Educating a child is not an easy task, it requires a lot of patience and dedication. And as the child begins to grow and gain autonomy and independence, the docility of the first years disappears and in its place more rebellious and even challenging behaviors emerge. In many cases these behaviors disappear on their own but other times it is essential to take action on the matter and stop inappropriate behaviors.
At this point, parents usually use advice that has been transmitted from one generation to another, but the most effective thing would be to rely on certain behavioral techniques, which are very effective and offer results in a relatively short period of time.
These techniques come from the behaviorist approach according to which, once a behavior has been learned, it can also be unlearned if the appropriate stimuli are applied. The most interesting thing about these behavioral techniques is that they are not complex, any parent can put them into practice, they just require a little perseverance.
In fact, at first many think that they have no effect because there is generally an increase in the intensity and frequency of the behaviors that they want to avoid. However, this reaction will simply tell you that you are on the right track, you will just have to have a little patience.
The most effective behavioral techniques to eradicate negative childhood behaviors
1. Time out or withdrawal of attention
It is a very effective technique for controlling children’s behavior and especially for those behaviors that are expressed through tantrums, anger and other aggressive manifestations. In essence, it is that, in the face of the child’s inappropriate behavior, you stop paying attention to him. In this way you will be eliminating positive reinforcement and, in its absence, the behavior will disappear.
Basically, the problem is that the child adapts to receiving more attention while getting angry or having a tantrum, so these behaviors become a form of communication and, in many cases, an easy way to get what they want. It is worth clarifying that this technique is much more effective if during the behavior to be eliminated the parents leave the child alone in the room or send him to another room where he cannot entertain himself with any other activity.
The idea is that you withdraw your attention just when the behavior begins to manifest, but the distancing should not last too long (a maximum of 20 minutes in the case of older children), since the intention is not to punish them but rather to make them understand that with their behavior they will not be able to get what they wanted, which will generate slight separation anxiety. On the contrary, if the time of application of the technique is extended too much it can be counterproductive and there is a risk that the child will feel abandoned, which can cause negative consequences.
Of course, you can’t always leave a child alone, especially if the behavior appears in a public place or if there is a risk that he or she could hurt himself. In these cases, you should avoid eye contact and communication with the child until the behavior has stopped. Once the behavior has disappeared, there is no need to threaten, reproach or lecture him as this can make the situation worse. Wait for the child to calm down before giving attention again.
2. Paradoxical intention
This behavioral technique is very effective but if not applied properly it can have a boomerang effect on the behavior you want to eliminate. In essence, it is about asking in a few words to do what you want to avoid. For example, if you want your child to remain silent while you check email, you will simply ask him or her to start talking or shout.
At first glance it may seem like a contradiction but little by little this behavioral technique will bear fruit. It is likely that the first few times the child will feel very satisfied because he has achieved his goal, but as time goes by his motivation for the behavior in question will decrease because he will notice that you are not angry, that it does not provoke any emotional reaction in you. In this way, it is likely that the behavior will become extinct. When the roles are reversed, the child stops being disobedient and begins to obey the orders of adults.
3. Token economy
This is a very useful behavioral technique when you want to reinforce the child’s positive behavior and eliminate their negative behaviors. It is about offering him points for each positive behavior he has, that is, for each negative behavior that he manages to overcome. Thus, he will accumulate several points until he reaches a certain amount, which must be previously negotiated with the child, at which time he will be offered a reward for his good behavior.
An essential aspect when applying this technique consists of prior negotiation with the child of the number of points to be rewarded, as well as the intermediate and final prizes. In this way, the child’s motivation to eliminate his negative behavior as soon as possible will increase. You can create a board where you write down the points and prizes, following a plan established in advance.
In case of bad behavior, you can also take away some points but as long as you have agreed beforehand with the child. The essential thing about this behavioral technique is to make him realize that by behaving well he obtains greater benefits and privileges than with his negative attitude. It is not about the child learning to function based on rewards but rather giving him, at the beginning, reasons that motivate him to change his behavior.
Don’t forget…
These behavioral techniques are a quick solution that you can put into practice here and now but don’t forget that these behaviors have arisen for a reason. Before putting these tips into practice, it is important that you discover its causes. Does the child feel that you are not giving him the attention he needs? Does he demand more affection? Are you imitating other people’s behavior? Could there be an underlying psychological disorder? Is bad behavior caused by inappropriate educational style?
