Remember what made you feel special when you were a child? It is likely that those moments you shared with your parents were when you felt loved and accepted. However, 70% of today’s parents claim to have little time to play with their children. According to a study by the Children’s Play Observatory, children spend only 10% of their time with their parents, although 60% of the younger want their parents to share time with them. So, when we spend time with children, it’s important to make sure it’s quality time.
The infinite solitude of children
“It came the night, but the boy was struggling against sleep, he wanted to be awake because waiting for his dad. His malicious eyes were closing when the door of the room opened.
– Dad, can I ask you a question?
– Yes, sure.
– Dad, how much money do you earn in one hour? He asked with his eyes wide open.
His father, angry and tired, answered sharply.
– This is not your business, why do you ask me?
– I just wanted to know, please tell me how much you earn in an hour?
The father replied bothered.
-100 Euros per hour.
The child became sad.
– So, can I ask you to lend me 50 Euros?
The father became furious.
– If you wanted to know how much I earn to ask for money and buy a stupid toy then stay in your room, do not go out and think about why you’re so selfish. I work hard every day and I do not like having to deal with such a childish behavior.
The child remained silent. The father came out of the room wondering how his son might have asked him this.
The next morning, when he was quieter, he realized that he did not really know why his son asked him for money. After all, the baby did not ask for money so often. So before he left for work he asked him:
– Maybe I was too tough with you. Yesterday I had a hard day’s work. Here are the 50 Euros you asked for.
The baby smiled radiant.
– Oh, thank you daddy!
– He ran into his room and returned with several coins and a few crumpled notes. His father, seeing that the boy already had some money, turned angry again. The boy slowly counted his money, and then looked at his father.
– Why do you want more money if you already have enough?
– Because I did not have enough, but now yes, he said with enthusiasm. – Dad, I now have 100 Euros. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please try to get home early today, I’d like to play and dine with you.
His father broke his heart. He hug his son and asked him to forgive him.”
Remember that the best way to invest our time is to do it in the family, with the people next to us and in our hearts. If we die tomorrow, in a few days someone will replace us at work, but for the family and the children we leave behind, it will be an eternal loss. Enhance the time you spend with your family, because there is nothing more precious. And be sure to let your children know how much you love them.
It is not enough to love, it is necessary to prove this feeling
1. Turn off the phone. When you come home, switch off the phone and spend at least half an hour with your children. The little ones will be very happy to know that they have the utmost attention, without being distracted by the messages. In fact, 33% of children complain that their parents spend most of their time on the phone. Giving them the utmost care will ensure that every minute is worth it. That way you’re telling them that for you are very important.
2. Turn off the TV and all devices during meals. When the whole family is sitting at the table, it is important that nothing compete for the attention of parents and children, such as TV commercials or incoming messages. At the table you can create very pleasant moments, in addition, disconnecting all the devices will allow you to enjoy more of the food and the company.
3. Make sure the time to go to sleep is magical. Small children, in particular, will have precious memories of those minutes when you cover up the blankets and read them a story. This habit is not only comforting, but also creates a very special and intimate bond and reading also stimulates children’s brain development.
4. Do not miss kisses, hugs, and caresses. Children need physical contact, especially when they are small. Through kisses, hugs and caresses you show them love and affection. The benefits of hugs are enormous and stimulate the production of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin, which will make them feel more relaxed and enhance the confidence and emotional bond. A child who feels loved will be a child who loves and believes in himself, who is not ashamed to show his affection.
5. Talk to him looking into his eyes. The best way to communicate with children is to look straight at the eyes. Visual contact is very important because it catches the attention, which is usually widespread in the early years. It also allows you to establish a more personal connection. So, when children are small, it is advisable for parents to get close to talk to them, so to be at their level.
6. Make him take part in the decision making process. Many parents believe that their children are too immature to decide. Although it is true that they do not have a lot of life experience, this does not mean they do not have their tastes and preferences. Therefore, as far as possible, ask their opinion on the decisions that concern them. So the child will feel appreciated and will develop a healthy self-esteem, and in the future will be a secure person that will not allow others to decide for him.
7. Play with him. One of the most beautiful memories of childhood is related to play. Even if children grow up and have their teammates, the pleasure of playing with their parents can’t be replaced. It is interesting to note that many children said that they felt their parents did too many things and their days were too programmed. Sometimes you have to spend time together just to play and have fun, without any plan, letting everything flow naturally. In fact, the game does not only benefit children, but also parents, because it helps them relieve stress and forget about everyday worries.
8. Offer you small signs of affection. There must be no a reason to tell your son you love him. Do not get tired of telling it and always offer small signs of affection. Write nice notes, offer small gifts made with your hands… This way the child will learn to appreciate even the small details.
9. Celebrate his achievements and efforts. Never denigrate his results, whether small, celebrate them and encourage him to continue striving. However, remember that praising him too much can ruin his self-esteem, so it is essential to give importance to his efforts rather than his basic abilities. This is one of the greatest gifts you can make to him in his life.
10. Discipline with love. Children need some rules and laws as these help them to stay safe and make sense of their world and tell them what you expect from them. But you must make sure you punish the bad behavior, not your child. Never condition your love to his behavior with phrases like “if you become a bad kid I won’t love you anymore”. Tell him you love him, even though what he did is wrong. It is possible to discipline with love.