Over the weekend, while you’re relaxing on the sofa, reflecting on your present and future existence, you’ll probably resolve that next Monday (no matter what) you’ll start going to the gym… Or finally go on a diet… Or stick to a more decent work schedule… Or call that person and set things straight… Or just take things easier…
On Monday you wake up full of energy, ready to take on the world and stick to your plans, but by Tuesday you’re already feeling a bit tired. On Wednesday something unexpected happens that throws you off balance, and by Thursday, completely drained, you go back to doing exactly the same things you were doing before.
So you think you lack motivation. But maybe that’s not the problem.
Motivation helps you get started, habits help you keep going
We’ve been told repeatedly that if we want to achieve something, we need a large dose of motivation (intrinsic, if possible). However, we haven’t been told that motivation has an “uncomfortable” characteristic: it fluctuates. It depends on sleep, stress, what happened to us that day, our mood, and even how much effort we imagine something will require.
Therefore, despite all the publicity it receives, it’s not the most suitable candidate to become the driving force behind repeated behavior. In fact, if you’ve resolved to go for a walk every day and before leaving you ask yourself if you feel like it or are motivated, you’ll be negotiating with yourself seven times a week.
And when we’re tired, our brain is usually a pretty skilled negotiator, looking for excuses to stay in its comfort zone and expend less energy. This is how we get excuses like “It’s too cold today,” “I’ll have more time tomorrow,” or the ever-popular “Missing one day won’t hurt.”
And no, one day won’t hurt. Our brain is right. The problem is that it’s almost never just one day.
Habits reduce precisely that constant negotiation. We don’t need to decide every time whether to do something or not; we simply move forward with the inertia of a decision we consciously made at the time and have now automated. And that changes things considerably.
The secret is not having more willpower, but needing less
Repeated behavior requires less conscious effort. At first, you’ll have to remember and make an effort. Obviously. But then (around 21 days) you start to associate it with certain cues in your environment: a time, a place, a previous action… These cues act as triggers, activating you without you having to constantly negotiate with yourself.
In fact, habits not only modify what we do, but also how much we have to think before doing it. People who maintain certain routines don’t necessarily have extraordinary discipline; often they’ve simply managed to stop arguing with themselves about certain decisions, which allows them to get going quickly or say “no” to temptations that arise along the way. And every decision we manage to automate saves us a small amount of mental energy.
However, there’s another, less obvious but equally important aspect of habits: they provide us with feedback. Every time we accomplish something we set out to do, even something small, we’re boosting our sense of self-efficacy. And that empowers us and, interestingly, fuels our motivation to continue repeating that behavior or to set more ambitious goals.
Therefore, you don’t always need a colossal dose of motivation to get started. Sometimes, a simple decision and the creation of a habit are enough; the motivation (not the motive, as they are two different concepts) can emerge along the way.
Ultimately, the life we lead is made up more of small, everyday habits than grand, epic transformations. Finding motivation is helpful, but it’s far more useful to consciously cultivate the habits that will allow us to live the life we desire and bring us closer to the person we aspire to become.
That’s why it’s best to stop asking ourselves if we’re motivated today. The question could be different: “What habit should I build to do what I want even when I’m not motivated?” Because motivation can open the door, but over time, it’s your habits that determine the path you end up taking.
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