Anxiety can be a very difficult problem to manage, not only for the person who suffers from it but also for those around them who share their daily life.
Living with an anxious person can be exhausting as they are often overly demanding and respond with irritability or get easily frustrated. In many cases, their lack of planning and tendency toward impulsiveness can also lead to problems in relationships.
Therefore, if you live with an anxious person, it is important that you understand how they feel and why they react in a certain way in certain situations. The ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes is essential to avoid unnecessary arguments and, of course, to be able to help them.
Understanding: The key to maintaining a healthy relationship with an anxious person
1. There is much more behind anxiety. No person can be defined exclusively through one characteristic. It is a truism, but the truth is that when we are confused, we have the tendency to focus only on the negative qualities, ignoring the positive ones. Therefore, it is important to learn to look beyond anxiety and value all the qualities of the person you have at your side.
2. Stress can quickly set in. Anxious people are aware of everything that is going on around them because their brain is unable to switch off. This state of hyperactivation ends up being overwhelming and stressful. Therefore, if you want to talk calmly about an important topic, it is better to choose quiet places. This way you will not only be able to better capture their attention but you will also reduce friction in the conversation.
3. There is an awareness that anxiety is irrational. Most people who suffer from anxiety are well aware that it is an irrational state. An anxious person does not lose touch with reality, they just find it difficult to manage certain sensations, emotions and thoughts. Therefore, emphasizing the irrationality of their state or their worries often does not help, on the contrary, it makes the person feel misunderstood or even blame themselves for what they are experiencing.
4. Letting go is a complicated matter. Anxiety is inextricably linked to recurring and unwanted thoughts. The mind of an anxious person is bombarded by the same ideas, which frighten or distress them, over and over again. That is why letting go of some issues or moving on can be very complicated. Don’t pressure them to “forget” or think about something else because the more importance you give to those thoughts, the more they will become anchored in their mind. Just give them time and help them distract themselves.
5. Changes, even small ones, are a great challenge. An anxious person lives in a state of almost permanent anxiety and anguish, expecting something bad to happen at the next minute. Therefore, it is normal that when they find a comfort zone, they cling to it and are not a fan of changes. You have to be very patient because in their mind, changes can mean destabilization, chaos and, of course, discomfort. This does not mean that changes are not positive, on the contrary, they can be very beneficial, but it is necessary to be patient and respect their pace.
6. Being fully present is a luxury. An anxious person does not always manage to be fully present, their mind is very active and often pushes it away, so it is common for them to get lost in their thoughts. Obviously, they do not do this on purpose, it is almost always some stimulus from the environment, such as a phrase, a smell or an object, that their brain has associated with a past experience, thus triggering a series of thoughts. Do not get upset, gently bring them back to reality.
7. Exhaustion is a daily occurrence. Anxiety is simply exhausting. Imagine spending all day anxious and anxious, often without knowing why. This state of alertness exhausts you both physically and mentally, so it is normal for anxious people to need more rest and feel overwhelmed more quickly. Added to this is the fact that they often have trouble getting a restful sleep and are unable to relax easily. Therefore, do not scold them or push them to be more productive because adding an extra dose of anxiety and tension will not help, on the contrary, it can only make the situation worse.
8. Impulsiveness leads to bad decisions. Anxious people can respond impulsively to certain situations. For example, an experiment conducted at the University of Illinois showed that anxious people jump to conclusions about the emotional states of others, which leads them to make mistakes in their interpersonal relationships. This lack of reflection is determined by an overactivation of their emotional brain; they do not do it on purpose. Therefore, the best help is to be patient and help them redirect their thinking.
9. Restlessness and impatience are daily struggles. An anxious person experiences a state of inner activation that prevents them from staying calm. They express this activation by moving their feet and hands while sitting or by continually changing activities. For some of these people, breathing exercises work, but for others they cause greater restlessness. In this case, physical activity can be much more beneficial. Therefore, perhaps instead of going to the movies, it is better to plan a walk in the park. It is about adapting to the needs of the other and planning activities that make both feel good.
10. Talking about your feelings is liberating. An anxious person can find great relief in someone who listens to them and is genuinely interested in what they feel. That is why the best cure is often not medication or psychotherapy but love and understanding. Ask them how they feel and try to understand, putting yourself in their place. Active listening will strengthen your relationship, creating much stronger emotional bonds.
Finally, don’t forget that sharing your life with an anxious person can be a great adventure, you just need to focus on the positive aspects.
Leave a Reply