“What are your books about?” a man asked American writer Rebecca Solnit at a party.
Solnit began to talk to him about her latest work, but the man quickly interrupted her to tell her what he thought about a “very important” book published that same year on the same subject.
Of course, it was Solnit’s book. A friend of the writer had to point this out three or four times before the man realized he didn’t need to explain it.”
Solnit recounted this experience in an article titled “Men Explain Things to Me”, which resonated with many other women.
In fact, what happened to the journalist has probably happened to you more than once, and it’s also likely to have bothered you quite a bit. The scenario is usually the same: you’re talking with a friend, your partner, or a colleague about a topic when the conversation suddenly turns into some kind of class or lecture for you. The man settles into his seat and begins to give you “instructions” on the subject.
Mansplaining: Let me explain
This phenomenon is not new, but the term that has been coined to describe it is: “mansplaining,” a combination of the words “man” and “explanation,” which in Spanish has been translated with the neologism “machoexplicación.”
Unlike other forms of condescension that anyone can use in their speech, and that women also use, this specific term is exclusively gendered and based on sexist assumptions that men are typically more intelligent or capable than women.
Mansplaining refers to men who believe their point of view is the only valid one and try to impose it. These men take a condescending attitude toward women because they assume they are ignorant, when in reality their own knowledge on the subject is often quite incomplete. Yet, these men fail to understand that women have a broader grasp of the subject.
At the root of this phenomenon are various behaviors, but they all have one thing in common: the disdain of the person giving the “keynote” by the person listening, usually for the simple fact that the person is a woman.
This phenomenon can also be seen when a man monopolizes the conversation for the sole purpose of boasting and appearing more educated than the woman listening. In fact, a study conducted at Brigham Young and Princeton Universities found that men talk three times more than women in meetings. However, the most striking thing is that when a man talks a lot, he is often considered very competent; when a woman does, she is labeled as verbose.
It’s no surprise, then, that another study conducted at George Washington University found that while both men and women tend to interrupt others, it’s more likely to happen when the person speaking is a woman.
The consequences of mansplanning
The result of this phenomenon is that women’s opinions are often ignored or undervalued. In other cases, something that often occurs in companies, women need the support of a male colleague to have their proposals considered.
The problem is that this phenomenon discourages many women from expressing their opinions and ideas, condemning them to silence. In fact, a study conducted at Northeastern University on geek culture revealed that in the computer world, men have no problem boasting about their technical skills, while women tend to believe their achievements are less important and are often made to feel like “imposters” because the world is dominated by men. Furthermore, when they outperform men in a challenge, they are often made to feel bad and are more likely to be attacked by trolls.
What does condescension reveal?
Generally speaking, speaking to someone in a condescending tone, assuming they don’t understand a topic, involves feigning kindness to demonstrate superiority. In many cases, this attitude is assumed automatically; the person isn’t fully aware of it. In fact, these people often don’t realize how damaging they can be. They have difficulty accepting that their “infantilizing” behavior toward others is actually emotionally debilitating and unappreciated. That’s why it’s important not to give it a boost. This type of condescension can make the other person feel inferior and is almost always an expression of deep insecurity.
A person who behaves condescendingly toward others needs to feel in control, needs to dominate others, even if only intellectually. Therefore, deep down, this need to excel or overwhelm others hides a deep insecurity.
The condescending attitude is based on the idea that those who have power over others are more valuable. However, since they don’t want to start an “open war,” they adopt a paternalistic/maternalistic attitude that seeks to control the situation. It also demonstrates extremely rigid thinking and an inability to relate to certain groups of people, such as women, as equals.
No one has the absolute truth, so no one has the right to preach or impose their point of view on others, no matter who they are.
References:
Reagle, J. (2016) The obligation to know: From FAQ to Feminism 101. New Media & Society : 18(5): 691-707.
Hancock, A. B. et. Al. (2015) Influence of Communication Partner’s Gender on Language. Journal of Language and Social Psychology ; 34(1).
Christopher, F. et. Al. (2012) Gender Inequality in Deliberative Participation. American Political Science Review ; 106 (3): 533-547.
Scott says
This somewhat meandering article doesn’t mention how the term itself is condescending and dismissive to all men. It mentions a couple studies to help support the fact that mansplaining is a real phenomenon and continues on to seemingly accuse all men of being guilty, or at least fully capable, of doing it. I think it is all being oversimplified here. I think that the term itself is rooted in sexism and regardless of whether someone actually witnesses an example of mansplaining or not, accusing someone of it is offensive and harmful. It is one thing to take issue and point out that someone is talking over you or interrupting you. And you should do or say something if this is a common problem you have with someone. But to label it as mansplaining will not help in the least.
Everyone has the right to be heard. Anyone can be the most knowledgeable and helpful or the most arrogant and dismissive. It doesn’t really matter what gender you are. But as soon as you use the label it becomes a gender issue and you are accusing the other of being sexist. You may likely get the opposite effect of what you wanted as you may be seen as the sexist one. And that may well be accurate,
even if the other person was in the wrong initially.
Personally I believe that the ones who are most often guilty of what you call mansplaining are the baby boomers and older generations. These men are used to having to explain things to other women their age. And are used to being seen as very helpful and being thanked for sharing their wisdom. Even at times where the women being explained to already knows the answer they are more often than not very polite and thank the man for, at least trying, to help. Even when it is pointed out what theye doing wrong, they will either be embarrassed or defensive. But will be unlikely to quickly change these long term habits.
I guess to conclude my now somewhat meandering comment. The term is harmful in many ways. Using it outside of venting to your friends is not likely to lead to anything good.
There are work environments that are toxic. They can be sexist against women but it can to the opposite way as well. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do as your co-workers have already dismissed you this is a sucky place to be without easy solutions. But often all one need to do is keep “fighting” to be heard.
Raise your voice, careful not to raise it too high and cause any escalation. If the man raises his voice even more he may need to be notified that he has become loud. This is easier if you have at least one other person to confirm this. Don’t be accusational but telling the him to calm down a bit can be helpful and satisfying if he has gotten you to become loud in the past through frustration. If being told to calm down makes him very angry. You have a bigger problem and hopefully you can get him to act this way in front of H.R. and hopefully the H.R. is a fair and just employee. If not, maybe time to find a better place to work.