We live in times of overabundance. An overabundance of options, stimuli, information, and life models. Paradoxically, having so many options doesn’t always lead to clarity, but rather to confusion.
And when choosing becomes exhausting, procrastination becomes the norm. As a result, more and more people live on autopilot. They go with the flow, as if life were a kind of conveyor belt. However, “when you don’t know where you’re going, you’re likely to end up somewhere you don’t want to,” as psychiatrist Alexander Elder once wrote.
The paralysis before the election
Many people struggle to make decisions, not because they lack options, but precisely because they have too many or because they fear making the wrong choice. Analysis paralysis is largely the result of a society that overvalues success and punishes failure, a society in which choosing sides has become a kind of declaration of principles and a public commitment that seems to admit no turning back.
Thus, having to decide paralyzes us. We postpone important decisions, take refuge in the familiar, or delegate – consciously or unconsciously – our choices to others.
The problem is that not deciding is also a decision. And when we don’t decide for ourselves, the world keeps turning and drags us along with it. Everything follows its course. And if we’re not clear about the direction we want to take, we’re likely to end up being dragged along by the decisions of others, out of simple inertia.
One of the biggest dangers of not having an internal compass is that we end up adopting someone else’s maps. In other words, if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re likely to follow the path your parents dreamed up for you, chase the model of success sold on social media, or accept a job you hate just because it “has a future” or “brings prestige.”
But those paths, even if they’re well-paved and popular, can lead you away from your true self. And when this happens, feelings of chronic dissatisfaction arise, even if you’ve seemingly achieved everything.
The trap of flowing without direction
The lack of purpose in life doesn’t always manifest itself as a dramatic existential crisis. It often appears silently and manifests as apathy, lack of motivation, difficulty making decisions, diffuse irritability, or that feeling that the days pass without leaving a mark. There are no great Greek tragedies, but there is no enthusiasm either.
This lack of vital meaning often results from a progressive disconnection between internal experience and external decisions.
In this context, many embrace the discourse of “going with the flow” because it relieves them of the responsibility of making decisions. However, when applied in the absence of a minimal internal compass, “going with the flow” becomes an avoidance mechanism. Accepting that life is uncertain and being willing to weather adversity or take advantage of whatever comes is not the same as abdicating all agency.
Opting for apparent neutrality and letting things “happen” offers short-term relief, but it often translates into medium- and long-term dissatisfaction. Because if you don’t know where you’re going, if there’s no internal criterion to guide your decisions, the direction will be determined by other factors (i.e., social pressure, family expectations, or even the urgency of your surroundings).
This vital ambiguity not only generates uncertainty, it also leads to a kind of existential drift in which commitments, opportunities, and connections are accepted more out of inertia than conviction.
Where am I and where do I want to go?
Living without direction isn’t living freely; it’s living adrift. And as time goes by, we might end up in a place – metaphorically or literally – that we didn’t really choose.
If we don’t know what we want from life, it’s difficult for life to give us something that satisfies us. On the other hand, when we take control and set the course, even when we make mistakes, we feel more authentic in life.
Ultimately, life’s meaning isn’t a perfectly defined, linear path, but rather a way of consciously walking toward what matters to us. And on that journey, every choice counts.
So, if you’re in one of those phases where you’re simply going with the flow and aren’t sure where to go next, perhaps it’s time to stop, look inside yourself, and ask yourself: Am I on the path I’ve chosen, or am I following someone else’s route? And if you don’t like the answer, remember that you always have the option to change direction.
Leave a Reply