We’ve all had days when a minor inconvenience feels like the end of the world. Losing a client, having an argument with a friend, or making a mistake at work is enough to suddenly turn these setbacks into epic catastrophes. Sometimes, we’re true experts at making a storm in a teacup.
In those cases, the problem isn’t so much what happens, but how we perceive and interpret it. I know it’s easy to say, and putting problems into perspective is a bit more complicated when we feel overwhelmed, but it’s not impossible. In fact, when you finally learn to put everything in its place, you gain tremendous serenity.
What does it mean to relativize problems – and what does it not?
Relativize problems means put them into perspective, means assessing their true importance and seeing them as something we can manage, not as catastrophes that foretell Armageddon. It’s a mental exercise that allows us to reduce the emotional intensity of difficulties so we can analyze the situation more clearly and decide what to do without being overwhelmed by panic.
It is important to clarify that relativizing problems does not mean:
- Neither minimize them nor ignore them
- Comparing our problems with those of others to feel “lucky”
- Downplaying what affects us
- Passively resign ourselves to suffering “what has happened to us”
- Forcing ourselves to feel good or pretending that we have everything under control
Problems still exist; relativizing them won’t make them disappear. What changes is how we perceive and relate to them. It’s an approach that combines greater objectivity with the ability to remain calm and act thoughtfully.
To achieve this, the idea is to learn to distinguish between what truly matters and what our minds exaggerate. This way, we won’t waste energy worrying excessively. In other words, putting problems into perspective is simply about assessing the difficulty of each situation to reduce its emotional impact and manage it in the best way possible.
How can problems be put into perspective using the technique of temporal distancing?
The technique of temporal distancing is particularly effective for learning to put problems into perspective. Essentially, it provides us with a very useful perspective for escaping the mental chaos created by the setback or obstacle.
In 2023, a group of psychologists from the University of California asked 155 people to report for eight days on their main stressor, how they had felt, and whether they had been able to temporarily distance themselves from what was happening to them.
They found that, indeed, people who managed to create some temporary distance from their problems tended to experience more pleasant emotions, such as happiness and calm. They also felt less anxiety or sadness.
The best part is that we can create a psychological distance from what worries us and learn to put problems into perspective with a very simple technique: you just have to ask yourself a question and try to answer it objectively:
“Will this still matter in five years?”
Nothing else.
For example, suppose you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have a work project due or you’re extremely frustrated after an argument. If you imagine how you’ll feel in a few years, you’ll probably realize that what’s worrying you won’t be as important as it seems right now.
Why does it work?
- Immediate emotional distance. When you project yourself into the future, your mind stops experiencing the problem as an unsolvable current crisis and sees it as a temporary obstacle.
- Reducing the drama. Most of the problems that seem enormous today lose importance when considering the big picture in the long term.
- Focus on what’s truly important. It helps separate the relevant from the trivial, preventing minor inconveniences from stealing your mental energy.
In neuropsychological terms, the technique of temporal distancing reduces the activation of the amygdala (the part of the brain that triggers fear and anxiety) while activating the prefrontal cortex (responsible for planning and rational decision-making). This explains why it helps you put problems into perspective almost immediately. In practice, it gives you back control and perspective, lessening some of the emotional impact that prevents you from seeing the problem clearly.
So, the next time you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious, simply ask yourself, “Will this still be important in five years?” The answer is probably “no.”
Source:
Benkley, D. et. Al. (2023) Short-term implications of long-term thinking: Temporal distancing and emotional responses to daily stressors. Emotion; 23(2): 595-599.
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