Stress seems to have become public enemy number one – at least for our mental health. No one in their right mind wants to be stressed. We are increasingly aware of the psychological and physical damage that stress causes. That’s why we look for remedies that supposedly help us relax, from mindfulness meditation to yoga classes or some spiritual retreat in a remote location.
And yet, despite all that, despite so much awareness and effort, we are more stressed than ever. A recent study concluded that more than half of the world’s population suffers from considerable stress, and in 85% of countries there is an accelerated worsening of emotional tension, which is hitting young people particularly hard and is now spreading across all social strata.
Perhaps the key lies in the fact that, although many people claim to hate stress, they have actually lost the ability to live without it. We are, to a large extent, addicted to stress.
How can something as unpleasant as stress become necessary?
At first glance, it seems contradictory: stress causes discomfort, irritates us, and damages our long-term health. How is it possible that we become addicted to that state? The answer lies in our brain.
When a challenge arises, whether it’s a tight deadline, a problem, or an argument, several mechanisms are set in motion at the brain level:
- HPA axis. The hypothalamus activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) tract, releasing cortisol, and the sympathetic nervous system activates the production of catecholamines (adrenaline and noradrenaline). This prepares the body for action and is what allows us to stay up late working or endure for several days without collapsing. When we are in this state of activation, we can feel like Superman because our energy reserves are activated and our attention is focused.
- The unexpected reward: dopamine. Although it may seem impossible, neuroscience studies have shown that stressful situations can trigger the release of dopamine in the striatum, which is part of the same circuit involved in reinforcement and addiction. This dopamine surge generates a feeling of focus, urgency, and, most importantly, a reward for remaining alert. In other words, trying to solve a problem under pressure can be neurochemically reinforcing.
Basically, stress generates a state of alertness and hyperactivation that helps us face challenges. Both this state of focus and the unexpected reward we receive upon successfully overcoming the situation act as a reinforcer.
Therefore, when we return to normal, the world can seem dull, colorless, and slow without the constant stimulus of stress. Thus, the cycle becomes self-perpetuating: we seek more challenges, more stimulation, we invent “problems” to solve, and we celebrate our ability to “function under pressure.”
Does that mean you can be addicted to stress, like a drug?
Not literally, but it does share psychological mechanisms with addictive behavior: positive reinforcement (the feeling of accomplishment), negative reinforcement (avoiding guilt or discomfort), cultural expectations (being very busy conveys an image of prestige), and a series of neurobiological changes that maintain the behavior. In fact, it has been found that chronic stress can alter the same reward circuits involved in substance addictions, facilitating their development or complicating withdrawal.
Why isn’t “wanting to relax” enough?
Because stress isn’t just a state of mind, it’s a way of functioning. When someone has lived for years in that constant acceleration, their identity has been built around it. That accelerated pace gives a sense of purpose, of being useful, or of “still being relevant.”
In fact, when the body finally shuts down, a void appears that is often mistaken for boredom or unproductivity, but which is actually withdrawal from stimulation. Therefore, trying to relax without examining what stress is giving us (status, control, a sense of worth, stimulation…) is like trying to quit coffee while working in a café (not impossible, but quite difficult).
Furthermore, there is a social component that reinforces this vicious cycle: we live in a culture that glorifies urgency. Being busy has become a form of self-esteem. Saying “I never stop” generates more admiration than saying “I’m calm and relaxed.” This cultural norm makes calm suspicious and rest a privilege that must be justified to avoid feeling guilty. Thus, even when the body asks for a break, the mind fears appearing lazy or falling behind.
Finally, relaxing and stepping away from the daily hustle and bustle also means facing something more uncomfortable than the overload of everyday life: inner silence. As soon as the noise of stress subsides, thoughts and emotions emerge that we previously ignored because they were buried under the rush: fears, doubts, postponed decisions.
Many people prefer to keep running because stopping means looking inward. Therefore, learning to relax isn’t just about breathing exercises or meditation, but about tolerating stillness and developing the ability to be alone with oneself.
How to stop being addicted to stress? 3 practical strategies
Breaking free from stress addiction involves retraining the body and mind to function at a healthier level of activation. The goal isn’t to live without pressure, as that would be as unrealistic as pretending not to feel negative emotions, but rather to learn to manage mental energy and reconnect with sources of satisfaction that don’t depend on constant anxiety.
1. Recognize the stress addiction circuit
An alcoholic doesn’t get better until they acknowledge they have a drinking problem. The same is true for stress. The first step is recognizing that stress has become your natural habitat. A practical way to realize you’ve fallen into this trap is to keep a short log for a week. Briefly note each time you experience that feeling of tension or urgency (when it happens, how long it lasts, how your body reacts, and what you do afterward). This isn’t about becoming an emotional detective, but about identifying harmful patterns. You might discover that you work better under pressure, not because you’re more focused, but because you’re scattered the rest of the day.
2. Retrain the reward
If your brain has become accustomed to releasing dopamine only when there’s an emergency, you need to offer it new sources of satisfaction. To do this, it’s helpful to introduce other activities that you also enjoy and that help you relax and disconnect, such as cooking without multitasking or reading 20 pages of a book in one sitting without checking your phone. The size of the task doesn’t matter, as long as you manage to finish it. This feeling of accomplishment without pressure helps re-establish the link between action and reward without the need for adrenaline, and it retrains your brain to also enjoy calm.
3. Structured reduction of urgency
No habit can be changed simply by wishing for it; it’s important to build barriers against stress. A helpful practice can be setting off notification-free hours (yes, the world will still exist, even if you don’t respond immediately). You can also try “attention windows”: for example, checking messages at 10:00, 13:00, and 17:00. In the meantime, focus intently. Another technique is to apply the “two-minute rule in reverse”: if something can wait two minutes, let it wait. This trains your tolerance for immediacy and deactivates the reflex to resolve everything instantly, like a firefighter putting out fires. Little by little, your nervous system will get used to not releasing dopamine in response to every alert.
Finally, remember that saying “ I hate being stressed ” is perfectly compatible with being—without realizing it—hooked on stress itself. Not because you’re being inconsistent, but because stress has become a habit you no longer know how to live without. The good news is that you can break that cycle to truly regain control of your life, instead of simply letting yourself be swept away by every unexpected emergency that comes your way.
References:
Piao, X.; Xie, J. & Managi, S. (2024) Continuous worsening of population emotional stress globally: universality and variations. BMC Public Health; 24:3576.
Marinelli, M. (2007) Dopaminergic Reward Pathways and Effects of Stress. Stress and Addiction; 3: 41-83.
Pruessner, J.C. et. Al. (2004) Dopamine release in response to a psychological stress in humans: A positron emission tomography study. The Journal of Neuroscience; 24(11): 2825–2831.
Schultz, W. (1998) Predictive Reward Signal of Dopamine Neurons. Journal of Neurophysiology; 80(1): 10.1152.
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