When we consider a change in our daily lives, the first few days are the easiest because we are full of enthusiasm. However, when that initial euphoria begins to subside, the climb becomes steeper. In fact, it is estimated that 8 out of 10 people fall back into their old habits, forgetting their new resolutions.
Changing some habits can be very difficult, especially if they have been with us for years. Why is it so difficult to create new habits and get rid of old ones? Is there a strategy to make the path easier?
What are the most common mistakes that prevent you from building a new habit?
1. Wanting to change too many things at once. The more areas of our life we try to change, the more stressful the journey becomes. In fact, we run the risk of becoming paralyzed halfway through the journey, feeling like we’re jumping out of a plane without a parachute. As a result, we revert to old habits, which our brain perceives as a source of security.
Solution: Pick one keystone habit. Instead of changing a bunch of things, pick one really big, meaningful change. That one change will snowball into more transformations, but you won’t feel overwhelmed. Focus on changing just one habit at a time.
2. Starting with too big a habit. When we set goals that are too ambitious, we run the risk of not achieving them simply because we don’t know where to start or we’re not clear about the path we should follow. The same goes for habits. It’s harder and more stressful to radically change your lifestyle than to start step by step.
Solution: The key is to make it so easy that you can’t say no. For example, if you want to develop the habit of running, don’t start by running 10 kilometers, but just 500 meters. If you want to start practicing mindfulness meditation, don’t aim to dedicate 1 hour to it each day, but just 5 minutes. It’s about planning easy activities that don’t cost you too much. Little by little, you will build the habit.
3. Not changing your environment. The environment in which you operate day after day is essential as it fosters some habits to the detriment of others. Obviously, it is not easy to get rid of certain habits when they are accepted and promoted by the group you frequent.
Solution: Build an environment that encourages the habits you want to develop. For example, if you want to eat healthier, don’t bring junk food into the house so that you won’t be tempted to do so. The point is to surround yourself with an environment that facilitates the habits you want to achieve or at least doesn’t make you fall back into old habits. Remember that it will be harder to quit smoking or drinking if everyone around you is doing it.
4. Focus on results. Knowing how to set objectives is essential when trying to achieve a goal. However, when we try to build new habits, objectives can work against us since we run the risk of focusing more on the results than on the effort. It is normal for us to want our actions to generate achievements, the problem is that objectives in themselves do not lead to results, it is the changes we put into practice that do.
Solution: Focus on rituals, focus on behavior, not results. During the first few days or even weeks, you should strive to create rituals that satisfy you, that can take the place of old habits. Don’t worry or obsess about achievements, these will come almost effortlessly once you have consolidated the new habit.
5. Disdaining small changes. Every journey, no matter how long, has begun with the first step. However, we often set ourselves big goals, forgetting the small steps we need to take to achieve them. However, when it comes to establishing habits, it is the small changes that make the difference.
Solution: Repeating small actions not only creates a habit, but also helps to consolidate it. Therefore, it is what you do every day that brings you closer or further away from your goal. It is better to focus on small achievements, those that allow you to advance just 1% each day. Remember a wise teaching from Confucius: “ It does not matter how slowly you go, if you never stop .”
Reference:
Clear, J. (2014) Five common mistakes that cause new habits to fail. In: James Clear.
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