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The decision to ask for help is not always easy, because sometimes we think it means we recognize a weakness or failure. Seeking help from a psychologist is even more complicated because you add the stereotypes that exist around mental health. But the truth is that asking for help is a choice that denotes courage and maturity.
Usually the decision to go to a psychologist is a process in which the person becomes aware of his condition and discomfort, he realizes that time does not cure wounds as expected and understands that he needs help to address this situation.
The same way that it makes no sense to endure a toothache, it did not even make sense to endure emotional pain. It is important to understand that we cannot always deal with everything by ourselves. In many cases, time is not enough and doesn’t cure wounds, it only adds additional layers of resentment, hatred and frustration.
In fact, we must consider that repressed emotions, sooner or later come to light. Feelings and traumas that are not expressed are accumulated in the unconscious, and some conditions end to make us explode. In other cases, day after day they become negative thought patterns and behaviors that damage relationships and represent an obstacle to achieving happiness.
In addition, we don’t go to a psychologist only when we feel ill. There are psychologists specialized in coaching that can help you make an important decision in your life, deepen your needs and have a clearer vision of the life you want to live. These professionals can also help you drastically change your life to achieve your goals, improve interpersonal relationships or just develop a higher self-esteem and confidence in yourself.
Psychologists does not solve problems, they help you find the solution
1. To have a space just for you. Many people put the needs of others before their own, either of their children, parents or partner. But, being always relegated to a second plan, in time, causes several emotional problems and can generate a feeling of loneliness and emptiness, even though you’re surrounded by many people. Leaning on a psychologist is a way to take care of ourselves, it’s like going to a spa or undergoes a massage, it is a message that you send to yourself by which you indicate that you consider yourself important and take care of yourself. With the psychologist you will have time only for you to talk about your problems, concerns and/or dreams.
2. Figure out exactly what is happening to you. Sometimes emotions take control and prevent us from thinking clearly, they block us or push us to make decisions that we would not have even considered. In these moments we feel confused, we lose the compass. A psychologist can help us find our way and try to explain what is happening. In fact, many people automatically feel relieved finding an explanation for the symptoms that are experiencing, it is as if everything acquires a sense and the situation becomes easier to accept. Talking about your concerns helps you know many details that you overlooked. Speaking allows you to clarify your ideas, makes you the owner of your feelings, therefore you will be relieved and allowed to make better decisions.
3. Be heard without being judged. The psychologist will listen to you, without making judgments of value, or applying stereotypes and labels. A therapy session is a space where you can talk about anything without fear of being judged or criticized. In fact, even if we are not fully aware, sometimes we need a dose of unconditional acceptance that allows us rebalances our self-esteem. The psychologist not only listen to your problems, but will pay attention to your extra-verbal language and your emotions, it will judge you not in terms of “good or bad”, but trying to understand you to help.
4. You’ll get a more comprehensive and objective view. The psychologist would not comment your values or experiences cataloguing them as “right or wrong”, but will provide you with a professional point of view on what is happening. It will help you find an explanation, in order to understand what happens to you and find the best solution. Since is not emotionally involved in the situation, it can give you a more complete and objective perspective of the problem. This way, you will become aware of the factors that keep you from advancing and making you feel bad.
5. Know you better and understand others. Psychotherapy does not only allow you to better know yourself, but will also help you understand the other people. As much as you will deepen into your feelings, you become more empathetic with others and understand the reasons for their behavior. In fact, when we have negative thoughts and don’t process them, they become assumptions that prevent us from seeing the world as it is. When you can put aside these unreal expectations and beliefs, not only will you know better yourself, but it will also be easier for you to understand the intentions and motives of others.
6. You will learn how to manage emotions, thoughts and behaviors. Psychology is a science based on years of experimentation and scientific studies, with an arsenal of infinite techniques to help you relieve some symptoms or achieve your goals. A psychologist will help you identify and modify dysfunctional thoughts that make you feel bad, will teach you to better manage your emotions and eliminate negative habits replacing them with healthier ones. It is worth remembering, however, that the psychologist has no magic wand to solve all your problems, but will provide you with the techniques and strategies that you can implement yourself to resolve these conflicts.
7. You will develop skills to resolve conflicts. Conflicts are part of daily life, as well as problems. Therefore, medicines are not a permanent solution, but only a band-aid on a wound that continues to bleed. Conversely, psychotherapy offers useful tools that not only help you solve current problems but also those that may arise in the future. Psychotherapy is designed to develop the skills that allow you to face everyday life, first helping to recognize your emotions and misconceptions and, secondly, making you reflect and change them. Psychology has not only a curative character, but also a preventive one.