Updated: 16/06/2025 por Jennifer Delgado | Published: 18/11/2024
Throughout our lives, we face many storms: painful losses, resounding failures, disappointments that leave us battered, crises that shake us… Each of these situations usually generates a real emotional tsunami marked by feelings such as despair or confusion. However, if we are able to face them properly, these chaotic situations can help us build a deep inner calm.
Storms as catalysts for resilience and self-knowledge
“It is called calm and it cost me many storms, but I would go through them a thousand times more to find it again,” says a poem by the Dalai Lama. In fact, calm plays a leading role in Buddhist philosophy, especially the ability to quiet the mind when there is a storm outside.
We have all experienced chaotic moments, extremely complicated days and even difficult existential stages that turn everything upside down. However, although it is not easy, these circumstances can become valuable life teachers that support resilience.
In fact, being resilient is not just about bouncing back, but about being able to face adversity with equanimity and emerge stronger from the experience. Storms test us: not only do they bring out our greatest vulnerabilities, but they also push us to seek an inner strength that we were often unaware of possessing.
Each of these storms will help us write our “manual of calm.” With each difficulty we can develop new psychological tools that allow us to better deal with future crises, which will give us the self-confidence and security necessary to move forward.
During difficult times we can reach a higher level of self-awareness, which allows us to put our priorities in their proper place. By facing our vulnerability, we gain deeper insight into our true needs and motivations. That process of gaining self-awareness, though painful at times, is crucial to achieving the long-term serenity that comes from self-confidence.
True mental calm: The fruit of many storms
Calmness is not achieved by avoiding storms, but by weathering them when they come and learning from them. After experiencing adversity, we understand that life is, at its core, unpredictable. We can’t control everything that happens, but we can decide how we respond.
We learn to live more in the present, without obsessing over everything that can go wrong. We learn not to resist change, but to adapt. Like waves that cannot be stopped, life’s storms will come, but if we stop fighting them and learn to flow, peace will come more naturally.
In this sense, a study carried out at the University of East Anglia discovered that the way in which we remember an adverse event and how we perceive ourselves when everything is over are key aspects in determining whether we will emerge stronger or, on the contrary, develop emotional trauma.
Every storm will leave a mark and a lesson. Over time, each lesson can make us stronger, balancing our center of gravity. Therefore, that deep and authentic calm that we so desire is not achieved by meditating inside a safety bubble, but by living. It is the result of accepting our emotions, learning from our experiences and, above all, knowing that we are capable of withstanding any storm.
Source:
Memarzia, J. et. Al. (2024) Predictive models of post-traumatic stress disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and anxiety in children and adolescents following a single-event trauma. Psychological Medicine; 54(12): 3407-3416.
