The past is written, but the future is a blank canvas. However, in our relationships we spend too much time reviewing mistakes, going over what went wrong and blaming ourselves or others for it. For this reason, criticism, even if well-intentioned, often leaves a bitter taste.
The shadow of what has already happened is so long that it often casts itself over the future, preventing us from realizing that we can only change what is coming. However, there is a psychological technique that can help us build rather than fail to repair: feedforward.
What is feedforward and why is it so transformative?
Feedforward is a process by which information focused on the future is provided to enhance opportunities for improvement. It involves asking for or receiving suggestions and recommendations for future development, so that the other person or ourselves can improve our performance, achieve our goals or develop certain skills.
Developed by Marshall Goldsmith in the organizational field, it is a communication technique aimed at promoting growth and a proactive attitude. In a way, it offers a kind of script on how to achieve objectives more effectively, whether in a personal project or in our relationships.
How is feedforward different from feedback?
In our day-to-day work, we tend to give a lot of feedback. That is, we evaluate past performance and focus on mistakes made. Feedforward, on the other hand, focuses on opportunities for improvement. Basically, it’s about fixing the roof before it leaks.
For example, in interpersonal relationships:
Feedback: “Your presentation was boring and didn’t connect with the audience.”
Feedforward: “In your next presentation, could you include more practical examples or visuals to capture the audience’s attention?”
Feedback: “You always do that, you forgot our last appointment.”
Feedforward: “For our next appointment, could you set a reminder so you don’t forget?”
Feedback: “Your report had too many spelling errors.”
Feedforward: “Have you considered using a digital tool to check spelling before submitting your next report?”
Feedback: “You were very negative in the group meeting yesterday.”
Feedforward: “Next time, could you give some constructive criticism?”
But we can also apply forwardness in our relationship with ourselves, for example:
Feedback: “I always leave everything to the last minute and don’t have time to finish.”
Feedforward: “In the next project I will divide the tasks into smaller blocks and plan them in advance.”
Feedback: “I am terrible at public speaking, I never manage to connect with people.”
Feedforward: “I will practice my next presentation more and use examples to connect better.”
Feedback: “I’ve skipped the gym again, I have no willpower.”
Feedforward: “Instead of going home, I’ll go straight to the gym tomorrow to avoid the temptation of lying on the couch.”
Feedback: “I spend too much, I never make ends meet.”
Feedforward: “Starting next month, I will schedule 10% of my paycheck to be automatically sent to an automatic savings account.”
Feedforward focuses on what we can do to improve the situation or address future challenges, rather than simply pointing out the mistake and kicking a dead horse. Instead of pointing out what went wrong, it provides concrete, positive suggestions for doing things differently next time. Of course, it’s not about ignoring mistakes, but rather focusing on learning and what can be changed with a view to the future.
It may seem like a small difference, but its impact on interpersonal relationships is enormous, as it fosters a more positive environment and helps to strengthen ties. On a personal level, it also stops that recriminating voice, helping us to see the path more clearly.
The benefits of applying early feedback
1. Positive orientation towards the future
As Goldsmith said, “We can change the future, but we cannot change the past.” Feedback helps us to envision a more positive future and strive to achieve it, rather than looking back at a failed past that often only drags frustration and insecurity into the present. If we give others ideas on how to change their behavior, they are more likely to succeed.
2. It is more constructive
It is often much more productive to help people grow than to prove them “wrong.” Negative feedback often becomes an unpleasant exercise in proving that the other person has failed. Feeling judged triggers a defensive attitude that helps no one. Feedforward, on the other hand, is often positive because it focuses on solutions, not mistakes, so it is not perceived as a personal attack.
3. Reinforce the change
While feedback reinforces personal stereotypes and self-fulfilling prophecies, feedforward reinforces the possibility of change. Feedback about the past tends to emphasize the feeling of failure because it brings up all the mistakes. In contrast, feedforward feedback is suggestions for the future to encourage positive change.
In fact, it is often much more effective because people are more receptive. Instead of getting angry or trying to defend themselves, they listen and reflect. It is therefore not surprising that a meta-analysis carried out at Liverpool John Moores University found that this type of feedback is more effective with students and promotes more positive changes.
How to apply feedforward in everyday life?
Feedback, more than a communication technique, can be understood as a philosophy of life since we can apply it in our relationships to transform how we communicate – with others or with ourselves.
The basic rules are very simple.
Rule number 1: No comments about the past allowed.
Rule number 2: You cannot judge or criticize.
Next:
- Identify the behavior you want to improve. To apply feedforward, start by choosing the behavior you’d like to change. It could be that your partner listens to you more, that your coworkers share tasks more evenly, or even that you overcome your tendency to give negative criticism.
- Reinforce what’s working. Before you discuss what you’d like to see different, share the positive things you’ve noticed. If your partner is caring, tell them so. If your coworkers are nice, acknowledge it. And if you’re a detail-oriented person, build on that quality. When you provide positive reinforcement for behaviors, they’re more likely to be repeated in the future.
- Use a constructive tone. Don’t judge the other person’s mistakes – or even your own – because that will only make them feel defensive. Try to make your words inspire, not intimidate. Remember that it’s important to create a positive feeling that encourages dialogue, openness and transformation.
- Suggest ideas for next time. Saying “you never tell me when you’re late” is different from saying “how about next time you tell me ahead of time that you’re going to be late?” The idea is the same, but the message doesn’t generate a defensive response because it’s a suggestion for the future, not a criticism of the past. A person is much more likely to hear and internalize the second statement because it gives them the power to make decisions.
- Be as specific as possible. The more specific you are, the clearer your expectations or suggestions will be. Instead of saying, “Do it better,” say, “Next time, you could try doing it that way .” Instead of telling yourself, “I need to get there earlier,” plan, “Next time, I’ll leave 15 minutes early to make sure I get there on time.”
Feedforward requires a change of mindset. It involves giving advice, guidance or direction without the reproaches and criticism that often come with them and that are so annoying. In practice, you exchange blame for support. In fact, feedback forward is not just a communication technique, it is a way of relating to others and to yourself. It involves understanding that people, including yourself, are constantly evolving, and that every conversation is an opportunity to build a better and kinder future for everyone.
So the next time you feel the urge to criticize or point out something that went wrong, stop for a moment and ask yourself what impact your words could have on that person or on your self-esteem. Make sure that what you are going to say is positive and developmental in order to change the future, rather than staying stuck in the past.
References:
Sadler, I., Reimann, N., & Sambell, K. (2022) Feedforward practices: a systematic review of the literature. Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education; 48(3): 305–320.
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