It was 1992 when American psychologist Emmy Werner became interested in a special ability that only a few people developed. Without further ado, she set about studying 698 children living in Kauai, one of the islands of the Hawaiian archipelago.
All of these children suffered economic deprivation because they came from poor families, but a third of them had an even worse time, having grown up in dysfunctional families. After 30 years, many of these children, as adults, developed various psychological and social problems, behaved more aggressively and became delinquent.
However, one in three children not only did not develop any mental problems, but their condition improved and they became emotionally stable. These children became competent, confident and caring adults.
This was the first research to be carried out in the field of resilience, but it was not the only one. Several other studies followed, and they all showed the same thing: while some people succumb to adversity, others become stronger and grow. The past can simply be a burden that we carry around, or, on the contrary, it can become a source of experience that motivates us to change.
The law of cause and effect: A lie that keeps us tied to the past
The Western mind is deeply influenced by the law of cause and effect. This is a universal law that almost everyone knows and that we apply automatically every time we think. According to this law, everything that happens in the present has a cause in the past. For example, if we have a cold it is because we were exposed to the cold three days ago. If a person is depressed it is because they have experienced certain situations that have led them to that state.
In this way, everything can be explained on the basis of the past. However, the truth is that a person can also become ill because there is something in his future that disturbs him and that he wants to avoid. In this case, the body and mind have been determined by the future; it was not the cause that determined the effect, but rather the goal.
If we strictly follow the principle of cause and effect, we would have to assume that the past is stronger than us, that it inexorably determines our present. However, instead of assuming that some things simply exist because they have always existed, instead of looking for answers in the past, sometimes we should look further into the future.
This is a radical change of perspective, which scares many, because in this way the future takes center stage, we learn to focus on the objective, rather than looking for excuses in the past to stay in the comfort zone. In this way, whatever you have been up to this point, is part of the past and does not have to determine your present or your future.
Of course, stopping thinking in terms of cause and effect does not mean that the past will be erased, it continues to exist, but we take away its power, we prevent it from controlling our future.
Today the same as yesterday, tomorrow the same as today
To understand the enormous influence that the past has on our daily lives, we only need to think about the way we make decisions. When we find ourselves in a confusing situation, the first thing we do is look to the past, looking for similar situations, to copy the answer we have already given.
When we come to a fork in the road, where we must take one direction or another, right or left, the first thing we do is look back, to the past, as if it could show us the way. It is something we do every day, and every day we tend to choose the path we already know, the same one we took yesterday, by simple inertia.
It is true that in this way we can save a lot of time and resources but, at the same time, adopting a solution from the past implies limiting the universe of our possibilities, it implies staying in the comfort zone, where we feel safe but do not grow.
When we look to the past to make choices, we are merely confirming the world we already know. However, if we dare to break free from its influence and choose something different, we have the possibility to change, we can defy adversity and grow.
The past as a lever for building the future
The past exists and, in a certain way, it has contributed to making you the person you are today. However, that does not mean that it should continue to condition your decisions and your life. The past has allowed you to accumulate experiences, but you are not only your experiences. In fact, we are much more than a story, because what is truly important is the potential that we have on our horizon.
In fact, the true greatness of the children of Kauai lies in their understanding that their childhood experiences did not have to determine their future. These children did not use their past as a mold to continue making decisions, but instead turned it into a lever to propel themselves forward and build a better future.
When you realize that the past does not have to be a determining factor in your future, when you learn to make decisions motivated by what you really want and not by what you are supposed to do, simply because you did it yesterday, a practically infinite universe of possibilities opens up before you. You just have to have the courage to explore it and bring out the best in you.
Reference:
Werner, E. (1993) Risk resilience and recovery: Perspectives from the kauai longitudinal study. Development and Psychopathology ; 5: 503-515.
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