At the beginning of the 2010s, a still unknown Marie Kondō began to reveal to us the secrets of order. Little by little, her method spread to teach us how to organize a closet, our house, and our entire lives… In 2015, Time magazine included her on its list of the 100 most influential people in the world. (Apparently, the world had an unsuspected and urgent need for order.)
A decade later, there are already organizational “gurus” who teach you how to prepare your travel suitcase. Yes, Bing returns more than half a million results when you search for “how to pack a suitcase.” And that means that there are many people who, instead of starting to play Tetris with their clothes to find the best possible fit, prefer that someone tell them step by step what they should do.
Some will say that this is optimizing time or learning from “the best.” Maybe. Or perhaps we are entering an era in which creativity, curiosity and exploration are giving way to an amoebic society (I apologize to the amoebas).
The cult of the 21st century and the reality that no one wants to see
After three children and having made half the world feel guilty for having their homes (ergo, their minds) disorganized, Marie Kondo admitted in an interview that she has given up order. “My house is a mess,” she confessed to The Washington Post.
She is not the only guru who realizes that between theory in an idyllic world and practice in real life there is a huge gap.
Robert Kiyosaki, the writer of the bestseller “Rich Dad Poor Dad,” a financial guru who promised a path to financial freedom to his readers/followers through investing and business, boasted in an interview with Fortune magazine of having a billion dollar debt.
Unfortunately, social networks have enhanced the guru phenomenon to the nth degree, allowing them to reach an ever-growing fan base that is more eager for someone to tell them what they have to do to put their homes in order, prepare their suitcases, get rich by working as little as possible and, of course, have enviable physical health and perfect mental balance.
The hidden power of gurus: they play with your insecurities and laziness
We are surrounded by gurus specialized in all possible fields, who offer (charge) their “enlightened” opinions on everything we want to achieve, as if it were a magic lamp. Do you want to have more self-esteem? Done! Do you want the house of your dreams? I show you how to get it! Do you want to learn how to organize your closet? I’ll teach you!
The truth is that gurus exist because they take advantage of some human weaknesses, especially two: insecurity and laziness (sorry, someone had to say it).
- We feel insecure in a changing world that seems increasingly uncertain and complex, so we look for someone to tell us what we should do to survive (usually on a social level). But that someone has to be a real person with authority. So we can believe that someone really knows what to do, that someone is capable of finding order in chaos, which gives us a sense of control and calms us.
- We live in the society of ready to go, fast food and ready-to-wear, so it is not strange that the concepts of effort, sacrifice and perseverance sound outdated. When we want everything and we want it now, we are tempted to look for quick and easy solutions. We don’t have time to explore, investigate and discover on our own. We don’t think or try, we look for the answer on the Internet. And maybe that’s worth it to prepare your suitcases or organize your house, but it won’t be worth it to put order in your mind.
Of course, gurus understand this psychological mechanism quite well and are willing to use it. They leverage our insecurities to promote (sell) their solutions, which are invariably simple and always tailored to everyone.
Coaches, mentors, guides, experts, companions or influencers promise the shortest or easiest path to success (whether it’s folding a shirt perfectly or having the life of your dreams). But many times they forget (on purpose?) to tell the fine print: that the recipes, the advice, the formulas or the path that has worked for them is no guarantee that it will work for you, simply because everyone needs to find a way adapted to their story.
From loyal followers to free thinkers
One of the characteristics that defines us and has allowed us to survive, create and evolve as a species is curiosity. That word, which derives from the Latin “curiòsus ” and “cura ”, means diligence. Therefore, being curious not only implies simply having a desire to know but, above all, caring about investigating and exploring.
Curiosity, probably the most fruitful tension of humanity, is the ability to realize that behind experience, no matter how exhausting it may be, lies a serene wisdom. It is an impulse that moves us to discover other ways of doing things, thinking, being and, of course, achieving our goals.
Without curiosity, faith replaces thought. We stop being proactive and become reactive. Without curiosity, the problem is a mere obstacle (we do not realize that the obstacle is the path). If we lose curiosity and the desire to explore, we lose the opportunity to live and grow through setbacks and problems.
Of course, that doesn’t mean we don’t need anyone. There are many inspiring and wise people we can learn from. However, many are close to us, it is not necessary to look for them on the other side of the world or on the Internet. Anyone can be a guru for a day, from a friend who gives us good advice to an old man we just met. Even a child or a pet can help us discover new things.
Of course, there are also very good coaches, mentors and gurus who can help us at a specific moment along our path. However, we must make sure that these relationships truly empower us and do not become a dependency. And above all, we must make sure that we do not resort to them looking for the “fast track” or the “miracle solution.”
There is nothing wrong with simplifying our lives and looking for strategies to feel better or do things more efficiently. But we have to search with an open mind, a curious attitude and ready doubt.
Because, deep down, your best guru is yourself. There is no one better than you to know what you need and show you the path. No one can walk that path for you, so you better prepare to walk it. Falling down and getting up. Making mistakes and starting over. No matter how long it takes, it is better to discover the answers for yourself than to follow a life instruction manual that someone else has written.
At least that’s my truth. That’s my way. You, of course, will have to find yours.
