us of a truth that sometimes we do not want to recognize: every minute that passes is one minute less left ahead of us. We can do something with our life or we can live dying slowly, condemning ourselves to the circle of our certainties, where nothing changes and nothing grows.
- “In the end, it does not matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away” – Shing Xiong
This hard but realistic quote reminds us that you do not have to count the days, but make each day count. In the end, we will not remember the routine but the moments in which we vibrated, those moments that took our breath away and that remained marked in our life history.
- “You need to spend time crawling alone in the shadows to truly appreciate the value to stand in the sun” – Shaun Hick
In Buddhism, the shadows and the sun are one thing seen from different perspectives and essential for us to assess the contrasts. Although we often complain about adversity, it also helps us even more to value and enjoy the best moments. We can complain when things go wrong, or we can take advantage of them to get experience and achieve that when things go better, they shine much more.
- “You are not in the world to meet the expectations of the others, but you must not expect the world to satisfy yours either” – Fritz Perls
With this hard but realistic quote, the creator of the Gestalt Therapy invites us to reflect on our expectations, which in many cases are our main source of suffering. The more we get rid of expectations, the freer and more balanced we will be because, on the one hand, we will not feel obliged to meet the expectations of the others and, on the other, we will not feel that the world should comply with ours.
- “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is whatyou really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are” – John Wooden
Being concerned about what the others think and try to please everyone, is the most direct way to be unhappy yourself. We must connect with our interior and know what we really want, regardless of social pressures, or we will end up living the life that the others have designed for us.
- “It’s never too late to become the person you want to be” – George Eliot
Finally, a ray of sunshine and hope: it is never too late to change, to see the world more positively, to leave behind a bad habit and develop a potentiality. The decision is in our hands.
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