Many people think that hot flashes and night sweats are the main symptoms women experience when approaching menopause. However, there are other signs that aren’t physically visible but can be much more difficult to cope with.
Often, menopause comes with a constant feeling of stress that seems relentless and unexplainable. You may feel overwhelmed, cry about things you previously ignored, get irritated easily, feel constantly on edge…
This state, day after day, can end up taking its toll on your well-being. Understanding what happens to you and learning how to deal with stress during menopause will allow you to better cope with this stage, instead of resigning yourself to thinking that “it’s normal” or “these are normal things for my age.”
Clarifying Ideas About Menopause and Climacteric
First and foremost, it’s important to understand that menopause marks the end of menstrual cycles and fertility. Technically, it occurs when 12 consecutive months have passed without menstruation. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Many women begin to experience symptoms much earlier, during premenopause, which can appear as early as age 40. During this stage, the first signs that the body is beginning to change appear. These symptoms often come as a surprise and are accompanied by feelings of discomfort that become increasingly frequent and intense.
This entire process is called climacteric and can last several years as it includes premenopause, perimenopause, and menopause itself. During this period, levels of estrogen, progesterone, and other hormones begin to fluctuate and then decline, causing a series of changes that affect not only the body but also mood and energy.
Some of these symptoms are well-known, such as hot flashes or loss of sex drive, but others go more unnoticed, such as stress and mood swings, so some women have a hard time understanding what’s happening to them.
Why Does Stress Increase During Menopause?
Between 15% and 50% of women experience anxiety, stress, and significant mood swings during menopause. It has also been shown that the risk of developing a major depressive episode during perimenopause is three times higher than during premenopause. These mood swings are not only influenced by hormonal fluctuations, but also by psychological and social factors.
Hormonal Changes That Alter Emotional Regulation
Estrogens not only regulate the menstrual cycle. They also play a crucial role in modulating cortisol, the stress hormone. When estrogen levels drop, cortisol tends to rise more easily and takes longer to return to normal levels. This means that a difficult situation that you could previously handle without difficulty can now overwhelm you more easily.
Furthermore, the limbic system (where emotions are processed) and the hypothalamus (involved in regulating stress and sleep) are very sensitive to hormonal changes. Therefore, it is not uncommon for symptoms of anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and a general feeling of emotional overwhelm to appear during menopause.
Fatigue and Accumulated Mental Load
Many women go through menopause at a particularly demanding time in their lives: changes in marriage and family structure, work, domestic responsibilities, aging parents who need care… As a result, the famous “double shift” becomes a “triple shift.”
This context generates chronic overload that leads to fatigue. Stress doesn’t come from a one-time crisis, but from a daily drip that saps energy. Furthermore, the decline in estrogen can also cause brain fog, memory problems, and difficulty concentrating, making it even more difficult to make effective decisions and get through daily life.
Changes in Self-Image and Identity
Menopause also touches deep nerves: the inevitable passage of time, the transformation of the body, the loss of fertility, and even the feeling of social disintegration. Many women may feel less attractive, less vital, less heard.
It’s not uncommon for many women to feel like they’re leaving behind a version of themselves they knew well, entering a stage they don’t yet fully understand. Questions arise like: Who am I now? What place do I occupy? It’s a moment of redefinition, not only aesthetically but also existentially. Some women experience it as a loss, others as a liberation. But almost all agree that their identity is being reconfigured.
This kind of identity shock can generate sadness, insecurity, or even anger. And although it’s not always expressed out loud, these changes shake up the foundations, fueling emotional stress.
Sleep Disorders
Insomnia and nighttime awakenings are common at this stage. Often caused by hot flashes or anxiety, a study conducted at the University of Michigan found that during menopause, women lose up to 25 minutes of sleep per night.
And we already know that poor sleep increases sensitivity to stress, affects memory, mood, and decision-making. Sleeping little or poorly leaves you defenseless against minor everyday challenges because you’re at half capacity. Lack of sleep is like going through life with your nerves on edge.
3 Psychological Strategies to Regain Balance
We can’t avoid menopause and everything it entails, but we can deal with this stage in a more constructive and bearable way, reducing its impact on our quality of life. In addition to taking care of their diet and staying physically active, many women are finding relief through hormone replacement therapy from Winona. This option offers personalized, bioidentical hormone treatments that can help ease symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and insomnia, making the transition into menopause feel less like a struggle and more like a shift you can handle.
Other psychological strategies that may help you are:
1. Learn to breathe consciously
It may seem simple, but breathing properly is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress. Why? Simply because breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is like the body’s handbrake and helps you relax, reduce your heart rate, and lower cortisol levels.
