Do you know how to recognize the signs of “Emotional Bankruptcy”?

When you have money in your bank account, you can pay bills, buy things, access services, and live a relatively comfortable lifestyle. When you’re broke, when your account is in the red, you can’t pay anything. This same concept applies to emotions.

Emotional bankruptcy is a less well-known concept than financial insolvency, but it’s just as common and real, especially in today’s society, whose demands, expectations, and pace can end up draining us emotionally.

In fact, if you’ve been more irritable than usual lately, get angry at practically everything, can’t control your emotions, and have difficulty expressing them assertively without hurting others, you’re probably approaching zero on your “emotional account.”

What is emotional bankruptcy?

Emotional bankruptcy is a state in which we are unable to express, process, share, and/or accept our emotions. We simply lose the ability to manage our emotional states; they control us, becoming a force beyond us.

In some cases, we may fall into emotional indifference, feeling as if everything is foreign to us and that we can’t reciprocate the same affection for those closest to us. In other cases, emotional bankruptcy manifests itself through floods of negative feelings that we can’t contain.

Some of the most obvious signs of emotional bankruptcy are:

1. You get irritated by trivial things that you would have ignored under other circumstances.
2. You repress your emotions until you can’t take it anymore and you explode.
3. Sudden mood swings that you can’t explain, going from euphoria to sadness or from motivation to apathy.
4. You don’t accept certain emotions, you blame yourself for experiencing them and you reject them, which creates a feeling of guilt.
5. You are unable to share your emotional states with others; you withdraw into yourself, thinking that no one will be able to understand you.
6. You feel emotionally distant from the people who love you because you are unable to establish an emotional and empathetic bond.
7. You have developed a kind of learned helplessness because you don’t see a way out of the state you are in.

The road to emotional ruin

Very few people go bankrupt overnight. The same is true of emotional bankruptcy. While it’s true that we can lose our psychological balance due to a traumatic situation that has shaken our foundations, more often than not, emotional bankruptcy is the result of a slow process, the result of small problems, obstacles, and microtraumas that have accumulated without you realizing it. In fact, you’ll probably wonder at some point how you ever got to that point, but looking back, it all feels quite confusing.

You are more likely to lose emotional self-control when:

– You do too many things, you fill your days so much that you don’t take time to take care of yourself and recharge your emotional batteries.

– You ignore the warning signs, thinking you’ve lost your patience because of others without taking responsibility for them.

– You put off self-analysis, thinking that everything will be resolved tomorrow, when you get a raise, your partner is more understanding, you finish paying the mortgage… This way, you carry a burden of emotional dissatisfaction that will eventually explode, since, although the problems that plague you today may disappear, others will appear in their place.

The surest path to suffering is to make plans about what you expect to happen, rather than taking note of what’s actually happening. In fact, in many cases, emotional bankruptcy is the result of profound emotional exhaustion, of having resigned ourselves to suffering while waiting for better times when we could have done something to improve our situation.

The terrible effects of emotional bankruptcy

Obviously, emotional bankruptcy is as damaging to the person who suffers from it as it is to those involved in it. First, the emotional stress this situation generates can eventually cause disorders such as anxiety or depression, or even trigger health problems.

Every time you don’t accept, process, share, or express your emotions and feelings, you’re generating stress in your brain, which will be reflected in your body. Living in a state of emotional bankruptcy can make you sick and possibly shorten your lifespan.

Emotional coldness or emotional outbursts will also damage your relationships and scar those closest to you. An emotionally bankrupt person cannot meet others’ needs for affection or provide them with the emotional validation we all need. As a result, those relationships eventually deteriorate or break down altogether.

How to avoid emotional bankruptcy?

– Start a budget.  It would be ideal if you could clean up your emotional finances. You probably occasionally look back, longing for a time when everything was more peaceful. The problem is that the beliefs and behaviors that got you into trouble in the first place will likely persist.

It’s not uncommon for a new crop of expenses to appear just when you think you’ve finally regained emotional control, and for another situation to snatch it away from you again. This situation can be avoided by planning a solid budget; that is, being aware of how far we can go and stopping well before the point of no return. How many hours of work are too many? How many encounters with a problematic person can you endure?

You have to learn to defend your inner peace by developing Emotional Intelligence and taking the time necessary to regain your strength. Remember that sometimes you don’t fall because of weakness, but because you’ve been too strong for too long. In the end, just as you wouldn’t let others reach into your wallet and manage your money, you can’t allow them to manage your emotional account either.

– Boost your emotional income.  Every budget has two parts: income and expenses. So far, we’ve talked about how to reduce these expenses, but you can also boost your emotional health. Discover what activities help you replenish lost emotional energy. Some people need peace and quiet, others need activity and excitement. For some, solitude is a pressing need, but others need to be surrounded by people.

Find what’s best for you and invest in what makes you happy. This will allow you to build a kind of emotional cushion, called resilience, that will help you face the toughest times without losing control.