You’ve probably heard the cliché phrase a thousand times: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” And although it may sound like cheap self-help or a gym slogan, the truth is that science has something to say about it. This popular wisdom is based on the concept of hormesis—and it’s not a passing fad or a new type of extreme yoga, but a biological phenomenon with very interesting applications for our everyday lives.
Hormesis: What exactly is it?
Hormesis is a biological process by which a cell or group of cells responds adaptively to an external factor or agent that would be harmful at high doses. However, smaller, controlled doses not only prevent such damage but even have a beneficial effect on the organism.
It’s more or less the same principle behind the famous “no pain, no gain.” When you lift weights, it hurts a little. You push yourself. You complain mentally. But you don’t break. On the contrary: your muscles adapt, grow, and strengthen. The result? You become more resilient. However, if you tried to lift 200 kilos without preparation, you’d probably end up in the emergency room.
Behind hormesis lies a logic as simple as it is forgotten in these times: a little pressure, tension, and discomfort can be beneficial, but too much can destroy you.
The art of stressing well
We know that even a small amount of exposure to toxins, heat, cold, or even radiation can stimulate an adaptive response in cells. Instead of collapsing, defense mechanisms are activated , such as the production of antioxidants or repair proteins. It’s as if your body were saying, “If you try to harm me, I’ll get stronger.”
This principle also applies to our emotional universe. Small doses of discomfort or stress—well managed—can strengthen resilience, that is, our ability to bounce back from adversity.
In a world that constantly prioritizes convenience and pushes us to believe we must have everything with minimal effort, the concept of hormesis is almost revolutionary. Of course, it’s not about being masochistic or intentionally causing ourselves pain, but rather about understanding that a little discomfort can be part of the growth process and that we don’t need to immediately escape it.
One of the best examples of psychological hormesis is stress. And I’m not referring to chronic stress that leaves you sleepless and irritable, but rather to “eustress,” that temporary tension that arises when faced with a challenge, a goal, or a new situation.
In fact, a study conducted at the University of California found that people who experienced moderate levels of stress in their lives (neither too low nor too high) were more resilient than those who lived in a bubble of serenity or those who faced constant tension.
In other words, a little pressure can act as an “emotional vaccine.” It activates your defenses without overwhelming you. It helps you adapt. It gives you an extra boost of energy. It allows you to think more clearly under pressure and will prevent you from falling apart every time something goes wrong.
Small doses of daily discomforts that make us grow
In our daily lives, we tend to avoid certain situations because they generate a certain discomfort or unease. We try to ignore them or distract ourselves because we’re unable to “sit with those emotions.” However, exposing ourselves to them, rather than resorting to experiential avoidance, is what will allow us to grow and develop more powerful psychological coping tools.
Rejection, a necessary “medicine”
Rejection is another example of psychological hormesis. In large doses, it can undermine self-esteem, but it can also be a powerful behavioral catalyst. Understanding that you won’t always be liked, that not all paths will be open, and that your ideas won’t always be accepted ultimately empowers you. Rejection is a small reality check that helps you develop something very valuable: your own judgment. In the long run, it will teach you how to choose who you want around you and which battles are worth fighting.
Boredom, a source of creativity
In the age of constant stimulation, boredom is in danger of extinction. However, being bored is healthy. In fact, it’s hormetic. Of course, extreme or prolonged boredom (such as that which can arise in contexts of isolation or enforced unemployment) can lead to depression. But everyday boredom, in small doses, is like a kind of cognitive fast. It empties the mind so that the new can enter. In fact, researchers at the University of Central Lancashire found that people who sat in a room for 15 minutes doing nothing solved 40% more creative problems than those who weren’t bored.
Controlled frustration, tolerance training
We live in an age of instant gratification (24-hour deliveries, immediate likes, food delivery in minutes). In this scenario, no one seems willing to wait. However, frustration is the “strength training” of patience. A classic psychological study conducted at Stanford University showed that children who had greater self-control and were able to delay rewards managed stress better in adulthood. Interestingly, the more you avoid frustration, the more vulnerable you become to the inevitable.