There are many options, from diaphragmatic breathing to progressive muscular relaxation and mindfulness meditation. Practices such as yoga and tai chi could also be very helpful in harmonizing your internal rhythms and relieving daily stress. In fact, don’t rule them out, as it has been shown that mindfulness not only relieves anxiety but can also improve hormone levels in menopausal women.
2. Train your mind not to cling to everything
The cognitive and emotional changes that occur during menopause can increase sensitivity. Many women experience heightened emotional reactivity and a tendency to ruminate, making it easier to dwell on negative thoughts and jump to the worst-case scenarios.
It’s not weakness or drama: it’s biology. Hormonal changes directly affect neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which can make you more irritable, insecure, negative, and/or anxious. In other words, your mind can exaggerate reality.
The key isn’t to stop feeling, but to learn to observe without getting caught up in every thought or emotion. How do you achieve this in practice?
• Distinguish between what you think and what’s actually happening. In other words, don’t believe everything you think. Often, the mind constructs scenarios that never occur or interprets events in a distorted way due to the emotional state of the moment. A good exercise is to ask yourself: Do I have real evidence or is it just an assumption?
• Observe your emotions without getting caught up in them. When an emotion overwhelms you, imagine it’s on a train. You don’t need to jump on every mental train that passes. Instead, you can sit on the platform and let some simply pass by.
• Redirect your attention to what you can control. Instead of getting caught up in what you can’t change (the passage of time, other people’s opinions, hormonal disruption), direct your energy toward what is within your control: how you talk to yourself, how you take care of yourself, or the thoughts and emotions you nurture.
3. Treat Yourself with Compassion
During menopause, it’s easy to become your own worst enemy. We judge ourselves for feeling different, not having the energy we used to, not being as patient, as productive, or not being as “fit” as we used to be. But the last thing you need during this period is to add more pressure. You are going through an intense period of physical, emotional, and psychological transformation. You don’t need to push yourself any further, but rather shift from judgment to compassion.
Practicing compassion isn’t about self-indulgence, victimization, or “abandoning” yourself, but rather treating yourself as you would a good friend: with understanding, tenderness, and patience. It’s about understanding that you deserve to take care of yourself, not punish yourself or push yourself to the limit. How do you put it into practice?
• Change your internal dialogue. If you’re very critical of yourself, you’re likely to tell yourself things like, “You’re overreacting,” “Get a move on,” or “You have no reason to be this way.” Replace that self-talk with phrases like, “I’m more sensitive and need to rest” or “I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”
• Take self-care breaks, without guilt. During this stage, resting, saying “no,” or delegating isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom. Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to slow down. Take at least 10 minutes a day just for you: without social networks, without obligations, without the pressure of others, without the pressure to perform. Even if it seems small, this gesture sends a powerful message to your mind: “I matter to myself.”
• Remember that you don’t have to do everything perfectly. Menopause isn’t an exam. There are good days and difficult days, and that doesn’t say anything bad about you. It’s a time to learn to embrace your limits, accept your ups and downs, and allow yourself to be unhappy without it defining your worth. Accept that you can’t do everything. And that the world won’t stop because of it.
You’re not Exaggerating; You’re Going Through a Transformation
Menopause isn’t the beginning of the end; it’s simply a profound transition that affects all levels: physical, mental, emotional, and existential. And although it sometimes seems like the world is going on as usual while you’re falling apart inside, you’re not alone, nor are you losing your mind.
The stress you feel is real. But so is your ability to adapt, take care of yourself, and emerge stronger from this period. So the next time you feel at your limit, remember to listen to yourself and treat yourself with kindness. You’re going through another life process. And like any important process, it requires time, understanding… and even more compassion.
References:
Huang, S. et. Al. (2023)Anxiety disorder in menopausal women and the intervention efficacy of mindfulness-based stress reduction. Am J Transl Res;15(3):2016-2024.
Taylor-Swanson, L. et. Al. (2018) The dynamics of stress and fatigue across menopause: attractors, coupling, and resilience. Menopause;25(4):380-390.
Santoro, N. et. Al. (2015) Menopausal Symptoms and Their Management. Endocrinol Metab Clin North Am;44(3):497-515.
Zheng, H. et. Al. (2015) Actigraphy-defined measures of sleep and movement across the menstrual cycle in midlife menstruating women: Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation Sleep Study. Menopause;22(1):66-74.
Woods, N. F. et. Al. (2000) Mitchell ES, Adams C. Memory functioning among midlife women: observations from the Seattle Midlife Women’s Health Study. Menopause;7(4):257-265.
Leave a Reply