Life is simple, we are those who strive to complicate it. One of our biggest problems is that we refuse to live in the present, so we are always trapped between the past and the future. When something god happens to us we do not enjoy it completely because we continue to worry about the future and when it happens something negative we tend to deny it, as if we were able to make it disappear.
Being absent and denying the reality aggravates more the problems, and often prevents us from dealing effectively with adversity as we are not sufficiently objective. Practicing the radical acceptance is a huge step forward toward our well-being. And we can start precisely with certain truths of life difficult to accept, but when we finally understand and accept them they will have a liberating effect.
- People leave
Everyone has their own way, sometimes we are fortunate to coincide for a very long time, and otherwise time does not seem sufficient. Even though it hurts to assume it, the fact is that people come in and out of our lives constantly, and we do the same with them.
It is sad, especially when we have a special bond with someone but learning to “let go” is one of the most difficult lessons we face in life. Sometimes people come back, sometimes they leave forever, and the important thing is to take advantage of the wonderful moments we can pass next to them. When there is a strong emotional bond, time will never be enough, but being assured that we are enjoying this relationship is a great balm to cure the vacuum that will emerge later on.
- Learn to take care of yourself, no one else can do it for you
We need the help of others, especially in difficult times, but the fact is that when are produced emotional wounds, only we can cure them. People accompanying us can encourage and comfort us, but we are who must find the strength to move on.
This means that we must pay more attention to ourselves and not neglect the little child living within us. An excellent technique is to practice meditation in front of the mirror. During the first minutes, nothing will happen, but if you insist, you will begin to see differently that person reflected in the mirror.
- If you want something, you have to give something in return
We live in the age of instant gratification, but the truth is that valuable things have always required a dose of risk and sacrifice. And this has not changed. If you really want something, if you have a dream, you have to fight for it. Often this means that you have to give up something.
Each decision involves choosing to follow a path and discard others, which means that you will have to give up other things. Pretending to have everything is a childish and unrealistic attitude that leads to frustration. Therefore, we only have to decide whether the sacrifice is really worth it, deciding what we are willing to give in order to get something in return.
- You cannot escape pain
Life includes all the extremes: love and hate, health and illness, gain and loss. We cannot live in a bubble, claiming to be safe from pain, suffering and disappointment, because that would mean we are not living.
In a sense, painful emotions purify us and make us more human, they return us our mortality and often allow us to develop a more balanced outlook on life as well. Of course, no one wants to suffer, but because adversities will end up knocking on our door too, the most sensible thing to do is assume what happened and try to recompose the pieces as soon as possible.
- The ties that comfort you are also those that imprison you
Throughout our lives we maintain special relationships, we establish relationships that comfort us and make us feel safe. It may be our parents, family, friends … Knowing that they are there for us gives us a pleasant feeling of tranquility. However, the same constraints that comfort us are also the ones that imprison us. It’s a difficult reality to accept, but that’s it.
Dependency is one of the main causes of suffering and can become an obstacle that prevents us from fully developing our potential. In fact, when the emotional bonds cease to be comforting and become too narrow, they become a problem. We need to find the balance so that we can develop mature relationships in which no one is the owner of the other, and everyone has the utmost freedom to be himself, and make his own decisions.
- Security is an illusion
We spend most of our lives in search of security, and when we believe we have found it, we act as if it were a jewel to guard in the safe. Thinking in terms of security and stability comforts us and allows us to alleviate the uncertainty of the future. But if it is true that we need a degree of stability and security, it is also true that most of the things we take for granted can disappear at any time.
Understanding that security is an illusion, more or less intense depending on the person, is extremely liberating because it will allow us to stop clinging to things and people to really learn and fully enjoy life. Be fully aware that what we have today there could not be tomorrow will allow us to value it a lot more and, above all, to feel happier here and now.
- Life is not just or unjust
Life is just life, it is a continuous flow where everything changes continually. Life is not just or unjust, it’s the labels that we apply according to our expectations, to what we think to deserve or not that make it sound just or not. Therefore, it is absolutely useless to think that life has not rewarded us as we deserved, because this creates only a profound sense of dissatisfaction and can also lay the foundations of the learned helplessness.
Life is precious, with better and worse times, we must be prepared to enjoy good times and face the difficult ones. Issuing value judgments will not add anything constructive to the situation.