In a world where opinions abound, giving good advice is a virtually forgotten art. Often what is presented as advice is actually a disguised opinion or, even worse, a recommendation with hidden agendas. Good advice should have the sole objective of helping others, without hidden agendas or personal expectations that push the person in a direction that does not suit them.
The 7 rules for giving good advice
In “Leviathan,” Thomas Hobbes devoted an entire chapter to analyzing how to give good advice, recommendations that do not fall on deaf ears but are truly useful and make a difference. The political philosopher believed that the duty of the counselor is not to consider his own benefit, but that of the person he advises. He believed that he should go beyond his pretensions, interests and expectations to focus on the other, assuming as impartial a position as possible.
1. Forget about self-interest
Self-serving advice is not good advice. Hobbes argued that it is essential to avoid any personal bias, as well as to keep emotions at bay, “avoiding all metaphorical discourses, tending to excite passion” that can lead to hasty decisions. He recommended leaving aside ego and self-interest in order to put oneself entirely in the other person’s shoes. Therefore, good advice is that in which we leave our “self” to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.
2. Emphasize the consequences
Hobbes strongly advocated an approach based on logic and foresight. He believed that in order to give good advice it is essential to look beyond the immediacy and assess the long-term implications of decisions. For this reason, advice must be loaded with a good dose of foresight. In this way, it is possible to overcome the superficial and the instantaneous, helping the person to see beyond the problem or conflict that afflicts them, so that they can assess the possible outcomes and repercussions of their decisions.
3. Give reasons
Since giving good advice is not easy, Hobbes warned against the tendency to make “hasty and non-evident inferences” or to give mere opinions. For this philosopher, good advice is that which is supported by clear and rational arguments, not by vague or impulsive opinions. He encouraged avoiding arbitrariness and haste, even with the best of “good intentions,” in order to adopt a more reflective and objective approach, far from the biases and distortions that lead to bad decisions.
4. Encourage independence
Good advice moves away from mandates, urgings, or self-serving suggestions in order to encourage a person to form his or her own judgment. In Hobbesian philosophy, good advice is that which neither imposes nor suggests a decision, but rather empowers a person to inform and weigh the pros and cons for themselves, so that they can make an informed choice. This type of advice, therefore, promotes autonomy, a sense of self-efficacy , and personal responsibility, helping a person feel more confident in making decisions in the future.
5. Brevity and clarity
Another Hobbesian principle for giving good advice is to “avoid obscure, confusing, and ambiguous expressions.” The philosopher urged people to be as direct and clear as possible, so that their words do not get lost in a sea of interpretations. From a psychological perspective, clarity is essential to reduce cognitive ambiguity, which often leads to anxiety and uncertainty. Simple, clear advice is not only easier to understand, but also easier to apply. Concise, direct language prevents people from becoming overwhelmed and allows them to focus on the essentials, making the advice more effective and pragmatic.
6. Have experience or knowledge
In a world where everyone seems to have become a counselor and opinionist, Hobbes argued that one can only be a good counselor in “those matters in which one is well versed.” Advising on matters we are unfamiliar with can be counterproductive, as a lack of knowledge and experience can lead us to underestimate or misinterpret key factors. He therefore encourages us to refrain from advising on matters that are foreign to us, as our considerations could be inaccurate or even wrong, doing more harm than good to the person. Sometimes our best help may simply be to acknowledge that we cannot help.
7. Familiarize yourself with the situation and the factors involved
Abstract knowledge is not enough. Hobbes believed that good advice must also be contextualized. Only from this knowledge can “good judgment” emerge. And that means not only knowing the situation that the person is going through, but also the greatest number of factors involved. Only by understanding the dynamics of what is happening can we propose an appropriate, useful and viable solution. In Psychology, it could be translated as “contextual intelligence,” the ability to analyze the particular dynamics that affect a person or situation. By having a more complete vision and one that is more adjusted to the reality of the other, we will be able to give valid advice, instead of causing new problems.
Therefore, from the Hobbesian perspective, the art of giving good advice not only benefits the person receiving it, but also the counselor, since it involves a constant exercise of reflection, self-knowledge and mastery of reason. Furthermore, since advising is not a universal formula, but rather an effort to connect with the reality of the other, it is also an act of profound empathy in which we prioritize others, abandoning – even if only for a few moments – our egocentrism.
Source:
Hobbes, T. (1980) Leviatan o la materia, forma y poder de una república eclesiástica y civil. México: Fondo de Cultura Económica.
