Sometimes the only barrier that prevents us from moving forward and achieving our goals is ourselves, or rather, our mind. It’s very simple: if you don’t control your mind, it will end up controlling you. There’s no need to think about it too much.
At a certain point in life, which we all reach sooner or later, the mind and the toxic beliefs it harbors become a prison that limits our potential and curtails our perspective.
Every time we believe there is only one way to do things, we are limiting ourselves. Every time we blindly embrace tradition, we are closing ourselves off to novelty. Every time we think in terms of loss and failure, we are mentally tripping ourselves up. And worst of all, we do these things day in and day out, without even realizing it.
The good news is that simply recognizing the obstacles we put in our way already takes away their power and opens our minds, allowing us to adopt a broader and more enriching perspective.
The voice you hear in your mind: Whose is it?
At first glance, it may seem almost crazy. However, it is often the voice that resonates in our mind, especially when it is demeaning or accusatory, that does not come from our “self”. In reality, they are the voices of different significant people with whom we have interacted throughout our lives, especially in childhood and adolescence.
In fact, if you pay attention to some of the phrases you say to yourself when this inner dialogue is triggered , you will realize that these phrases do not belong to you and, if you look into your past, you will find their true owner. It could be your parents, a teacher or even that kid at school who made your life miserable.
These phrases, which probably hurt your self-esteem, stayed in your memory and, with the passage of time, you have assumed them as your own, but in reality they do not belong to you; they are the vision that others had of an “I” that no longer exists and that probably never even existed.
When you start paying attention to that inner dialogue, you’ll realize that many of your toxic beliefs come from thoughts that other people have instilled in you. But you don’t have to keep tripping yourself up. On the contrary, you must learn to eliminate those beliefs and walk confidently on your own feet.
The 3 most common toxic beliefs that prevent you from moving forward
Although it may seem like a contradiction, the truth is that we do not always want to move forward. Sometimes we are comfortable where we are, or we are afraid of the unknown, so we prefer not to move. However, we do not recognize this. And to prevent ourselves from moving forward, we become our own worst enemy, we deliberately trip ourselves up.
Some of the most damaging beliefs you cultivate in your mind, perhaps without realizing it, are:
1. “It’s not the right time”
Procrastination is a serious problem that can make you miss out on unique opportunities. Continually postponing your dreams will make you reach the final stretch without having fulfilled them. And what’s even worse: you’ll blame yourself for having let the opportunity pass you by.
In reality, the belief that it is not the right time is only a lack of motivation or fear. What happens is that we are afraid to leave our comfort zone because we do not know what we will find outside. As a result, we prefer to fool ourselves by telling ourselves that it is not the most appropriate time.
However, life always involves a certain degree of uncertainty, we can never be 100% sure, we must be willing to take at least a minimum risk. Remember that when you have a reason to fight for, you will find the means along the way. You just need to dare and take the first step.
2. “I am not an expert”
Society has made us believe that if we are not good enough at something, we better not try it. However, this path only serves to close many doors, leaving no room for learning and growth. If we do not get involved in new projects, we will never be able to improve.
The truth is that nobody was born knowing. Those who are experts in a sector today were not experts yesterday. What makes them different is the time and effort they have dedicated to that passion. After all, we must remember that genius is made up of 1% talent and 99% perseverance.
In any case, to enjoy most things in life, you don’t have to do them perfectly. Perfectionism is nothing more than a barrier that keeps you going around in circles, unable to move forward. Make sure you enjoy what you do, and don’t hide behind perfectionism because with practice, the results will also improve.
3. “I will surely fail”
Henry Ford, one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time, said: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” Your mind is either your best ally or your worst enemy.
Of course, a dose of strategic negativity can be useful, as it helps you prepare for the worst-case scenario. However, thinking that you will fail in advance implies adopting a defeatist attitude that will not lead you in the right direction but will gradually erode your motivation.
It’s not about adopting an ultra-positive attitude, which would serve little purpose. But if you start a project thinking that you will fail, you won’t get very far. Remember that hope is our most powerful driving force. Therefore, don’t let anyone take it away from you, not even yourself.
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