It’s easy to say. Putting it into practice is more complicated because every day we encounter people who, whether we like it or not, share a little bit of our lives, even if it’s just for a few hours. However, that time is more than enough for us to be infected by their pessimistic, catastrophic, or discouraging thoughts. Obviously, we can’t avoid these people, we can’t become hermits, but we can limit their access to our lives.
Cultivate your friendships as you would a garden
No one wants to be surrounded by people who sabotage their personal growth. We all wish to surround ourselves with people who contribute, with whom we can share good experiences. Obviously, we must keep in mind that interpersonal relationships are not black and white. There will be times when a person can affect our well-being, and others when they will more than compensate.
No one is completely bad or completely good, but we must remain vigilant to avoid unnecessary emotional damage. Therefore, we might begin to think of our interpersonal relationships as if they were a garden. There are weeds that need to be eradicated, and there are plants that, while beautiful, simply don’t fit the style or space of our garden.
Of course, it’s not about weighing people against others or adopting an arrogant and dismissive attitude, but simply about growing up and learning to choose our friends more wisely. There are wonderful people who simply don’t fit with us because they don’t share our philosophy of life, or because they distort us too much from our essence.
It’s not about seeking a perfect relationship where everything is harmonious and peaceful, because we also learn from conflict; differing opinions allow us to grow and enrich ourselves. When we refer to people who add value to our lives, we are talking about people who:
– They love us when we least deserve it, because they know that’s when we need it most.
– They support us when everyone else says our plan is crazy.
– They don’t say what we want to hear, but what we need to hear, so we can recognize our mistakes and grow.
– They don’t criticize us, but rather help us bring out the best in ourselves.
– They don’t fill us with stereotypes, but rather help us open our minds.
Who are the detracting people?
The people who detract are those who damage your self-esteem, those who always have a problem for every solution, those who are quick to criticize whatever you do, those who instill fear in us, and those who increase the level of uncertainty.
The people who subtract are those who bring out the worst in us, because through their attitudes they promote indecision, immobility, and fear.
Subtractive people are rigid in their attitudes, leave no room for error, and set themselves up as judges of your life, making you feel small and inadequate instead of unique and special.
People who subtract act like emotional vampires, sucking your energy dry, infecting you with their pessimism, and preventing you from growing.
10 keys to becoming a person who adds to the lives of others
Of course, it’s not just important to surround ourselves with people who contribute; it’s also essential to ensure that we can also contribute to the lives of others. To achieve this:
1. Make the person next to you feel special.
2. Help him find solutions, don’t add worries.
3. Challenge your stereotypes, broaden your perspective.
4. Give him a surprise that will bring a smile of happiness to his face.
5. Support him whenever he needs it, especially if others turn their backs on him.
6. Transmit security and confidence when their world is about to come crashing down.
7. Feed their dreams and illusions, don’t kill them.
8. Encourage her to be authentic, and let her know that you accept her as she is.
9. Share what you have learned, enrich their world.
10. Connect emotionally, from your essence.
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