Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon who worked in the field of self-image, stated that “Having low self-esteem is like traveling the road of life with the brakes on.” And the truth is that he was not wrong because you can have all the instruments at your disposal to achieve the objective you set for yourself but if you do not trust your abilities, you will probably fail.
It is worth clarifying that success does not depend exclusively on the confidence we have in ourselves, it is not true that to succeed it is enough to believe it. However, if we lack confidence, the road will be uphill and it will be much easier for us to give up halfway.
However, there is good news: self-confidence can be developed.
How to increase self-confidence?
1. Set small goals and achieve them
The person who does not trust their abilities usually needs to have proof that they can achieve the goals they set. Therefore, nothing better than setting small goals and taking all the necessary steps to achieve them. This will allow you to abandon the vicious cycle of frustration and hopelessness into which you have fallen. To the same extent that you achieve more ambitious goals, your self-confidence will increase. At first you may have to start with small goals, don’t despair, little by little you will be able to raise the bar. Remember that, more than anything, it is about reprogramming the idea of failure that you have generated in your mind.
2. Change a habit
Once you’ve achieved those small goals, you’ll be ready to take it a step further. Think about a habit you’ve always wanted to change and work on creating a healthier or more beneficial habit in its place. Obviously, don’t start habits like quitting smoking or stopping watching TV and starting running every day. The change should be gradual, so instead of going for a run every day, you can aim to run twice a week or stop smoking two or three cigarettes during the day. Remember that on many occasions we do not achieve our objectives because they are too ambitious and we face them as a single mass, but if we divide them into small steps, they will be more feasible. Don’t expect to fly to the top of the mountain, you will have to climb, taking one step after the other.
3. Face a situation that makes you uncomfortable
We all have situations that we have been putting off because they are uncomfortable for us. Maybe you’ve been wanting to talk to your boss for weeks or trying to say something to your partner. This is the time for you to take the reins and decide to face that situation. Running away from problems will not solve them, on the contrary, in many cases avoidance only serves to increase them. Even if you don’t manage to reach the solution you wanted, at least you will have removed the worry, you will have taken the first step. And that’s something you can be proud of.
4. Focus on the solution
Often the lack of self-confidence stems from negative thoughts about the possible consequences of the decision we make. We begin to ruminate on apocalyptic pictures that have little to do with reality. Therefore, focus on objective data and eliminate all those catastrophic ideas from your mind. Keep in mind that we tend to magnify the emotional repercussions of events and that only serves to demotivate us and make us lose confidence.
5. Help someone
If you are an insecure person, chances are that you are constantly focused on yourself. However, if you want to increase your self-confidence, you must decenter the focus of your attention, you must focus on others. Look around you and, if you find someone who needs your help, don’t hesitate to give it to them. You’ll be surprised to discover how much these small gestures of solidarity can boost your confidence.
