Believing in oneself, self-confidence, is not something that is inherited, it is something that is learned and developed throughout life. However, among all the qualities we can have, believing in oneself is one of the most important, as it not only allows us to set more ambitious goals and achieve them, but also to feel good about ourselves, even when we do not achieve our goals.
People who lack self-confidence prefer to stay in their comfort zone, even if they don’t feel completely comfortable, because they believe that they won’t be able to fight for their dreams. This attitude condemns them to a life of dissatisfaction, full of “shoulds” and “I wish I had.”
Why don’t we believe in ourselves?
Self-confidence is a quality that begins to develop in childhood. As soon as we realize that we are an independent person, we begin to form an idea of who we are. This image of our “self” will be determined by what others think of us.
If our parents were also self-defeating, we may have learned this defeatist way of relating to our “self.” Lack of self-confidence can also arise from overprotective parents who never gave the child opportunities to test their strength and develop their abilities. Or from parents who often used derogatory phrases to refer to their child, such as: “ you are worthless ” or “ you are not made for that .”
When this pattern is repeated over time, the person grows up with a very negative self-image and will therefore not have enough confidence in their abilities to take on challenges or feel comfortable with themselves.
Of course, the causes of a lack of confidence do not always lie in childhood. Sometimes it arises from life experiences that are assumed to be failures. When someone thinks in terms of “all or nothing” and sees mistakes as something negative, a series of failures can end up undermining their self-esteem and confidence.
How to believe in yourself?
1. Be patient. You’ve probably spent many years doubting your abilities, so you can’t expect to magically become a self-confident person overnight. Learning to believe in yourself is a process that takes time and is marked by ups and downs, moments of doubt and setbacks. The key is to be patient and not give up.
2. Learn to love yourself. Love, in the broadest sense of the term, works wonders. When you accept yourself for who you are and love yourself for it, life can take a radical turn because you will automatically increase your confidence in your abilities and you will feel strong enough to face new challenges. To learn to love yourself, it is important not to compare yourself, to understand that each person is unique and that it is precisely in these differences that the greatness of each person lies.
3. Don’t let others label you. People have a tendency to label others and often give you a glimpse of their negative and limiting opinions. Don’t let others tell you that you can’t do it and stop you once you’ve made a decision. Remember that there is nothing worse than reaching the end of the road and wondering what would have happened if you had dared.
4. Think about the present. To believe in yourself, it is important to learn to think about the here and now. Don’t let your past and previous failures limit you. Just as you shouldn’t let fear of the future paralyze you. Think that right now you are building your life. Just because you haven’t achieved something doesn’t mean you won’t achieve it if you try hard.
5. Take it step by step. Thinking about big goals and the road ahead can often be scary. To start believing in yourself, you need to go little by little, so that each step brings you closer to your goal but without taking leaps that can overwhelm you. Set realistic goals and when you have achieved them, congratulate yourself for it.
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