Deadlines and overly ambitious objectives usually generate a lot of tension at work but this is not the only reason why we get stressed in the work environment, sometimes the problem comes from interpersonal relationships, from those people who behave like “emotional vampires”.
Basically, emotional vampires are people who are psychologically immature but are experts at absorbing the energy of others through emotional manipulation. They are generally incapable of being empathetic with those around them, have poor control over their emotions, and find it difficult to put into practice basic rules of social courtesy.
These types of people cause problems in the groups in which they are inserted and have a strong tendency to invade the personal space of others. Additionally, emotional vampires have a hard time understanding the word “no,” so attempts to dissuade them from their goals often fall on deaf ears.
As you might imagine, having to deal with this type of people is complex, which is why we usually end up angry, anxious, overwhelmed and irritated just by their presence. However, since you probably can’t change jobs, it is better to learn to deal with these people by reserving your strength. How to do it?
5 strategies to deal with emotional vampires
1. Learn to recognize warning signs. If you are facing a coworker who is not very trustworthy and you have a visceral feeling that something is not quite right, listen to your inner voice and be attentive to the slightest sign. Emotional vampires take advantage of the fact that we beat ourselves up for having hesitated when the other person hasn’t done anything yet. Obviously, it is not about classifying him as an “undesirable” but it is important that you stay attentive. You know what the popular saying goes: “a warned war does not kill a soldier.”
2. Set limits. Emotional vampires are true masters at evading the limits of others, especially when they are a little confusing. Therefore, avoid being too nice and empathetic with them, especially when you do not agree with their points of view. Make sure your refusal is strong and clear enough otherwise they will completely ignore your opinion and needs.
3. Don’t share personal information. With emotional vampires, any personal information you share could backfire on you. Remember that one of their main characteristics is that they are expert manipulators and if they have valuable information, they will not hesitate to use it against you to gain advantage or launch emotional blackmail.
4. Set limits in communication. In extraverbal communication, the distance that separates us from the other person as well as our posture expresses a lot about us. Being too close can indicate intimacy and trust, but if we stay a little away it means that, at that precise moment, we are putting a limit on the relationship. Likewise, we must maintain a relaxed posture that indicates that we feel confident in ourselves, so that we convey the message that we cannot be manipulated.
5. If you can’t face the situation, find a way out. It is quite unlikely that the person who behaves like an emotional vampire will change and suddenly begin to be someone responsible and concerned about the well-being of others. In fact, most likely the opposite will happen because he will become angry when he realizes that he cannot manipulate you. When you notice that “you can’t take it anymore”, leave the place. That is, if you’re in the office, go out and take a walk or head to another department. If you can’t get away from your workplace, listen to some music, it will help you release tension.
Finally, remember that only what we give power to impacts us.
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