How many times have you heard that you need to take a break? Maybe you have told yourself that you need to slow down, dedicate more time to yourself, relax more, pamper yourself more or even listen to yourself more. However, sometimes it is also necessary to take a break from ourselves, especially when we feel involved in a spiral of worries or doubts.
The tiredness of the soul
“It happens that I get tired of being a man,” wrote Pablo Neruda in Walking Around . “I do not want to continue being a root in the darkness, wavering, spread out, shivering with sleep […] absorbing and thinking, eating every day.”
He was referring to that intellectual fatigue, but also to the existential fatigue caused by routine and, of course, the mental breakdown that comes with being alone with our thoughts, which too often take us down paths that are not the most appropriate.
And, although we are not usually willing to admit it, we’re not always in good company when we are left alone. Sometimes our inner dialogue can become our worst enemy. Our monologue can become too redundant, to the point that our worries, fears or concerns overwhelm us more than reality.
In times when we feel particularly stressed, overwhelmed or pressured, being alone with ourselves often increases that feeling of discomfort, especially when we add demands that are almost impossible to meet or we self-generate negative emotional states. In those moments, we probably need to take a vacation from ourselves.
How to rest from yourself?
Above all, we must be clear that excesses only serve to hide existential voids or momentarily plug a hemorrhage of problems and conflicts. If we rely on excesses – from alcohol to binge-watching – to escape our inner universe, soon these avoidance strategies will become compulsive habits. And they won’t exactly be healthy.
As the novelist Rachel Cusk wrote: “Habits kill what is essential in ourselves.” So when we feel like we need to take a break from ourselves, it’s actually a sign that we need to make a change. In other words, we must introduce new data: give our mind something new to focus on, so that it stops thinking about the same topics over and over again.
Sometimes that just means “airing” your thoughts. That is, allowing your mind to focus on other, more pleasant things, preferably getting out of its usual routine, which is what usually triggers those ruminative thoughts, often fueled by social pressures and expectations.
A study conducted at the University of Queensland, for example, found that short getaways are often more beneficial than long vacations. They have great restorative power, they help us clear our minds, allow us to rest and contribute to our emotional well-being.
Connecting with ourselves without expectations
At other times, this need to rest from ourselves comes from the pressures we impose on ourselves, especially when we become our harshest judges, to the point of exploiting ourselves thinking that we are fulfilling ourselves.
And those demands also extend to the level of personal growth. Sometimes we want to feel good so much that we block ourselves with excessive motivation adding more fuel to the fire. We focus too much on the negative emotions that we want to avoid, to the point that this constant scrutiny generates tension and anxiety.
In these cases, it is advisable to follow the Taoist recommendation to meditate: doing it without expectations. That is, not judging our emotions or putting pressure on ourselves to feel good, simply focusing on experiencing the present moment. Often this type of approach/distancing from ourselves has a cathartic and liberating power because it allows us to connect with our most hidden “self”, while giving the “ego” a rest.
In a world full of expectations and noise, it is essential to recognize that we also add pressure, so taking a break from yourself may be the solution. By moving away from self-demands and putting a pause on this excessively critical inner dialogue, we rediscover inner peace.
Source:
Packer, J. (2021) Taking a break: Exploring the restorative benefits of short breaks and vacations. Annals of Tourism Research Empirical Insights; 2(1): 100006.
