Children are not a blank canvas – or at least not in the literal sense. While it is true that they must acquire many skills and knowledge, it is no less true that they are also losing some of their innate capabilities.
In fact, did you know that just two days after birth, babies are already able to recognize their mother by smell in just 20 seconds, according to a study by the University of Florence?
As they grow and the other senses develop, this discriminatory capacity becomes inhibited. But it’s not the only one. The need to adapt to society rewires their brain and changes their focus of attention, so that they are forced to prioritize some skills at the expense of others.
The childhood skills that we should preserve as a treasure
Babies come into the world with a series of innate skills fundamental to surviving and adapting to their environment. Sucking and grasping reflexes, for example, are essential to ensure their survival. They also have other abilities that help them discover the world, such as the search reflex.
Some of these reflexes disappear naturally since they are no longer necessary as the child develops more complex skills, but other capacities that would be important to preserve are sacrificed on the altar of a society too focused on success that relegates being to a second plane.
1. Be fully present in the here and now
Babies are born with the extraordinary ability to live in the present. They have mindfulness in their DNA. When they are little, they do not worry about the future or feel tied to the past. What happened an hour ago is a thing of the past. And what will happen in the next hour, an adventure to discover.
When young children engage in an activity, they enjoy the moment to the fullest. When they plunge into the game, there is no temporal before or after. Whether they build a sand castle on the beach or a clay figure at home, there is only that in their world. When they feel happy, they laugh and when they feel bad, they cry. They experience their emotional states without dissonance. They give themselves fully.
However, as they grow older, they begin to worry about the future, become distracted, and have trouble concentrating. Their mind begins to wander and they stop enjoying what they are doing, which opens the doors to attention problems in childhood and life dissatisfaction in adulthood.
How can parents preserve that ability in their children?
Encourage your children to enjoy the here and now. Ask them to slow down when necessary, instead of pushing them to chase success. Motivate them to value the little things, those that are only appreciated when we are fully present, like a small flower on the edge of the walk or the song of a bird. Let them enjoy small pleasures without rushing them, from eating ice cream to playing with their pet.
If at any time you notice them worried, ask them to tell you what is happening and help them solve the problem. Teach them to let go of what they can’t control and pay attention to them every time they talk to you or need you. This way you will create the habit of being fully present at home and reinforce their ability to live in the here and now, which is the only moment we can truly control.
2. Be amazed by the wonder of the world
Astonishment is by no means a banal capacity. Centuries ago, Plato referred to it as a natural and indispensable state for philosophers because, although it originates in perception, it goes much further, driving the desire to know. Young children live in a state of almost permanent wonder. For them, everything is new. They have the whole world to discover, so it is not strange that they marvel with a snail and a flower as with the shape of the clouds.
A mixture of skill and sensitivity, amazement generates excitement and fascination, being at the basis of motivation and interests. Not only does it push children to explore and learn about their surroundings, but it also allows them to enjoy that journey. It is the playful component of learning and the fuel that fuels motivation. Unfortunately, it is a skill that fades over the years, so that some adults lose it completely, which can lead them to a state of apathy and anhedonia in which nothing moves or motivates them.
How can parents preserve that ability in their children?
Allow your child to enjoy his childhood without rushing. Remember that every time your child looks out the window, it is as if the sky opens before his sight. Give him time for the world to amaze him. Feed his natural curiosity. Motivate him to go further and continue delving deeper into what he is passionate about.
If you go out for a walk, remember that the journey is more important than the destination. Therefore, encourage him to stop and explore everything that catches his attention. And if you notice something interesting , show it to him. Whenever possible, allow him to explore freely, and when he shows you the “treasure” he has just discovered, do not downplay it or discourage him by telling him that it is something insignificant. You have to reinforce that sense of mystery, their thirst for knowledge and their ability to marvel at everything, because wonder is their true treasure – even though we adults have forgotten it.
3. Creativity to imagine other possible worlds
“In moments of crisis, only imagination is more important than knowledge […] Knowledge is limited, but imagination surrounds the world,” said Albert Einstein. In fact, as machines and Artificial Intelligence take over the most monotonous tasks, creativity will gain prominence in our society.
However, it is a capacity that we are losing as we advance in the calendar, according to research carried out at the University of California. According to these psychologists, preschool-age children are more creative than school-age children, who in turn obtain better results than adolescents and adults.
Young children have that magical creativity that allows them to dream and have imaginary friends or build a palace under the sheets of their bed. As time goes by, largely due to overly regulated learning and endless activities that have become a veritable race to skip stages, their thinking becomes more rigid and their imagination frays. Thus they lose the ability to imagine other possible worlds. And when we are not able to think of other alternatives, they cannot materialize.
How can parents preserve that ability in their children?
If you want your child to continue being creative, do not separate him from leisure, free play and nature. Leave him space and time to play, have fun and explore, but also to get bored because in those states creativity flourishes. Provide him with an inspiring environment where he feels free to create and express himself.
Remember that the fewer things a toy does, the more things the child’s mind will do. Therefore, it stimulates free play, that which develops step by step in his imagination, without rigid rules to follow or goals to achieve. Limit the use of technology and expand the space of imagination. Encourage him to invent stories, characters and settings in his games. Don’t cut the wings of fantasy because it is the basis of creativity.
Preserving these childhood skills is not that difficult, but it is necessary for parents to rethink learning as a journey that comes from within the person, a wonderful adventure in which adults only have the role of facilitators, respecting the rhythm of childhood to preserve their wonderful characteristics and allow them to continue growing without losing what allows them to enjoy life and be happy.
References:
Gopnika, A. et. Al. (2017) Changes in cognitive flexibility and hypothesis search across human life history from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. PNAS; 114(30): 7892–7899.
Ugalde, J. (2017) El asombro, la afección originaria de la filosofía. Areté; 29(1): 10.18800.
Marin, M. M. et. Al. (2015) Two-day-old newborn infants recognise their mother by her axillary odour. Acta Paediatr; 104(3): 237-240.
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