There is a popular parable that states that if we put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will jump and escape because it immediately perceives the threat. However, if we place it in a pot of cold water and slowly increase the temperature, it will not escape, with the dire consequences that this entails. In short, we would end up with a boiled frog in the pot, something that, in addition to not being pleasant to see, is also not an entirely interesting prospect for the frog.
There are those who claim that these experiments were actually carried out, back in the 19th century, and that they demonstrated that this story has a real foundation. Today we are not so sure that it is true and I do not intend to verify its veracity either, but the story itself is interesting because it gives us cause to reflect on how we face changes when they occur gradually.
In fact, it may be that at some point in your life you have found yourself doing things that you previously thought were impossible because they do not correspond to your value system. In these cases, two things may have happened: 1. You have found yourself in an exceptional situation and have had to assume exceptional behavior or, 2. You have changed so gradually that you have not even realized it.
Today you give in a little, tomorrow you give in a little more and in this way you move the mental bars that you had placed. Obviously, this is not always bad, in fact, it is an excellent strategy to achieve a change because it makes the process less traumatic, but it is important that we remain attentive, especially if someone else controls the temperature of the water because it could go wrong and, by the time we realize it, it would be too late.
How to avoid becoming a boiled frog?
1. Look back every once in a while
It’s not bad to look back from time to time to understand how we were and how we are now. This introspection exercise is very beneficial because it will not only be a warning signal that will indicate the temperature of the water but will also allow us to know precisely where we are on the path, how far we have traveled and how much we still have to go.
3. Do you like yourself?
It’s not a rhetorical question, when you look back in time, ask yourself if you like that new “you.” Have you become a more confident and happy person or, on the contrary, are you more insecure and unhappy than before? If you don’t like what you see, perhaps it’s time to reconsider how you got there and what to do to keep the path from continuing downhill.
3. What control do you exercise over your life?
It is not a trivial question because people who are often involved in situations like what happened to the frog do not realize that they are gradually losing control over their lives. It is common for another person, who may be a partner, a parent or even a boss, to take control. Therefore, evaluate the last important decisions you have made in your life and think about how much the people around you may have influenced them. Remember that it is one thing to take into account their opinions and needs and another totally different thing is to submit to their desires while ignoring our own needs.
