Learning to listen is complicated. It is not as simple as it seems because it does not mean limiting ourselves to hearing what the other person wants to say, it involves detaching ourselves from our stereotypes, opening ourselves emotionally to the other person’s experiences and stopping judging to begin to be truly empathetic. It is a difficult skill to develop but once we have it, it could change our lives completely.
Why is learning to listen very beneficial?
1. Listening is learning
D.J. Kaufman stated that “intelligence is the reward for having spent a life listening, especially in those moments when you would have preferred to talk.” When you learn to be quiet for longer and let others talk, you’ll multiply your chances of learning from them. When you are the one doing the talking, the opportunities to learn are drastically reduced. Remember that everyone has something to teach us. In fact, the most interesting learnings of my life have been found where I least expected them. You just have to learn to listen without stereotypes.
2. Listening increases the chances of being accepted
A person who talks non-stop will be nice during the first meetings but then will become an egomaniac that everyone tries to avoid. In reality, we all like people who know how to listen, those who are there when you have a problem and with whom you can vent because you know that they will not judge or criticize you.
3. Listening allows you to create a bond with another person
J. Isham said that “listening is an attitude of the heart, it is a genuine desire to be with the other.” When you learn to listen, you are telling the other person that you are there for them, that everything revolves around them now, that you are willing to help them. This simple act can generate a very intense bond with the other because in reality, there are very few who know how to listen without criticizing and without putting their problems first.
4. Listening is persuading
If you want to convince someone, the key is not to attack them with arguments but to listen. First of all, listen to their motives, understand their emotions, and only then speak. The simple fact of giving them the opportunity to express their opinions is already a show of goodwill that will tip the balance in your favor and make your reasons more persuasive. To convince, you should not refute the other’s arguments but rather put yourself in their place and give their own reasons.
5. Listening is maturing
When you are able to listen to another person without putting your needs and problems first, it implies that you have grown, that you have matured because you have learned to accept the other, with their virtues and defects. Only mature people are capable of abandoning their position to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Needless to say, this degree of emotional maturity will allow you to live more fully.