Chosen solitude, the reinforcement of identity
Unwanted loneliness is harmful, but intentional solitude is like an emotional detox. Spending time alone reduces dependence on external validation, fosters self-knowledge, and recharges your batteries. When you’re alone with yourself, you have more time to look within, instead of constantly paying attention to what’s happening outside. This way, you can delve deeper into your feelings, ask yourself what you really want, and form your own ideas, beyond the social noise.
Failing (in time) is a gift in disguise
Do you remember your first professional mistake? That project that went wrong? That interview that seemed ideal but ended in absolute silence? Well, maybe it was more useful than you think. Because failing on your first attempts, in a contained environment, has a hormetic effect: it emotionally inoculates you against the fear of future failure. In fact, it can even be motivating and push you to try harder and give your best, as an experiment conducted at the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Chicago proved. The key is in the context: failing when you can still learn, correct, or ask for help generates greater tolerance for the discomfort of making mistakes. And that’s vital for innovating, taking risks, and growing.
Petty arguments, involuntary relationship therapy
Human relationships also have their version of hormesis: arguments. Of course, arguing all the time isn’t a good sign, but disagreements, tensions, and minor misunderstandings can have an unexpectedly positive effect. When two people have a close relationship, small conflicts can bring them closer together (without destroying the bond) as they strengthen trust and communication. These small storms teach us how to negotiate, listen, express limits and desires, and get to know each other better. Avoiding friction, on the other hand, can create apparent harmony, but it’s likely to be as fragile as glass and, at the first real conflict, shatter.
How to apply psychological hormesis in your daily life?
If you want to put this concept into practice without becoming a Tibetan monk or isolating yourself on a mountain, here are some simple ideas for your daily life:
- Include deliberately uncomfortable activities, from talking to a stranger to working out in the cold. If you do it consciously, it will allow you to grow.
- Allow yourself to make small mistakes; making mistakes without over-dramatizing them is a great way to build resilience.
- Accept challenges that scare you a little (but not too much), and try things you’ve never dared to try before. The key is to find that balance between panic and boredom.
- Record your small, uncomfortable victories, keep a “challenges overcome” journal to track your progress and normalize constructive discomfort.
It is also important that you apply these 3 rules:
- Minimum effective dose. If a challenge overwhelms you, reduce its intensity. For example, instead of speaking in public, start speaking to a smaller group of acquaintances.
- Active recovery. After that small dose of stress, give yourself time to process it and recover. This will prevent tension from building up and becoming harmful.
- Gradual progression. Gradually expose yourself to situations that cause you some stress. If you can tolerate 10 minutes of solitude or boredom today, try 15 tomorrow.
Dosage, not avoidance
Too much discomfort, without preparation, can lead to trauma. But too much comfort, with no challenges and no friction, can lead to existential boredom, apathy, or a fear of life.
Psychological hormesis teaches us that well-being doesn’t come from eliminating everything uncomfortable, but from managing it wisely. Stress, boredom, conflict, and frustration aren’t enemies; they’re the “free weights” in your mental gym.
Therefore, it’s important to learn to tolerate “good” discomfort—the kind that challenges us without breaking us, that makes us grow without overwhelming us. Like a muscle that’s exercised, the mind also expands.
Hormesis reminds us of something we all sense deep down: growth doesn’t happen in absolute comfort. So, if life gives you lemons, don’t throw them away. Squeeze them and make lemonade.
References:
Mann, S. & Cadman, R. (2013) Does Being Bored Make Us More Creative? Creativity Research Journal; 26(2): 165-173.
Berger, J. & Pope, D. (2011) Can Losing Lead to Winning? Management Science; 57(5): 817–827.
Mischel, W. & Ebbesen, E. B. (1970) Attention in delay of gratification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 16(2): 329–337.
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