5 habits that destroy your self-esteem

Habits can be positive since they save us effort, but sometimes they become a double-edged sword, especially when we refer to certain ways of thinking. In fact, these habits can harm our ability to appreciate what we do and value ourselves as people. 

Usually these habits come from childhood, from a family environment where self-love did not prevail. Parents with low self-esteem often pass on to their children certain mental habits that prevent them from loving and accepting themselves. The good news is that being aware of these habits is the first step to eliminating them and developing healthy self-esteem. We cannot do anything with the habits that have been passed on to us in childhood but we can change our way of thinking as adults.

What are the habits that destroy self-esteem?

1. Disqualify yourself. Listen carefully to your inner dialogue. What do you say to yourself? Do you often tell yourself that you are worthless and that you do not have the necessary qualities to be a winner? That dialogue, which someone probably transmitted to you, only serves to denigrate you and close the doors to opportunities. Remember that all people have strengths and weaknesses so it is simply a matter of finding your potential and developing them. 
2. Act like a victim.  In the face of difficulties, there are different ways of acting, there are those who grow up and others simply feel sorry and assume the role of victims of others or of destiny. However, putting the responsibility on others will not help you feel more confident and secure, quite the opposite. Remember that the point you are at now is the consequence of your decisions. Although it’s not about blaming yourself, it’s about taking control of your life.
3. Demand yourself too much. Perfectionist people often have low self-esteem since nothing they do meets their expectations. Because they aspire to perfection, their tasks always seem incomplete or unsatisfactory. In this way, they do not usually take pride in their achievements and do not give each other words of encouragement. Therefore, although they may be one of the first in their class or one of the most effective workers, they have low self-esteem because they feel that they do not meet their requirements, which are obviously too high.
4. Make comparisons. Human beings make comparisons, so we know if something is bigger or prettier, more appetizing or decidedly grotesque. However, the habit of comparing ourselves with others just to highlight our flaws, insecurities or mistakes is the most direct way to destroy our self-esteem. Therefore, if you are going to make comparisons, avoid competing and, above all, do not compare people, compare results and ways of doing things. It is a subtle difference that, in the long run, turns out to be substantial.
5. Focus on mistakes. There are people who, even when they achieve a goal, look back and point out their mistakes. It is logical that along a path we make mistakes, these are part of the process, but to stay motivated and have a healthy self-esteem, it is important that mistakes do not become the standard with which we measure ourselves because in this way we will minimize our achievements and we will maximize our weaknesses, which obviously does not make us feel good.