Updated: 15/12/2023 por Jennifer Delgado | Published: 14/05/2018
Life is a succession of points, some allow starting a new paragraph related to the previous one and others close a chapter. There are also end points that culminate books. Sometimes those stories leave us with a good taste in our mouth, others they are bitter. Unfortunately, not all endings are happy, there are also necessary endings.
There are moments in life, whether in the personal or professional field, that reality dictates that we must arm ourselves with courage and put the final point. If we don’t, we will remain immersed in a destructive situation that can only get worse.
Difficult but necessary endings
There are many situations in which we need to put an end and turn the page:
– A couple relationship that ran aground for a long time
– A dream that has little chance of materializing
– A job that generates deep dissatisfaction
– A toxic person who is not willing to change
– The family ties that suffocate us
– The social ties that squeeze us too strong
However, sometimes, although the reality is painful and obviously harmful, we find it difficult to put that final point. Why?
The excuses are varied, but the cause is always one: fear.
– Fear of how that person will react and of the confrontation
– Fear of what others may think of us for having made that decision
– Fear of the unknown, to leave the comfort zone that we have created
– Fear of abandoning old habits that, although they are harmful, give us an illusory sense of security
– Fear of making mistakes, to make an incorrect decision that we later regret
– Fear of suffering, not being able to cope with the change and fall apart
– Fear of the future and to have to build a new beginning
Regardless of what your greatest fear is, sooner or later you will have to assume that some endings are necessary, because of your own emotional balance. The endings are part of life, they are a phase, like the seasons of the year. Therefore, we must be able to recognize when something has ended and we need to move on to the next season.
Imagining that our life is like a tree will help us to better understand the necessary endings. Gardeners prune a rose for three reasons:
1. The bush is producing more buds than it can hold, so it is necessary to eliminate some so that the others have more resources to flourish
2. Some branches and buds are sick and will not recover, so it is essential to eliminate them to save the rose bush
3. Some branches and roses have already died and are absorbing energy unnecessarily from the plant, affecting its growth
If we apply this idea to our life we will realize that over time we can accumulate too many relationships, interests, activities, commitments… that consume all our time and energy. We must accept that sometimes we simply cannot do everything and we have to close some chapters in order to enjoy the things and people that really matter to us. Sometimes we have to do a preventive pruning, bet for less to enjoy more.
Other times we have to do a “healing pruning”. It’s about those relationships, places and things that have been dead for a long time, in the metaphorical sense of the term, so we just have to let them go.
There is a point at which we must simply accept that we have tried everything with that person to change, but it has not taken effect. Or that we have tried everything at work and still things have not worked. We must understand that there is a moment to persevere and another to desist, that some endings are happy and others simply necessary.
An infallible technique to know if it is necessary to put a terminal point
If you have been thinking about finishing something for some time but do not dare to take the last step, a technique that will help you decide is to imagine what your life will be like two or five years from now, if everything goes the same or gets worse. Imagine how you will feel and what the results would be of not putting a terminal point right now.
If you still cling to hope, ask yourself if it has a solid foundation or is built on quicksand. Is that hope rational or is it a defense mechanism to not address the problem?
If you do not like the scenario that appears before you, take the largest pencil you can find and draw that final point. Before you will open other chapters that you still have to write.
