The mental training is not a new concept. Centuries ago, the Stoic philosophers spoke of the importance of developing the necessary psychological strength to better cope with life’s adversities. In fact, in a certain sense it could be said that the Stoics were the forerunners of the modern self-help psychology.
Developing mental strength is equivalent to filling a backpack with useful tools to face life. Sooner or later we will have to face adversity, we will fail and suffer losses, in those moments, if we do not have the necessary psychological strength, we could fall victim to automatic negative thoughts and exaggerated passions. For this reason, it is essential that we practice our mental training every day.
The 3 most valuable tips of stoicism to develop mental strength
The Stoics started from a key idea: they assumed that are not the events that bother us, but the judgments we formulate about them. For example, the fact that we are fired by an employer may seem very negative, but if we can later find a new job with better conditions, then it will be a good thing. Saying goodbye to that job has pushed us out of our comfort zone.
This means that the events are not good or bad in themselves, it is the interpretation that we give them that acquires a positive or negative value. Therefore, we must assume that it is not the facts, but our expectations and the evaluation of the same, which will eventually end up influencing us.
1. Always ask yourself which is the worst thing that can happen
The Roman emperor and one of the greatest exponents of stoicism, Marcus Aurelius wrote: “Start every day by telling yourself: today I will encounter interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, bad will and selfishness…”
Why should we start the day with this seemingly negative thought? Because that’s how we prepare ourselves mentally and do not succumb to unrealistic expectations. At first glance it may seem a little depressing, but the truth is that the people we have to deal with can be difficult. However, we expect them to behave well, so when conflicts arise, we get angry and frustrated.
Asking ourselves what is the worst thing that can happen to us is not pessimistic, in the same way that signing a life insurance does not mean we wish to die, it just means that we are realistic and we want to be prepared for what could happen.
When we embrace a naive optimism, this it transforms into an excessive optimism that feeds on unrealistic expectations of events beyond our control, so we end up frustrating ourselves and it is easier for us to fall victim of nervous exhaustion.
Seneca also encourages us to prepare ourselves in advance so that nothing takes us by surprise because, according to his words: “The unexpected has devastating effects, adding to the weight of the disaster” so that the anguish we feel increases. The solution lies in imagining the worst possible scenario, to strengthen the mind and prepare to face it.
Of course, it’s not about making a storm in a teacup and develop a catastrophic thought that increases the anguish even more, it’s just about adapting our level of expectations, being aware that things will not always go as we wish.
2. Apply the “reserve clause”
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus called it hupexhairesis. Basically, it’s the same as when we say “If I’m lucky” or the classic “God willing”. It is the reserve clause, it means recognize that at least part of the result is beyond our control.
When you use the reserve clause, if things do not work, your self-esteem will not be affected and you will not be tempted to give up your goals. You know you do not have 100% control and therefore it cannot be 100% your fault.
It is not an excuse not to try, it simply means recognizing that we have a certain degree of control over the process but not on the result. For example, we cannot aim to get the highest score in the exam, but we can aim to study hard to get the highest score possible.
In this way we can establish more realistic goals and we will not be frustrated if we do not achieve what we want. When we focus on what we can control, we also find it easier to design a realistic action plan. In fact, we have seen that when we focus on results we tend to be weaker, while focusing on effort allows us to do things better.
If we believe we have the total control, the reality will remind us that’s not true, which will make us angry and we give up more easily. Instead, we just have to focus on what we can control. Clear and simple: do everything you can. Seneca summarized it by saying: “The wise man looks at the purpose of all actions, not their consequences, the beginnings are in our hands but luck determines the result and this does not have the power to change my verdict on me”.
3. Put things in perspective
When we are depressed and want to give up, the Stoics knew that what we need is a bit of perspective. The world is a wonderful place and life is very long, but when we make mistakes we forget it and the only thing we can think of is this mishap, failure or error that we have committed.
So we just have to take a step back and look at the whole picture. Marcus Aurelius said: “Many of the anxieties that torment us are superfluous: being only creatures of our imagination, we can free ourselves from them and expand into a wider region, letting our thoughts embrace the whole universe”.
The Stoics loved to talk about “looking from above” referring to a small perspective exercise. Imagine seeing yourself from the sky. You will notice how small you are compared to the city, and how small that city is compared to the nation. Then you will realize that the country is small compared to the world and later, that the planet is only one point in the galaxy.
This does not mean that we are insignificant, but only that sometimes we are caught up in our interpretation of the events. The psychologist Daniel Kahneman resumed this phenomenon calling it “focusing illusion” and stating that “Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.”
When you put problems in perspective and gain a wider vision, you can better withstand the influence of the focusing illusion and remain mentally strong even under the most intense pressure.
