Over time, many myths about relationships have been fed. The problem with these myths is that they can become a reality in people’s minds, to the point of eroding happiness in a relationship.
When we think that a relationship should be a certain way but ours does not meet those requirements, it does not adapt to the myths that we have made our own, frustration usually appears. That is why it is important to be aware of the myths we have and how they can affect the way we relate to each other.
Myth 1: A good relationship should flow naturally
Fact: Strong, lasting relationships take a lot of hard work. A relationship is like a garden, it can become beautiful, but only if we dedicate time and effort to it. Thinking that couple relationships simply flow and stay afloat thanks to love is a myth.
How do you know if you’re working too hard? One sign is if you feel unhappy more than you are happy. In other words, you are spending more time and effort taking care of the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it. Another bad sign is if only one of the members strives to change and make a difference while the other develops a lazy attitude.
Myth 2: If two people love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings
Fact: It is a trap to expect your partner to be able to read your mind. There are times when we can anticipate the wishes and needs of the other, but as adults we have the obligation to communicate our feelings and needs assertively.
Myth 3: If it really is love, the passion will never fade
Fact: Due to the imprint left by movies and romance novels, we assume that if we really love someone, the passion never goes away. And if it disappears, it is because it is not the right relationship. In reality, passion naturally wanes in all relationships, often due to routines and responsibilities or limited time. To maintain passion you also have to make an effort.
Myth 4: Having a child will strengthen the relationship
Fact: Studies have shown that happiness in a relationship actually decreases with each child. This means that if there are already problems, a child will not solve them, on the contrary, it can increase them since it often represents a great challenge for the precarious balance that the couple had reached.
Myth 5: Jealousy is a sign of love and affection
Fact: Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and distrust, not love and affection. Jealousy kills the psychological oxygen in the relationship, generating a bond of dependence and domination that is harmful to both partners.
Myth 6: Fights ruin relationships.
Fact: Actually, what ruins relationships is not resolving fights. Discussions can be a healthy strategy to air problems, as long as they are carried out in an assertive and civilized manner, respecting the other. Not talking about problems, on the contrary, distances the couple, and makes these difficulties increase.
Myth 7: For the relationship to be successful, one of the two must change
Fact: Many times we are so caught up in blaming the other that we don’t realize what we need to change ourselves. That means that in a relationship both must give in the same amount and both must change. No one can be 100% guilty.