No one fully prepares you for everything that can happen after childbirth. They talk about the baby, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights, but almost no one talks about the knot in your chest, the tears for no reason, or that uncomfortable feeling of not recognizing yourself in the mirror. And then the guilt sets in. You tell yourself you should feel happy, but instead you feel discouraged and sadder than ever before.
Postpartum depression is one of the most frequent complications after childbirth: it affects around 17% of mothers, according to a study published in Nature, although many of them never seek professional help and suffer in silence, largely due to all the myths about postpartum depression.
The most widespread myths about postpartum depression
The fact that postpartum depression is a relatively common problem does not mean that it is understood and accepted, because at a social level mothers are supposed to feel on top of the world with the arrival of their baby.
For this reason, when a woman feels depressed after pregnancy, those around her don’t understand her, and even the mother herself wonders how it’s possible that she feels this way, which only exacerbates her distress. Myths about postpartum depression paint a negative picture of the mother and fuel a vicious cycle of sadness, doubt, and remorse that worsens the clinical picture even further.
1. Women with postpartum depression are sad and cry constantly
Although depression is often associated with tears, this disorder doesn’t always manifest through crying. The most common symptoms are mood swings, anxiety, constant worry, sleep disturbances, feelings of being overwhelmed, and guilt for not being able to fully enjoy the experience of motherhood. However, it’s important to clarify that this disorder manifests differently in each woman.
While it’s true that some mothers feel sad and cry incessantly, most feel lethargic, irritable, and angry. Some are even afraid of unintentionally harming their babies, which amplifies their anxiety and distress.
Many women try to hide these feelings and struggle in silence for what, at first glance, seems normal, but the storm is raging inside. Therefore, those close to them should be attentive to the symptoms in order to seek psychological help and support them.
2. Postpartum depression occurs during the first few months after childbirth.
There’s a common belief that postpartum depression arises shortly after childbirth, just as hormones are fluctuating and the body is still recovering. Because of this, many women believe that if they coped well in the first few months, they’re safe. They think that if they didn’t break down at the beginning, it won’t happen to them again.
But it’s not always like that. Although many mothers begin to notice the first symptoms around the third or fourth month after giving birth, postpartum depression can appear at any time during the first year. Even when, from the outside, everything seems to be under control because the baby is sleeping better, the routine stabilizes, and the mother regains some semblance of normalcy.
But it is precisely at that moment that many women allow themselves to let their guard down for the first time. Then the accumulated fatigue, the pressure to do everything perfectly, the feeling of having lost parts of themselves, the emotional loneliness, or the lack of support begin to take their toll, and depression sets in.
3. Postpartum depression goes away on its own
In our society, we often view depression as something to be overcome and conquered, minimizing its consequences and believing that it’s simply a matter of changing our attitude or being strong. However, this is not the case. Depression is a complex condition with profound implications for well-being and daily functioning, which is why it often requires psychological treatment.
In fact, a study conducted at the Hospital Clínic in Barcelona found that 10% of women with a postpartum depressive episode have not fully recovered after 2 years, even while under psychological treatment.
For this reason, it’s important that those suffering from postpartum depression seek help to alleviate the symptoms. The good news is that medication isn’t always necessary; there are many psychological techniques to combat depression without medicines.
4. Women with postpartum depression harm their children
Depression is a dangerous disorder for the person suffering from it, but not necessarily for those around them. Women who experience this problem are not bad mothers, nor will they harm their children; they are simply going through a difficult time and need support, as suicidal thoughts can arise when the symptoms are very intense.
Cases reported in the press about mothers harming their children are generally due to postpartum psychosis, which is a different condition. For example, while postpartum depression affects 1 in 8 new mothers, postpartum psychosis occurs in 1 in 1,000, according to research. Confusing the two conditions fuels an unfair stigma and makes many women feel guilty or afraid to seek help.
Furthermore, postpartum depression does not imply a loss of affection or the ability to care. Mothers may feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unable to enjoy the moment, but that does not mean they are harming their children.
5. Postpartum depression is the mother’s fault
It’s common for some women to feel they’ve failed or somehow caused the disorder. Nothing could be further from the truth. However, mothers who suffer from postpartum depression don’t want to feel this way, so many unfairly blame themselves, trying to hide their symptoms and pretend everything is fine. Unfortunately, this added guilt, far from helping, can worsen the intensity of the depression and increase emotional isolation.
Postpartum depression is a real illness, just like gestational diabetes. It doesn’t depend on the mother’s willpower or intentions; it’s a disorder that develops from a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Hormonal imbalances play a significant role, for example, as the rapid fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone after childbirth affect the neurotransmitters that regulate mood, energy, and sleep. This explains why some women feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sad for no apparent reason.
In addition to this, genetic factors and a predisposition to developing mood disorders also play a role. Women with a family history of depression, anxiety, or other psychiatric disorders have a higher risk of developing postpartum depression, according to researchers at Aarhus University, although this does not mean it is inevitable. The social context, lack of support, cultural expectations about motherhood, and pressure to meet an ideal of the “perfect mother” also influence the situation, amplifying feelings of guilt and failure.
The good news is that postpartum depression is a treatable disorder. Early intervention with psychotherapy, social support, and, when necessary, medication, can alleviate symptoms and facilitate recovery. Recognizing that it is not a sign of guilt or weakness, but a clinical condition, is key for the mother to receive help without feeling judged.
References:
Domínguez, M. et. al. (2022) Psicosis postparto: actualización de la matrona. Sanum; 4(6): 54–60.
Zacher, K. et. Al. (2022) Family History of Psychiatric Disorders as a Risk Factor for Maternal Postpartum Depression: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry; 79(10): 1004-1013.
Wang, Z. et. al. (2021) Mapping global prevalence of depression among postpartum women. Transl Psychiatry; 11: 543.
Torres, A. et. Al. (2019) Course of a major postpartum depressive episode: A prospective 2 years naturalistic follow-up study. Journal of Affective Disorders; 15(245): 965-970.
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