Today we live with a new generation that feels entitled to everything. They believe that they inherently deserve special treatment or certain privileges over others. Duties, obviously, are a different story.
More and more young people take for granted that exemptions are available to them and assume that the others must be more permissive and understanding with them, stretching the boundaries to the limit just to accommodate their demands. They expect deadlines, requirements and duties to be completely negotiable, as if they believe “they deserve rewards before they work to earn them,” as Calvina Ellerbe, a psychologist and university professor who has seen this trend in her classroom, put it.
The roots of that sense of entitlement
In recent years, older generations have criticized Millennials and Gen Z for having an undeserved sense of entitlement. However, it is all too easy to point the finger of blame at others and absolve oneself of all blame. This is not to condemn or criticize young people, since, after all, their worldview is just a reflection of the world they live in and, above all, the upbringing they have received.
When parents treat children as “fragile objects” and try to protect them at all costs by placing them at the center of their lives, they not only prevent them from developing the skills to face the real world but they also develop unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement that ends up violating the rights of others.
Parenting has changed – with good and bad results. Many parents have become accustomed to giving, giving and giving more, so that their children practically see them as “personal vending machines” and expect everyone else to behave in the same way. Many children, adolescents and young people have too many expectations, but little appreciation. They demand rights, but do not want to fulfill duties.
Many of these young people have largely grown up in the Mr. Wonderful era, hearing that they can take on the world. But beyond the positive and motivating phrases, they have not been prepared for all the effort, discipline and setbacks that the road to success is paved with.
As a result, many expect life to be made easy for them. And they feel entitled to it. Not only do they expect the others to adapt to their needs, they demand it. This generation has grown up with parents who are concerned about not damaging their self-esteem, forgetting that it is better to develop self-efficacy than to have an inflated self-esteem by exaggerated praise that only leads to a distorted view of their real capabilities.
On the other hand, social media – where they spend a lot of their time – has not helped either. On the contrary, it gives the impression that fame and fortune can be achieved easily and quickly, so more and more young people are looking for that kind of instant gratification, forgetting about the effort, sacrifice and perseverance that goes into it.
And now what?
The new generations also have great things and their vision can undoubtedly produce positive changes in the way we relate and are in the world, but feeling more entitled than others is not one of those positive things. Therefore, it is time to stop and reflect in order to correct the course for future generations.
Our job as parents or educators is not simply to raise children, sparing them from all possible problems, but to educate independent adults who know how to live together with respect for others, adults who defend their rights, but who are also willing to assume their duties.
We must hold our children accountable. We must let them fall so they learn to get back up. We must let them achieve some things through their own efforts. But above all, we must raise them with a mindset of gratitude. Raising children to be grateful can counteract that sense of entitlement by instilling in them the importance of appreciation and humility.
Obviously, raising grateful and responsible children in a world that seems to be going against it requires extra intentional effort. However, when we avoid excessive accommodation and empty praise to engage children in activities that foster discipline and appreciation of the little things, we are on the right track.
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to not raising entitled people, as it not only prepares children to better appreciate life, but also to be more resilient, aware of themselves and the needs of others, and able to face challenges with grace and humility.
