The mobile always in hand. Zero calls. There is a generation “glued” to the mobile phone, but they are unable to use the phone in the old-fashioned way. The mere thought of having to call them causes them great anxiety and they tend to avoid all calls, including those from their parents. However, what at first glance may seem simply a matter of personal preference, actually has profound psychological implications.
Typing is better than speaking
In the past, being “born with a loaf of bread under your arm” was equivalent to having good fortune, more opportunities or hope than most mortals. Today, it seems that children are born with a “mobile phone under their arm.” In fact, the generations that have been born and raised with this technology are known as “digital natives,” but within them there is a particular cohort, the millennials and generation Z, who are part of what is already called the “silent generation.”
Today, 75% of millennials avoid phone calls. They say they do so because they are time-consuming and ineffective, but there is much more to that excuse. These people are deeply uncomfortable with traditional phone calls for a variety of psychological reasons.
- Speaking is much riskier than writing
Spoken words cannot be erased. There is no turning back and no time to reflect. The silent generation knows that they can dominate the situation through a screen, but they feel they lose control in a direct exchange. Unlike text messages, where we can take a little time to think, compose and edit our words, a call requires us to respond in real time.
That lack of control over the flow of conversation can be overwhelming, especially for those who tend to overanalyze their social interactions. On the other hand, calls are a passage into the unknown – you can’t know how long they will last – so they don’t fit with the expectations of a generation that wants to communicate quickly and get direct answers, while preserving the freedom to engage or break contact whenever they want.
- Fear of judgment and being vulnerable
Another reason for phone call rejection has to do with emotional vulnerability. On a call, we share not only our words, but also our tone of voice, pauses, and silences. These elements convey emotions and moods that we cannot always control. For many people, this level of exposure is simply too intimate, which makes them anxious.
What if the other person notices that I’m nervous? What if I make a mistake or say something I shouldn’t? These questions, as trivial as they may seem, can be paralyzing for the silent generation. Fear of rejection, criticism, or showing vulnerability are universal, and on a call, those fears are amplified because there is no protection offered by a screen.
- Sensory overload and social fatigue
We live in a world full of digital stimuli. Notifications, emails, messages, social media… Our attention is constantly divided, which can lead to a state of sensory overload. Calls, by requiring full attention, can be perceived as an additional demand on a psychological system that is already working at its limit.
Unlike texting, which allows for pauses and reflection, a phone call requires a level of energy and focus that we don’t always have or are willing to give. When our social battery is depleted, the mere thought of facing a phone call is draining. That’s why the silent generation tends to avoid calls like the plague.
- Intrusion into privacy
The silent generation has earned this nickname not only because they are reluctant to answer calls, but also because they tend to keep their phones on mute all the time. Young people consider calls to be disruptive because they come at any time and can interrupt what they are doing.
Many people even get annoyed by them because they see them as arrogant. That is, they think that the person calling them assumes that they can be interrupted at any time because their needs are more important. This belief generates a negative reaction to the call, causing them to resort to excuses such as “I didn’t hear you” or “I had no coverage.” Basically, the silent generation perceives the person calling as an intruder or an arrogant busybody.
When words get stuck on screens
The use of social media and messaging platforms has displaced conventional calls, changing the way we interact and the way we respond to closer contact, which we try to avoid at all costs. The silent generation prefers to hide behind a keyboard. It has normalized contact through the screen and the absence of direct communication.
Asynchronous communication has certainly accustomed us to responding when we feel ready. This type of interaction gives us a sense of security, because it allows us to control the pace and content of our conversations. However, we must be aware that this “comfort” comes at a cost – and it is often high.
Virtual contact can end up becoming a way to postpone or even minimize face-to-face contact. By avoiding real-time interactions, we miss the opportunity to practice and develop essential social skills, such as active listening or improvisation in a conversation.
In fact, written communication – although useful in certain circumstances – lacks many emotional nuances. A text message does not convey the tone of voice, the pauses, the laughter or the silences that give meaning to a conversation.
Over time, this can lead to a kind of “social atrophy,” so that not only phone calls but also face-to-face interactions are perceived as unknown and threatening territory.
Avoiding more personal contacts can lead to emotional isolation. As a result, relationships become colder and more superficial. We thus lose the ability to connect authentically with others, because we get used to hiding behind screens. And, although it may seem contradictory, in a world where we are all “connected”, we will feel lonelier than ever.
As if that weren’t enough, constant phone avoidance reinforces the cycle of anxiety. In fact, 81% of millennials admit to feeling apprehensive and anxious before they muster the courage to make a call. The problem is that every time we avoid a scary situation, our brain interprets it as something really dangerous. That way, the next time we have to make a call, the anxiety will be even greater. It’s a vicious cycle that traps us in our own bubble of discomfort.
How to break out of the silent generation loop and reconnect directly?
The goal isn’t to demonize technology or give up texting. The key is to find a balance. In the end, communication is what makes us human. And even though screens have taught us to “hide” and give us an illusory sense of security and control, there is always something magical about direct interactions.
You can start by taking small steps: making a short call to a loved one, practicing less “threatening” calls, such as ordering a pizza instead of ordering it through an app, or simply saying hello to a stranger in the elevator. These actions will help you regain confidence in your voice and remind you that communication goes beyond written words.
Technology is not an enemy, but it should not be our only way of connecting. Recovering the ability to speak, to look into each other’s eyes and to express ourselves authentically is a gift that brings us back to our humanity. Because in the end, communicating is not just about exchanging words, but about truly connecting. And that connection, the one felt in the voice, in the look and in the gestures, is something that no screen can replace.
So maybe it’s time to stop being the silent generation and start reclaiming the words that have been stuck on screens.
Reference:
Turner, A. (2024) Why millennials hate talking on the phone ‘generation mute’ millennials phone call statistics. In: Bankmycell.
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