Sometimes we take life too seriously. We get caught up in trivial things and let them ruin our lives. For example, we have a disagreement at work and it ruins our day, or we arrive for breakfast and the person in front of us takes the last croissant , leaving us in a bad mood for the rest of the day. We also get angry at our partner for trivial reasons, we get angry at the employee on duty if they don’t meet our demands, and we get frustrated if things don’t go as expected.
However, the truth is that we can’t change anyone. Things are the way they are. We only have control over our reactions. We can let other people and situations dictate our emotions, or we can take charge of our lives and consciously decide how to react. After all, remember that how others treat you is their problem; how you react is yours.
To get the best out of yourself, you must learn to go with the flow.
- Don’t take it personally
Remember, this isn’t a personal affront; the universe isn’t conspiring against you. It’s not raining just to ruin your day, and the office worker isn’t trying to make your life miserable; they probably behave this way with everyone. When you understand that it’s not about you, you’ll find everything is easier because you can distance yourself emotionally from the situation and better control your reactions.
- Think about the size of the Universe
We tend to believe we are the center of the world, but if we analyze the universe with perspective, we will realize that we are simply a speck on the scale of space and time. The goal of this reflection is not to belittle ourselves or feel insignificant, but simply to put everything into perspective. When your problems and obstacles seem insurmountable, consider that there are infinite paths you can take to solve them; there is always a solution.
- Step out of the cycle of negativity
When we’re so caught up in our own negativity, when we think we’re having a terrible day or dealing with someone unbearable, sometimes all we need is a little pick-me-up to bring us back to reality. So, the next time you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed, simply put on a song you like and sing it at the top of your lungs—or even better, dance to it. Your problems won’t magically disappear, but breaking that cycle of negativity that haunts your mind will help you calm down and find a solution.
We’ve all experienced situations where we get angry and lose control. However, the more you focus on it, the worse you feel. Remember the rule: whatever you focus on grows. Therefore, if you focus on the negative, on the flaws and worries that lead nowhere, that’s what will grow in your mind. This way, you’ll be seeing the world through a negative lens, and you’ll perceive many situations that actually have a neutral imprint as negative. The key is to change that lens and cultivate a more positive perspective.
- Breathe deeply
We can’t fool ourselves; there are situations that would make even a Buddhist monk lose patience. In those cases, just breathe. When we get angry, irritated, or stressed, a series of physiological changes occur that signal our brain to increase its alertness. As a result, we become more sensitive and irritable, ready to jump at anyone’s throat at the slightest sign of alarm. Diaphragmatic breathing can restore cardiac coherence and calm us down, allowing us to think better.
- Responds differently
A Beatles song said, “All you need is love.” And the truth is, many of the bitter people we encounter in our daily lives often just need a dose of love. So, although our first reaction is to get on their wavelength and respond with aggression or anger, everything can change if we calm down and respond with a smile. Sometimes, responding in the most unexpected way is enough to get that person to change their attitude. In any case, if they don’t, we’ll feel better about ourselves because we’ve managed to maintain control.
- Face the world with a sense of humor
Laughter is the best antidote to negative emotions. In fact, we can only say we’ve truly overcome a fear when we look back and find it funny just because we harbored that fear. When you’re able to find the humor in a situation, it loses its dramatic overtones, and you’ll be able to react with greater fortitude, putting everything in its proper place. Remember that our minds always tend to exaggerate problems and often operate in “catastrophizing mode.”
Consider that your perception mediates the situation you find yourself in. We can’t aspire to be 100% objective because our past experiences, our hopes, and, above all, our expectations determine the meaning we give to the situations we experience. In fact, most of the time we react not to the situations themselves but to the frustration and disappointment we feel because our expectations weren’t met. Be aware that you don’t perceive the world as it really is, but as you want it to be.
- Assume that your emotional balance is not negotiable
Did you know that every little argument, even those sudden outbursts of anger we swallow hard and don’t show, alter our cardiac coherence? And did you know that an irregular heartbeat is a very reliable predictor of a heart attack? So, when you have to face a difficult person or a complicated situation, make this your personal mantra: “My emotional balance is non-negotiable.” Don’t think in terms of wins and losses, of winners and losers, because the most important thing in these situations is that they don’t manage to shatter your inner peace. This leads you to question which fights are worth fighting.
- Give yourself permission to make mistakes
In any case, it’s practically impossible for us to always remain calm and smiling. Excessive self-control can also be exhausting. So, don’t become your own worst judge; give yourself permission to make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up for losing control; instead, look for the causes and learn the lessons. Remember that the goal is to be happier; don’t constantly beat yourself up or assume a hypervigilant attitude that prevents you from enjoying the beauty of the world simply because you’re too busy controlling your reactions.
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