Life is made up of decisions. In fact, we take decisions continuously, since we open our eyes until we go to bed, some decisions are trivial, others are more important. But all have an impact on our lives, although we are not always able to catch a glimpse of their consequences.
Every decision involves always choosing something, so there will always be something we should give up. Each decision leads us in one direction, away from the other one; we cannot escape the Butterfly Effect. So, when we get to a certain point in our lives we should begin to decide more consciously.
Never miss an opportunity because the others don’t like it
The society imposes on us its rules starting from childhood. Then we learn early on that we have to do what the others expect us to do. When we are young we depend on the approval of parents, later by that of teachers, classmates and friends and later colleagues at work. With the passage of time that network becomes more intricate until it wraps us like a spider web. Even if we are able to notice its existence and learn how to escape from it.
In fact, the problem arises when we want others to give us a pat on the back for our decisions. So sometimes we make the mistake of choosing what the others want ignoring what really satisfies us. We let ourselves miss the opportunities that would make us happy just because the others do not like it.
This way, decision after decision, we finish building a life that does not satisfy us only to meet the standards imposed by the society. This means often being tied to a city that we do not like just because we were born there or have a job we don’t like, attend people with whom we have nothing in common and being obsessively concerned about our look.
However, living this way is the surest way to accumulate regrets and become chronically unhappy.
Sometimes thinking about yourself is not selfish, but a matter of self-defense
In the journey of life we often accompany many people. We must try not to hurt them, respect their decisions and, when possible, reach agreements that allow us to look in the same direction. This means that when we make a decision we must also consider how it will affect these people.
But one thing is to be sensitive and considerate, and another is succumbing to wishes and expectations of others. There are persons so possessive that can suffocate us, in this case thinking about ourselves and choose what makes us truly happy is not selfish, but a matter of self-defense.
In addition, if there is something that we owe to ourselves is just to be happy. When we shine with joy we can also give light to others and bring some happiness in their lives. This is the greatest gift we can offer. Therefore, you don’t ever feel guilty about seizing opportunities that allow you to grow and be happy. Guilt is a straitjacket created by a society too worried because people “adapt” themselves, and has nothing to do with happiness.
In life, like on a roller coaster, always choose the first row
If we think of life as a roller coaster, we realize that we have two options: sit in the front row, and live intensely all the emotions, or sit sheltered in the third or fourth row.
In the front row we live intensely the experience, the wind will mess up our hairs, and we’ll feel vertigo, laugh and grab the arm of the person next to us. Probably we will have more fear, sometimes it is the price to pay for the courage to live new adventures, but it will be finished, we’ll know it was worth the effort. And later, as the years passed, we will continue to remember that moment.
If we decide to sit in the back rows it will be easier to stay calm, we will have more control and, above all, we will always have people in front of us that, in some way, keep us calm and show us what we’re up to. It is likely that during the tour we will feel more at ease, because we will feel less intense emotions, but in the future we’ll barely remember the experience.
The good news is that, unlike a roller coaster, in life you decide where to sit. No one is going to take the place you choose, unless you allow it. Therefore, do not hide behind excuses, have the courage to choose what you like and makes you happy. You cannot know in advance how it will be the journey of life, but you can be sure it will be worth it.