Disappointments are just around the corner: a professional failure, a bad grade on an exam, a break-up, a friend’s indifference… There are many reasons for this, but they almost always leave a bitter taste in our mouths. How can we face disappointments without breaking down?
Carrot, egg and coffee beans
A young woman was going through a particularly difficult period, filled with constant disappointments. One evening, she told her mother about her problems. She said she was tired of struggling because after every problem she managed to overcome with great effort, another one arose that was even worse. After half an hour of talking, the young woman confessed that she was going to give up.
The mother listened patiently and asked her to follow her into the kitchen. Without saying anything else, she filled three pots with water and put them on the fire. In one of them she put a carrot, in another an egg and in the third, some coffee beans.
After a while, which seemed endless to the young girl, the mother turned off the fire, took each of the ingredients out of the water and poured the coffee into a cup. At that point she asked her: “What do you see? ”
“I see a carrot, an egg and coffee,” the young woman replied, perplexed.
The mother asked the young girl to touch the carrot, which was very soft, to break the boiled egg, and to drink some of the coffee. The young girl still did not understand.
The mother smiled and explained: “The carrot, the egg and the coffee beans all faced the same challenge: hot water. However, they reacted differently. The carrot, which was strong before, fought against the water and became weak and soft. The egg, which was fragile, became hard. On the contrary, the coffee beans reacted differently: they remained identical and, what is more, they transformed the water into an irresistible drink.”
The mother continued speaking sweetly: “I know that you have suffered many disappointments but only you can choose how to face them: you can be like the carrot, strong in appearance but ending up weakened, you can be like the egg, which reacts by hardening and avoiding emotions or you can be like the coffee beans that, even in adversity, do not change and give their best.”
The 3 powerful lessons hidden in this story
This simple but powerful story teaches us that the happiest people are not those who have never experienced disappointments and problems, but those who have known how to face adversity and have transformed it into an opportunity to grow.
To act like coffee beans you must:
1. Think about it. Jim Rohn said that “you can choose to suffer now from discipline or later from disappointment.” With this phrase he meant that many of the disappointments we suffer have not arisen out of nowhere but are based on our expectations and, above all, on decisions we have made. Life, sooner or later, presents us with the bill and, at that moment, we must be prepared to pay it. That is why it is so important to think about the mistakes we have made. That way we will not make them again in the future.
2. React. Sometimes disappointments come unexpectedly, the element of surprise knocks us out and prevents us from acting, so we stay wallowing in our pain. However, by reacting we lessen some of its impact and become stronger. However, it is important to react in the right way or we will run the risk of being overwhelmed by the situation and collapsing, like the carrot, or becoming armored, like the egg. The idea is that you do not resist disappointment, accept it, live through the pain and then move on. In this way you will also develop resilience.
3. Resist. Problems don’t come alone, one disappointment is followed by another and then another. Obviously, this situation can be discouraging but don’t forget the famous quote by Anthony Robbins: “When everything seems impossible and you’re about to give up, it’s because victory is near.“ Focus on your goals, encourage yourself with positive experiences from the past and remember that the future still has many pleasant surprises for you, this is just a phase that will pass.
