Finding someone who looks in the same direction as us, who loves and supports us, can lead us on the most wonderful adventure of our lives. However, when we don’t find the “right” person, a relationship can become a real nightmare that ultimately makes us very unhappy. Therefore, it’s important not to give up and to seek in a relationship the things we truly deserve. Obviously, we must also be willing to give ourselves with the same intensity.
What do we deserve from a relationship?
1. Someone who provides us with security. It’s not about financial security, but rather the certainty that we can count on that person when we need them most. It’s the security of knowing we have someone by our side who won’t abandon us when things get tough. It’s knowing we’ll have a hand holding ours when everyone else fails us. That feeling of security is, quite simply, priceless.
2. Someone who gets excited when they see us. Even after years of being together, those butterflies in our stomachs shouldn’t disappear when we’re around our loved one. We should feel happy and excited to find our partner; our eyes should sparkle when we see them. Their arrival should be like sunshine brightening a bad day, not clouds bringing down a downpour. And we should expect the other person to feel the same.
3. Someone to go on adventures with. There are exciting places to discover, new cultures to explore, new people to meet, and new passions to develop. Discovering new things keeps us alive. And we can discover them alone, but it would be much better if our partner joined us on those adventures. Because only when we share experiences do we create bonds that last a lifetime.
4. Someone who respects us. It’s not about finding someone who thinks and feels like us, but someone flexible enough to understand our ideas and feelings, even if they don’t share them. In a relationship, we should expect the other person to respect our individuality. Our partner shouldn’t want to change us but should respect our decisions and beliefs and love us as we are.
5. Someone who makes us grow. In a stable and mature relationship, each person admires the other but, at the same time, motivates and supports them to grow. We deserve an open-minded person at our side, who encourages us to always go beyond our limits and motivates us to bring out our best selves. A relationship isn’t about losing, but about both of you winning and growing. Find someone who allows you to bring out the best version of yourself.
6. Someone who has small, everyday gestures. The small details are what nourish a relationship day after day. We deserve someone who knows what we like and who strives to make us happy through those small details that mean a lot to us. Those everyday gestures are the true proof of love.
7. Someone who listens to us. When we’re having a bad day and everything’s going wrong, we simply need a shoulder to lean on; we need someone who will listen and comfort us. We also need someone who shares our dreams and doesn’t think they’re silly but supports them. Without communication and empathy, no couple gets very far.
8. Someone who gives us freedom. In a healthy relationship, both partners are aware that the other is an independent person who needs freedom. Therefore, we need someone who loves us but also lets us be free, someone who is mature enough to respect our space and not be jealous of our new friends. For a relationship to last over the years, it is essential that both partners know when to become one and when to be two.
9. Someone who trusts us. Every relationship is based on trust; when one partner doesn’t trust the other, the relationship is doomed to fail. That’s why we need someone who won’t mind if we arrive a little later than usual and who isn’t afraid to share a bank account. Because love means letting go, trusting that the other will hold us up.
10. Someone who’s our best friend. We deserve someone who has our back when we get into trouble, someone we can share our deepest secrets with and with whom we can reveal ourselves as we truly are, without artifice. Someone who laughs with us and understands what we’re going through just by looking at us, someone who’s not just a lover but also a friend.
We deserve someone who is convinced that we are “their person,” among the 7 billion people in the world. And when you find them, don’t let them go.
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