Childhood leaves its mark on us for life. If you listen carefully, you will realize that many of the phrases in your inner dialogue are ideas that your parents passed on to you. This conversation with ourselves can be positive and can encourage us by reminding us how much we are worth, or, on the contrary, it can be limiting and deeply damage our self-esteem. That is why it is so important that you pay attention to the way in which you relate to your child.
Less material gifts, more emotional gifts
As we grew older, we began to equate happiness with material possessions. And because we wanted our children to be happy, we made sure to give them everything they asked for and even more. However, in the process of buying more and better quality things, we got into a vicious cycle that forced us to spend more hours at work. As a result, our time with our children was reduced and when we returned home, we were too exhausted or stressed to be able to show our best face. That is why the best gifts we can give a child are emotional gifts.
1. Love, lots of love
Children are very susceptible to rejection, since during their first years of life there is nothing more important than the acceptance of their parents. Unfortunately, there are still those who think that it is better not to show emotions, since these are a sign of weakness. However, in early childhood education, detachment is often devastating and can create a dependent and insecure person. On the contrary, when the child grows up knowing that he is loved, he will develop a healthy self-esteem and will feel comfortable with himself. That is why hugs, cuddles and words of affection should be a daily part of any home.
2. Quality time
A recent study in the United Kingdom revealed worrying data: families spend less and less quality time together. After interviewing more than 2,000 parents, they discovered that they spend just over half an hour a day with their children. What is quality time? That moment in which we are fully present and we dedicate ourselves solely to enjoying each other’s company. More time with our children means organizing activities where both of you can have fun, talk and strengthen the emotional bond that unites you. In the long run, those are the moments that count the most, the ones that will remain engraved in our memory, both for you and for the little one.
3. Unconditional acceptance
Children do not come with an instruction manual under their arm. Parenting is something that is learned in fits and starts, by making mistakes and correcting them. One of the most delicate and delicate issues is reprimanding negative behavior. The phrase: “I don’t love you because you have been a bad child” should be completely erased from the vocabulary. You must reprove the behavior, not the person. The child must know that he has done something wrong, so you will be helping him correct his mistakes, but he must also know that, despite that, you love him. Unconditional acceptance transmits security and confidence and, contrary to what many think, does not create spoiled or disobedient children.
4. Safe boundaries
Children need boundaries. These give meaning to their world, allow them to guide their behaviour and feel more confident. When they are young, the environment around them is completely new and can be disconcerting or even frightening, especially if they have to make decisions for which they are not psychologically mature enough or face consequences for which they are not psychologically prepared. Boundaries allow them to know what to do in certain situations and, with this script in mind, they can act more confidently, experiencing a feeling of containment and protection. Remember that a child without boundaries is not a happy child.
5. Consistency pills
Educational inconsistency is one of the worst bets parents can make. When you say one thing today and another the next day, the child feels confused and, in the long run, will not respect your decisions because he knows that you can quickly change your mind. On the other hand, you will be giving him a terrible example since you will not transmit values such as perseverance, the importance of keeping promises and the need to keep the decisions made. Being consistent in education transmits to the child the security he needs and fosters trust in his parents, leaving him space to do what he does best: enjoy his childhood.
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