Throughout life we experience different emotions and feelings but there is one that marks us deeply: suffering. We can suffer from a physical injury that causes pain but we can also feel bad as a result of a disappointment, a heartbreak, a loss… No matter our age, some problems tend to appear without warning and hit us with all their force.
The truth is that no one is immune to suffering but it is vital that we know how to face and manage it because otherwise, it can become a state that accompanies us everywhere, it becomes chronic and envelops us in a shell of pain that prevents us from enjoying life. In fact, there are more and more psychologists convinced that suffering can also become addictive, these are those people whose first thought as soon as they wake up is painful and that sensation accompanies them throughout the day.
Stop suffering is in our hands
Is it possible to avoid suffering? No! Sometimes suffering is part of a process that we must go through to emerge stronger, as is the case of grieving the loss of a loved one. Suffering also makes us stronger and helps us accept the new reality.
Obviously, suffering is not turned off by pressing a switch that returns us to serenity and emotional balance, but that does not mean that we should abandon ourselves to its spider web. Suffering cannot always be avoided but it can be managed in a more constructive way and we can control its consequences.
You must keep in mind that when life hits us with disappointments, tragedies and disenchantment, it is normal for us to feel shaken by the impact of these situations and we will feel pain for some time. However, only for a limited period in which we must dive within ourselves.
In fact, suffering is made up of several layers, like an onion, and as each layer is peeled off, tears come. It is something natural, they are the phases that we must overcome: denial, dejection, anger, guilt, self-criticism, resignation, rationalization…
However, to stop suffering, there must be a will to overcome, to know that today we are bad but that we are taking a step towards a tomorrow that will be better. When we accept suffering as part of emotional learning, we remove much of its evil power over us.
The denial trap
A very important aspect that you must keep in mind is that to “be well” you cannot fall into denial. If you have failed, admit your mistake, if your relationship is not going well, recognize it and avoid unnecessary suffering. Do not deny what has happened because that will only serve to delay emotional healing.
We all have different “personas” within us. For example, on the one hand there is the person who observes and, on the other hand, the person who experiences. Identify these parts that coexist inside you because the observer is the key to healing as they will help you understand what is happening (not only around you but also inside you).
Therefore, observe yourself, let the emotions flow and ask yourself what you can do to feel better, to stop suffering. The answer is in you. Strive every day to leave useless suffering behind, do not put your finger on the sore preventing it from healing. Accept the suffering, live it, and then get over it.
