Toxic people are everywhere. It is even possible that we ourselves, in certain circumstances, adopt some of the behaviors that bother us so much in others.
However, the truth is that having to deal with these people day after day can be exhausting and lead to frustration. In fact, if you do not have the right psychological tools, these people will end up taking over your time and deeply affect your inner peace with their exaggerated and unreasonable demands. Therefore, it is essential to learn to deal with their demands without losing our cool and without giving up our rights.
How to stay calm when dealing with toxic people?
1. Focus on solutions
Toxic people often create a suffocating feeling. However, if you focus on those negative emotions and thoughts, you will feel even worse, you will feel like you are in a maze with no way out and the chances of losing control increase. As a result, stress will increase. Therefore, it is better to focus on solutions, on how to resolve that specific situation and reduce your stress level.
2. Set limits
Toxic people will try to get you to sink into their problems. They don’t really want solutions, they just want to consume your time and unload their load of negativity. That’s why it’s important to learn to distinguish between people who really need help because they want to solve a problem and those who just want to complain and behave like human garbage trucks. In that case, set healthy boundaries that allow you to keep your distance.
3. Don’t expect a change
Achieving change in people is not an impossible task, but it is complicated and requires a great deal of effort. In general, it is difficult for toxic people to change because they tend to put up a lot of resistance. Therefore, do not waste time blaming them, disapproving of their actions or reproaching their words because in this way you are likely to only make the situation even worse. Simply make short and concise suggestions but do not put too much pressure on them.
4. Don’t argue
Saving energy is important. Moreover, arguments often only serve to make you feel worse. That’s why it’s essential that you don’t fall into the game that toxic people propose to you, don’t let yourself get dragged into their web. If you notice that your interlocutor can’t handle his emotions well or is not open to new arguments, avoid starting an argument. For your psychological balance, it’s better to learn to choose which battles to fight and which to withdraw from in time.
5. Know yourself
If you know yourself well and know what your point of no return is, that moment when you lose patience, you will be able to stop yourself before reaching that extreme. On the contrary, if you let the toxic person advance, without establishing a barrier, you will only end up angry and frustrated. Maintain emotional control at all times and, if you think you are about to lose it, stop the conversation politely. Tell your interlocutor that at that moment you cannot continue talking about that subject.
6. Overcome negativity
Toxic people do not usually act rationally. If they did, they would not exhibit so many negative behaviors that violate the rights of others. In fact, sometimes, it is not even the person who bothers us, but rather the thought of their irrational, unfair, and even selfish behavior. Therefore, the golden rule to be able to deal calmly with these people is to overcome that initial negativity. Respond only to the facts, do not follow the thread of their chaotic thinking, and do not expect them to act as you would.
7. Don’t judge
It’s hard not to judge. In fact, on the path of Personal Growth, it’s one of the most difficult habits to break, but also one of the most beneficial. Try not to judge the person in front of you, instead, offer them respect, understanding and compassion. Remember that behind these behaviors there are probably hidden childhood traumas, fears or frustrations. Remember that we are neither better nor worse, just different.
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